13) Foe

13) Foe
Just let me be on my knees,
Let on my hand be a rose,
Let there be a smile on her face,
Let me that portrait finish,
Grant me this one last wish,
Love .. oh .. love.

I won’t be able to
Live in this sea of hate,
Unless you leave me with
At least a ray of hope,
Don’t maroon without even a drop of tear,
Love .. oh .. love.

Oh ! I would’ve lived always in a dreamland,
I would’ve cherished you, forever in my heartland,
But why didn’t you stop me from,
facing her, loosing her,
Love .. oh .. love.
Why did you become my foe.

Street play: Misconceptions about Mental Illnesses

Street play: Misconceptions about Mental Illnesses

(About 6-7 actors are the minimum need, and up to 10 actors can take part as it is flexible.)

Props: about 10 placards. 9 of them needed to be tied at two ends with a thread, or if more elaborate work can be done, then they can be stuck to caps or some head gear. In big lettering they should be written:
1) Pollution,
2) Infection
3) Food poisoning
4) Pickpocket
5) Angry boss
6) Death
7) Typhoid or cancer
8) Mad
9) Recovered mad
10) This will continue

SCENE - 1:
A director is doing his job, setting up a scene of a mental hospital. He is frantically running around, yelling at his actors and actresses to yell out more loudly, attack each other, laugh loudly and cry together, move body more etc. There are a few actors who are trying to look and behave like inmates of a mental hospital from a typical Hindi film. (The attempt is to make the mentally ill people look like they are a mix between insane and intellectually retarded people, who do stupid things, which is supposed to make audience laugh).

The clapboard is closed to indicate the scene has started, and then there is mayhem and chaos. Somebody is crying out loudly and laughing, a doctor is running around giving direct shock from broken wire and hitting people with a big hammer, somebody runs around to attack the audience. Suddenly a guy from outside walks in and the director yells, “cut, cut”.

The guy: (Who just walked in) What’s all this?
Director: We are shooting a mental hospital scene.
Guy: But hey, have you ever been to a mental hospital, seen the inside of a mental hospital?
Director: No, never, I didn’t have to… haha… haha

Guy: Hey, this is not a laughing matter, how can you show all these people about a mental hospital if you have not even bothered to find how it is?, and I don’t understand, even educated people like you (fingering audience) laugh when somebody is insulting your intelligence like this?? (the audience who were having fun till now, quiet down as they realize they had not thought of it earlier).

Director: hey, you got a point there, how does a mental hospital look?
Guy: let’s go to one, and let me show you all.

SCENE - 2:
Scene of a mental hospital as it usually looks in most parts of the world. It is more like any ordinary hospital for physiological diseases. There are a few people going on about their business, some are lost in their own world. Some are doing meaningful work. The doctor is treating people in a humane way. One of the guys is seen as being discharged as he has recovered and moving out. Other inmates wish him luck just in the normal way. The director is walking around observing all this and he claps his hands with other inmates when they clap to give the recovered patient a warm goodbye. Claps and claps.

SCENE - 3:
At the two ends of stage two people are standing. A voice over comes and introduces them. Then guy-1 starts walking forward and is seen walking ahead all the time. Suddenly he closes his nose as if he has neared a smelly place. A person wearing the board pollution runs out to the stage and runs around guy-1 and disappears. Guy-1 gets a bit tired and droops, but within a few seconds straightens up and walks back normally.

Then guy-2 walks ahead, towards him a guy with board of pick-pocket runs and circles and disappears. The guy-2 after few seconds searches and finds his loss and droops for some seconds, then shrugs off and walks back normally. Similarly for guy-1 food poisoning comes and for guy-2 it is firing from his boss, and in the third round, infection through mosquito for guy-1 and death of a close person for guy-2. All three times they recover after momentary affect.

Then in the fourth round for guy-1 all three things come together and dance around him and he falls down, and when the dancers disappear he is wearing a board - typhoid. And for guy-2 all three things dance and he also falls down and is seen wearing a board MAD.

Voice over: when our body is imbalanced it shows symptoms - sometimes they are psychological symptoms and sometimes they are physiological and sometime a mixed effect. The person is not responsible for it totally in either case.

SCENE - 4:
again guy-1 and guy-2 are standing at 2 ends, guy-1 is cared by his family, but guy-2 with MAD as the board on him is kicked out and people are pushing him, laughing at him, kids throw stones at him etc. guy-1 recovers quickly, puts on the board on recovered from typhoid and is welcomed by his colleagues and relatives. Guy-2 is put in mental hospital and recovers slowly alone and is put on the board of recovered MAD.

When guy-2 returns home, a small kid runs to welcome him, but other older members restrain her and tells him to get lost, and that once MAD means always MAD. Onlookers also nod their heads to agree and laugh at the recovered mad guy-2 and push him away, kids throw stones at him, and everyone dance madly around him. When they go back, the guy-2 is put the board of MAD and he is lying down on the floor in pain.

Voice over: “discrimination done between a physiological and a mental disease is due to ignorance, nobody can change the chemical changes that happens in their brain just like nobody can kill cancer cells on their own. Both are diseases and these people need help and co-operation from outside world”.

SCENE - 5:
One guy comes in front and tells the audience that to help people in distress and improve our society we need unity, if we stand together we can overcome problems. Another actor then walks in and says we need mass education, and that knowledge is the key for a better future. The first guy is looking in astonishment when a third actor comes and says we need sympathy for others and peace in our heart and the world will become a paradise.

The two others push the third away and a fourth comes and says we need to have faith and belief, and only God can help us sinners, and fifth and sixth one come together and start saying technological advances are what we need to concentrate and sixth one yells justice and equality should be enforced and their is a pushing match and these people start yelling and hitting each other and mayhem and chaos reigns. One guy with a big placard written, “THIS WILL CONTINUE”, walks around the fighting people as the curtain falls. (To signify, good intentions also require team work and systematic efforts to reach fruitful stage, this is the punch line or twist at the end).

[This street-play won 2nd prize in Bombay Univ. annual fest. in ’97. Written and directed by Venky Iyer, Actors: Shashank, Deepa, Vidya, Indrayani, Atish, Venky (MA Psychology Dept) & Abhijit (Math Dept) and Samir].

12) Dust

12) Dust
A smoldering fire,
Was blazing erect,
Aided by the windless night,
In the middle of darkness;
In the middle of darkness?

All around the fire,
Ghosts dancing in silent music
Their giant shadows falling,
In asymmetrical patterns;
In asymmetrical patterns?

Through the cracked earth,
Flow scenes from the past,
Broken dolls, burned papers
And rising in midst,
Dust of unrealized dreams.

11) Dreamer

11) Dreamer
Her laugh defines freedom,
Her clothes casual than denim,
Her glance borders on carelessness,
Her eyes brim with mischievousness,

Her hair reminds me of an unruly child,
Her makeup invisible like wind,
Her attitude so damn cool,

Her books bricks in a wall,
Her face a treasury of myriad expressions,
Her walk breezy like air.

Her specs golden like her heart, I am sure
But her awareness, I am alive zero?
That’s all I want to change,
Maybe tomorrow.

10) Dream

10) Dream
I had a long lost dream,
With the innocence of childhood,
Just a few seasons behind,
But unseen like last years rain.

A dream to awake, to hear the
Squeaking of heart, while lost in rat races,
Digging deeper into the mine,
Searching for the glittering dust.

It didn’t matter,
Whether I was waddling or walking,
As I stared through the thickening mist,
Up at the widening sky.

Lack of light, didn’t stop
Me, from stopping,
And to engrave my name in gold,
I am still running.

9) Cure

9) Cure
Pigments color the skin,
Climate affects complexion,
Creases come with age,
Changes a person a lot, care
And beauty is only skin deep;

Though curse I myself, later
Can’t seem to help craving,
To converse, caress,
Can’t afford the bills,
Can’t the ceaseless chatter bear
Yet, can’t seem to help suffering,
From countless heartaches.

But stops me not, all this awareness,
From falling again for a pretty face;
And can’t seem to find a cure,
For this confounded thing;

Seem so intense,
During their duration,
And fool me every time,
These hollow emotions…

8) Crush

8) Crush
Your casual clothes,
Your careless walk,
Your white hair band,
Your black watch
And the bag you carry,
Only half filled with books,
I like all those things about you.

Your mischievous curly strand of hair,
Which keep falling on your face,
Your black lovely eyes,
Which overflows with innocence,
Your sweet smile,
Which brightens up the whole place;
I like all those things about you.

I don’t know your name,
But it is as beautiful I am sure,
I haven’t heard your voice,
But I won’t come near,
Because I am afraid to hear,
The word, ‘No’
So I’ll stay away from you,
Until I can like even that word from you.

7) Circus

7) Circus
Kids craning their necks,
Amidst feeble claps,
Smell of animal dung
And glaring lights all around.

Unusual acts performed
In colorful costumes.
People living on the edge,
Of fame and lameness.

The phony weights and
Fake roars,
And an accidental death,
In the final act.

In no man’s land,
Almost every year,
It comes and goes,
Leaving tent marks.

Because of a free pass,
I also went to see,
To find forgotten memories,
But were beyond remembrance.

6) Childhood

6) Childhood
Many memories surround,
Around my village pond,
Filled with dark green waters,
And one half with weeds.

School and to play after,
Scattered all over,
Four different god’s houses
And my punctual mates.

A time when home was a shelter,
Parents my protector,
Every companion a friend,
And any place a playground.

All the teachers cruel,
Every girl untouchable,
And each new day
Dawned with bright hopes.

Don’t remember how,
Got I transformed, now
Ask often god, why did you put
The best of life at first?

But it gave me,
A foundation filled with pleasure,
And to reminisce,
An era of happiness?

5) Burial

5) Burial
As I walked toward sea,
Dark, silent, with quickly
Moving feet,
A funeral procession,
Turned the corner with me.

A black box,
Freshly screwed tight, covered
With white cloth, floated
On shoulders, along with
The rhythmically moving footsteps;
I followed.

Made heavy by dew drops,
Grass blades bent, touched and released,
Their burden on my feet, as I stood,
Alone in the burial grounds, unable to
Wipe out the memories, like tears,
As people did, when they left me,
Standing like the marble slabs
To let dew drops escape to the ground.

I left, trailing behind,
Etching strange patterns,
My unburied coffin.

4) Blackness

4) Blackness
In a spot of darkness,
Changing their forms,
Images appeared,
The more I stared.

A house, a man or trees,
Reflected in the light of stars,
Till ennui took over,
Trying to understand the perceiver.

That vision returned in the night,
Now into a bottomless pit,
It transformed and made me sink,
Rang alarms, but I tried, not to wake.

The body’s weightless feeling,
Giving up of control, without fighting,
But treacherous eyes opened,
Dumping me back in solid bed.

Now without fear I return to the place,
Jump into that spot of darkness,
To explore again my forbidden self,
But bounce back to humdrum life.

3) Atheist

3) Atheist
The wasted hours of praying,
In front of a stone carving,
And other ironical rituals,
Sets afire atheistical spirits.

Every god is a symbol,
And all religions a party, political,
They promise you an asylum or salvation;
Just like others, to stay in contention.

Because your parents, forced
You from your childhood,
Fearing the stigmas of society,
Bond you are with a (religious) party.

Held sacred the ancients, best sellers
Helped by longest ever campaigns,
But from mere followers of it,
Fanatical we’ve become, in spirit.

Compete with science, theories;
Like the world was created in seven days,
Or came through the navel, because of people,
Conditioned like Pavlov’s dogs.

2) Anti-depressant

2) Anti-depressant
Will you ever know
The way you make me feel…
Even the thought of your tears... Makes me feel
Like a raging storm… blind in its fury.

Your absence… makes me feel
Like a scared, lonely child… on a corner.
Your eyes… make me feel
Like a gentle breeze’s heart… on a desert.

Your upward look… makes me feel
Like a fire, burning on… to consume itself.
Your smile… makes me feel
Like the sky… where birds fly.

Your silence... makes me feel
Like earth’s core… where volcanoes erupt.
Your teasing... makes me feel
Like calmness met chaos... and dance.

Your laughter... makes me feel
Like a mirror... be in that frame forever.
Your kind word... makes me feel
Like the morning… in a prayer.

You… make me feel
Like waking up... to dream again,
To find whether you will ever know
The way you make me feel…

1) Another day

1) Another day
Crying children,
Shapeless houses,
Cracked footpaths,
Boisterous vendors,
My creased worn shoes
Moved around a banana peel.

Walking through the flow,
All alone in a sea of faces,
Covering the usual distance,
To the crammed office buildings,
Climbing up the wooden stairs,
Glared at the faulty lift.

Away from the dry brown designs,
Footfalls echoing around me,
Unconsciously adjusting the tie,
Sat on the sagged chair;
Looked through the piles of files,
To see the dress of stenographer.

Drinking the usual tea,
Waiting for the boss to come,
Wishing for an earthquake,
I started another day.

who's faith is it anyway?

haven't been blogging since a long time, it seems.
been doing more facebooking than anything else on the net, as it seems to be the trend. everyone tends to go where they get feedback ;)

been hearing many queries about some topics again and again these days.. especially from the youth brigade. and was generally surfing net and found some cool articles - explaining exactly such topics.

so here are those links.

http://nirmukta.com/2010/01/14/reincarnation-rebirth-and-past-life-regression-therapy-in-india/

http://nirmukta.com/2010/01/21/review-the-god-market-how-globalization-is-making-india-more-hindu-by-meera-nanda/

http://nirmukta.com/2010/07/07/misunderstanding-freedom-of-speech-in-india-case-studies-islamist-zakir-naik-maoist-rebels-film-actress-kushboo-artist-mf-hussain/

http://nirmukta.com/2010/04/20/freeing-devi-a-pragmatist-argument-for-gender-equality-in-the-freethought-movement-in-india/

ofcourse, if you dont have time to read such stuff - you can just watch part-2 of kumar and harold go to white castle.. there are some other movies too, kinsey (2004), shortbus (2006), i can't think straight (2008) - which explore hithero taboo aspects of human mind. maybe faith & sexuality are topics not to be discussed at all, when there's weather. but global warming can be a potential disaster as well, as a conversation starter ;)

tribal sports event

A tribal village, which i was able to visit had a lot to tell.
This small tribal village consisting of 8 families took up the challenge of organizing annual sports meet of about 100 villages from that area.

There are 2 other tribal villages villages nearby, with about altogether 50 families in them, who also helped this village to host this event. So in total 58 families are handling sportsmen/women from about 100 villages. there are about 80 teams of volleyball players (each team has at least 6 players), and there are kabaddi & kho-kho teams consisting of women.

A gathering of 700-900 people, how does just 3 villages, consisting of 58 families manage all the organizing and stay of so many people for 2-3 days during this sports meet?

Of course, their preparations had started early. They had collected rs. 100 from each family for expenses of this event. Rice & vegetables were donated by each family. Of course, all the tribal visitors (sports people) also brought in rice & vegetables etc. Which is their custom, and a very logical one in tribal forest areas where resources are not as plenty as in metro cities.

The villagers also had cleared a large area of field and worked together since months to grow vegetables etc. Which would be used during the 2-3 days of the event.

Prior to the event, these 3 village people decorated an open area, where volleyball court, another smaller but similar court for ring throwing, practide areas, ceremony area, small huts where guests can be seated, and a special shelter where tribal everyday artifacts were displayed. Every decoration was made from locally available material, such as bamboo, leaves, chaff, and colored with plant dyes. Even the bouquets given to guests were made from bamboo and local flowers stuck it.

Where would such cooperative work be seen in India except in tribal areas these days? How many families in a same locality would be willing to give up their meagre resources & human-power to host such an event? How many more years would such tribal villages exist? How long would it be before the CWG (common wealth games, which was a corrupt chaotic event in 2010 in India) style management virus will infect such sincere contributions for the community???

should tobacco be banned?

WHO estimates there are 1.1 billion smokers in the world. Now whether this number includes smokeless tobacco users is something i am trying to find. In developing countries poor people tend to chew tobacco, as its cheaper. Tobacco consumption is decreasing in developed countries and increasing in developing (poorer) countries.

Stats also show that More than 4 million people die each year from smoking related diseases. About half of all long-term smokers die of tobacco-related illnesses, and even more sadly, half of those die in middle age.

Many countries, especially developed countries like Canada, Australia shocking warnings are compulsory on tobacco products (such as, "tobacco is more addictive than heroin", "smoking when pregnant harms your baby")... but even such countries dont dare to ban tobacco products.

why? are they scared that banning tobacco would be bad for economy?
-the land used currently for tobacco farming could be easily utilized for another
eatable crop.
-since tobacco drains out the nutrient chemicals on farmland in larger quantities
than other crops, fertilizers are compulsory for tobacco farming, thus by
quitting tobacco farming, we would actually save our soil.

the people who will lose their jobs, if tobacco industry goes kaput... is a considerable problem initially.
similarly when tobacco is banned, productivity would go up (as people would be more healthy, and there would be less breaks), some more people could end up jobless.. but then VCR (video) cassette stores went out of business, and other such transitions which happen, the market would absorb these unemployed over the years.

the money saved on tobacco related ill health and its cost could be easily utilized to rehabilitate tobacco farmers & unemployed people for these few transitory years.

of course, even if all this doesn't convince the economic loss due to banning tobacco, you cant put money over life of over a million people every year...
the biggest killer of civilized world needs to be dealt with now!

search ongoing

i had been taking time off from work to do some serious self exploration, without bothering about earning money, career, cautionary advice from friends, acquaintances and general world rules etc.

after few months of such search and wandering hundreds of kilometers, i came across this quote,
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"
by MK Gandhi.

of course, several interpretations, angles of this quote will be out there; for me it was an eye opener about my past exploratory ideals. to find myself, i had tried to distance get away from my earlier identities (basically my educational degrees, profession etc), and been checking whether i can practice "all types of work has dignity".. in a way check my ego.
if i was able to serve others is something i dont know. but i feel some kind of pattern is emerging and some positive sense & direction is emerging. so gonna keep writing more.

started...

started... a new beginning.. excitement, and ideas flowing in.
cya all laters.

start of a new path. feel its the holy grail. What all to do to excel at such a golden opportunity?
There would be some thumb rules, simple everyday reminders to be efficient. Will search.
How many of us go thru such a situation? Continuous and long term implementation is not easy, but worth striving for.
- wud daily blogging help? Maybe am sounding too geeky now.

posting from mobile or handfone 4 the 1st time. Net accessibility 24/7 is making me change in so many ways. Soon 3g wil make it faster.
Attending a wedding of a family member, and stuck how true 'arguementative indian' holds true.
How do you spend your time? How much of it is spent on un-necessary chatter seem worthwhile to calculate.

a shocking suicide

just heard about a friend and old colleague's suicide yesterday...
she was just in her late 20's...

made me remember about a poster we had created for a mental health exhibition a decade ago... to create awareness about suicide.

it was a blank poster, with just a line below
all the people who came for that exhibition would curiously check that line below, since a blank poster doesn't make sense..
that line was, "the artist who was supposed to paint here committed suicide... what a waste".
...........it may sound bit insensitive... but the idea was to give a shocking input about what a suicidal impulse can do, and how important availability of mental health services are.

right now, after hearing about this suicide, typical questions arise, 'why did she do such an extreme step? how could she do such a thing? etc. etc.

she was a wonderful human being, and may her rest in peace.

beginning of a new era?

had been discussing about how rapid social changes are going tobe in the next decade. i foresee the 2010-2020 to be going thru as rapid a social/moral changes all over the world, as the 1990-2010 period had been.

in here, i see the fasttrack watch adverts (where break up and move on is shown as just another fun thing to do), ND Tiwari scandal (these things are done by even governors/octogenarians!), and many more to come..
happy new decade anyway ;)

what's the difference between these two

What's the difference between these two pictures?





maybe 10,000 more people are seen the 'babri masjid' destruction photo.
ultimately shouldn't both be seen as terrorist, anti-humane activities?
shouldn't these questions be asked to conscience? (these pics are just examples, used to drive home a point).

2 themes:

themes are to think about... something to think about. here are 2 of them.

A1) if 2 ppl / 2 grps meet.. and one is propogating peace and non-violence, and the other propagates violence and control, then guess who will win? - if the violent person/group attacks, the peace loving group/person will have to do something to defend themselves.. right? Thus making them part of the 2nd grp/violent grp.. right?

A2) suppose there is a situation – like its shown in a movie.
A hero is accused of something. Something like a financial crime/fraud… but his intentions are good – he’s trying to bring about a positive change in society thru that.. (or he could be shown as suffering from childhood abuse… or he’s angry and had very negative experiences, unfairly dealt with by system/corrupt politicians, and he’s aggressively responding to that..
There are supporting actors.. like hero’s girl friend… who decides to stick with him (because she loves him deeply, or for another reason – she is scared of independency, and wants to cling on to him, or becoz she sees competition in a pretty girl colleague of the hero…
There’s another colleague who dispite everyone against the hero, goes on to support the hero… (again, becoz, he’s a good guy, or he’s a really bad guy – who wants to nail the hero, so he wants the hero to admit/plead guilty… or becoz his daughter is kidnapped by a criminal boss, who orders him to make the hero look bad…
There’s another colleague, who’s arch enemy of the hero… becoz, he is jealous and hates him.. or becoz he’s just pure evil, and wants to control everything, or becoz the hero’s father is an escaped Nazi, who got settled in usa with an assumed name and nationality – other than german… and enemy of hero is son of a Jew who was killed by hero’s father (well, its very filmy, and seem far fetched… I did that to drive the point home v. strongly).

… I added the reasons behind every characters actions into different things – to show that its not actions, but the intentions behind them that makes something or somebody noble or evil…
Its easy to see through, if you remember just some stories you’ve read, or some movies you’ve seen..
In our real life, things are much more complicated becoz we have no real idea about the real intentions of people around us… so its not easy to judge and label ppl into good/bad categories within seconds.. movies and TV let us do that.. so we get hooked on to them… hooked on to that un-real world, even tho we criticize the artificiality of those shows/media/movies…