57) Wave

57) Wave
An endless embrace, my flower;
You said it with a smile, a wave,
And I said, goodbye to the
Distance within me,
Love’s language is strange
To everyone its own,
But everywhere incomplete;

Evening breeze in vain
Tries to feel its tenderness,
Sugar drowns in itself in its sweetness,
Even nature succeeds to show
Only miserably, its symbols,
My heart, what can I say.

Winter, summer, rain becomes spring,
Spread mellowed light;
Without any answers stops the search,
And impossible is within reach,
Infinity just a step away,
Lingers on love cloud, Lingers on…

56) War

56) War
His half naked body shivering,
From chin, tear drops falling,
His broken left arm on a sling,
He stood there sobbing,
In front of a thousand snow white crosses,
Planted on top of
Bright green grass,
And buried underneath,
Countless bodies.

A pretty picture,
It makes from far away,
Where you can’t hear him cry.

His cowardice thoughts,
Slowly turn to oath,
To revenge the sleeping martyrs,
And, lends him a purpose to live again.

‘O’ Great War,
I thank thee,
Thou have saved a life.

55) Village temple

55) Village temple
Rain when it came,
Like the priest at the
Village temple,
Bathed the stone deity and
Stone paved pathways,
Constantly with drops of water
With the help of roof tiles,
Who shrank into themselves,
Left gaps in their relations.

The stone walls,
Smeared with grease and black dust
Of burning lamps on ghee*,
Poured by devotees to cleanse
Their sins; Rise from the
Nearby pond, in semi wet clothes
Lips busily chanting,
Symbolizing piousness externally,
Stare at the deity
With folded hands,
Sometimes along with children,
Who look up frequently,
To time exactly, the period of devotion.

54) Untitled

54) Untitled
Here we are, sitting
With our back to the world
Placid, songs of outcasts
Decaying, hang around.

The orange sun dies,
Along with it,
Extinguished the fire
Of love, in my heart;

Helplessly watch, alienated
Bewildered, why tears fall
When ends the burning, painting
My body like clouds, colorful.

Shared grief, swell up
We await, dark brooding
Night, to cover sorrows
Before arises hopes and morning.

53) Traveler’s tenor

53) Traveler’s tenor
Through the dusty window I noticed,
A magnificent Banyan in
Brown, baked fields,
A green monolith in the midst
Of tiny wandering sheep.

A once forgotten melody
Blending with incessant noise,
Making a strange harmony,
Broken by traveling singers
Who sing for money.

Traveling time and again,
To return from the usual routine,
I looked up to reach,
An unfathomable horizon,
Dotted with trees trying to measure.

Strange signals where I stop,
Ponder on a forlorn thought,
Lights dim and darkness descends,
Occasional whistles pierce through,
Jilting the reflections of night.

52) Trap

52) Trap
Oh! Unapproachable beauty,
Look at you, I only from far away,
I don’t want to come near,
Such ecstasy, I won’t be able to bear.

You move around your friends,
Like a glow in darkness,
Oh! The way you smile,
I can watch it all my life.

But when you walk past me,
Without even looking once,
Can’t hold on any longer,
Do I need to tell any further.

Don’t make me fall on my knees,
Girl, just look at my eyes,
Reflects it a longing unmeasurable..
“No”?? …

Well, but my age being impressionable,
Forgive my (maybe an) infatuation,
Oh, don’t worry, it’s already broken,
And no hard feelings and goodbye;
Hope it works on the next one I try.

51) Teen Love song

51) Teen Love song
Maybe the stars didn’t shine
In my eyes,
May be the bells didn’t ring
In your ears,
When I said it, but it’s true…
So stop fooling around,
Listen to your heart,
Don’t play hard to get,
I’ll not come again to plead,
And say those three words that make
Life a never ending song…

We could be now having fun,
You know it really well,
Together while the moon shine,
All you have to do is me; call,
So baby, don’t think,
Just come along,
Why bother about those three words
When Life’s already a never ending song…

50) Swing

50) Swing
A twinkle in her eyes,
A sweet song in her lips,
Comes she near,
Her footsteps I can hear.

In a white night gown,
Her pale hands reach for me,
Hit by her hips,
My cradle swings,
Her longs chains,
Tickle my chest:
Then, I wake up,
Trying to touch her…
Why do it happen only in dreams,
Why don’t I hear a lullaby,
Which rhyme.

49) Sun or Moon ?

49) Sun or Moon ?
I see her, the full moon,
After long gaps of days, barren;
Between black clouds,
Usually in furtive glances.

Remain she distant, even
In my imagination,
With desperate telepathy,
Insolent stare
And transfixed thoughts,
I follow her.

Rare connections like waves hit,
Take me to a curious height,
And like a plant, I bloom,
Crane towards her; the sun,
a little;
Always a little,
Afraid of getting burnt; End.

Last night in my dream she appeared,
Standing alone in a boat,
In the middle of my river.

Her hair flew with the sail,
Silvery water and moonbeams
Threw spotlights around her,
Pairs of eyes peered,
The wave crests eerily gleamed.

She morphed to silhouette gray,
My incomplete half, the womanhood;
Then anchors broke, boats loosened,
And drove toward her.

She became a vision within a vision,
A philosopher’s gate;
Is she the medium?
Asked the thinker’s statue
And crumpled, from its stone innards,
Veins reached to caress,
In love of that beautiful medium,
But the rational waters drowned it,
Along with discoloring blood;
Ah, flow of passion never ends.

48) Society

48) Society
Hiding my real self,
I conformed to the norms,
But got tired of pretension,
And afraid of an explosion.
Apes everyone their ancestors,
I never understood, why?
And act we indifferent –
To our inner-self all the time?

Why do we wear various masks
And complicate every matter?
Why cling on to a society
Which constricts individuality
And kills creativity?
To find out the answers,
Like the others ahead of me,
Shut I myself in society;
Saw that everybody around me,
Had grown accordingly -
To the proportions of their prisons.

With glee, told they me,
Till the end of sane life,
Will remain you closed in,
Only companionship can console,
So to trap the innocents in,
Suffer with a smile, and
You’ll be a success story.
Still fought I to avoid,
Suffering the pangs of guilt,
And the confinement of those
Who follow us in blind faith.

So tried I to deviate,
And break the archaic walls,
With my fiery ideas,
But failures and complete isolation
Had me finally broken.

Painted I have now in my face,
The smug look of satisfaction;
But carry around I still, hope
And seeds of discontention.

47) slave

South India wave
Hindi movies can be one of the indicators of popular culture, though pan Indian trends are never easy to predict (is there a pan india anyway? How many ppl knew about 92 day blockade in Manipur, how many Indian states an Indian has even travelled?).

But lets get back to south india and hindi movies. Recently 2 movies which heated up the multiplexes are ra.one and mujhse fraaandship karoge, and in ra.one SRK is a southie, and the movie MFK hit song dheaon dheaon has a southie music director and a total southie tilt... what say Macha?

I can remember, some decades ago, in hindi movies, south Indianisms were absolute no no. But i guess now overall attitude of the youngsters is, anything goes, and reduced regionalism. Maybe india itself is getting Indianized (as in globalized), and whatever catches your fancy is ok to take into your coolness quotient seem to be the new mantra.

Its the beginning of such a trend is my take, and many people wont even be aware of something like this happening today. Only time will tell, which way the wind is blowing...

Apart from psycho-babble, MFK rocks yaar... lots of old morals are blown in the air, without even a shrug... suddenly feelings are talking...
End of story one.

..and open up one secret of yours at a time.. its liberating.. let the world know its ok to let go... they can do it too ;)

back to old stuff:
47) Slave
Lead a lonely life,
Inside a cocoon, but in peace.
Called everyone, crazy,
Cared naught for rules or rulers,
Lived my dream;
Only to wake, Painfully realize,
Fighting inside, Many Me’s,
More despicable, more bloody,
And more tightly,
Binding me in slavery.
Mass of bone and muscles,
A storing machine,
Labyrinth of emotions,
Which one is real me?
I’ll have to find out first, To be free.

46) Silence

Like a window's tears,
It transformed,
When her child disappeared
And even the silence of
Aloneness started asking,
Like a suicidal shadow,
“Who are you crying for”?
Its not who, but what …
Said the English teacher,
She switched off the lights,
Trying to extinguish.

Sun rays straightened up,
Reflected on shattered
Glass pieces,
Symbols of yesterday’s dance,
And like an abstract art piece
They formed, to scream,
“Are you crying for lost motherhood”?
She just closed the curtains,
And darkened the faces
Of those glass pieces,
Till they became stained in red.

45 Sermon

decided to mix up a bit. first of all, had a very quiet Diwali in India ;) and visited a rural area, which is the border of 2 states, Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh. funny thing is, both these areas are trying to separate and form another state. Telangana part, which may happen soon, and Vidarbha part which is not so well known, and may take time. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vidarbha)

was watching TV about Diwali celebrations from this vidarbha part, on various Marathi language TV channels, and there was almost no news or even mention of anything happening from Vidarbha side at all.

really can't imagine, how vidarbha ppl tolerate this... most dont even seem to be aware of such a partisan treatment.

anyway, back to old style.. here goes..
45) Sermon
Search not for peace of mind,
Sit back and see the world around;
Forget yourself for a while,
Share somebody’s sorrow for a change.

Give sympathy to a wounded heart,
Let a sinner, a new life, start;
Show mercy to a fallen down man,
Aid any unfortunate friend in pain.

Return some kindness to mother nature,
She will rear tomorrow’s children.
Hesitate not, to solemnly promise her,
Rage we won’t ever on her soil, another war.

Just sacrifice some of your pleasures,
To keep earth livable for coming generations,
Pray not for forgiveness to some God,
Both hell and heaven are here in this world.

To repent all your wrong doings,
And to make your life a huge success,
Send the poet, what you can liberally,
And all your sins will be, forgiven finally.

Street play: Misconceptions about Mental Illnesses

Street play: Misconceptions about Mental Illnesses

(About 6-7 actors are the minimum need, and up to 10 actors can take part as it is flexible.)

Props: about 10 placards. 9 of them needed to be tied at two ends with a thread, or if more elaborate work can be done, then they can be stuck to caps or some head gear. In big lettering they should be written:
1) Pollution,
2) Infection
3) Food poisoning
4) Pickpocket
5) Angry boss
6) Death
7) Typhoid or cancer
8) Mad
9) Recovered mad
10) This will continue

SCENE - 1:
A director is doing his job, setting up a scene of a mental hospital. He is frantically running around, yelling at his actors and actresses to yell out more loudly, attack each other, laugh loudly and cry together, move body more etc. There are a few actors who are trying to look and behave like inmates of a mental hospital from a typical Hindi film. (The attempt is to make the mentally ill people look like they are a mix between insane and intellectually retarded people, who do stupid things, which is supposed to make audience laugh).

The clapboard is closed to indicate the scene has started, and then there is mayhem and chaos. Somebody is crying out loudly and laughing, a doctor is running around giving direct shock from broken wire and hitting people with a big hammer, somebody runs around to attack the audience. Suddenly a guy from outside walks in and the director yells, “cut, cut”.

The guy: (Who just walked in) What’s all this?
Director: We are shooting a mental hospital scene.
Guy: But hey, have you ever been to a mental hospital, seen the inside of a mental hospital?
Director: No, never, I didn’t have to… haha… haha

Guy: Hey, this is not a laughing matter, how can you show all these people about a mental hospital if you have not even bothered to find how it is?, and I don’t understand, even educated people like you (fingering audience) laugh when somebody is insulting your intelligence like this?? (the audience who were having fun till now, quiet down as they realize they had not thought of it earlier).

Director: hey, you got a point there, how does a mental hospital look?
Guy: let’s go to one, and let me show you all.

SCENE - 2:
Scene of a mental hospital as it usually looks in most parts of the world. It is more like any ordinary hospital for physiological diseases. There are a few people going on about their business, some are lost in their own world. Some are doing meaningful work. The doctor is treating people in a humane way. One of the guys is seen as being discharged as he has recovered and moving out. Other inmates wish him luck just in the normal way. The director is walking around observing all this and he claps his hands with other inmates when they clap to give the recovered patient a warm goodbye. Claps and claps.

SCENE - 3:
At the two ends of stage two people are standing. A voice over comes and introduces them. Then guy-1 starts walking forward and is seen walking ahead all the time. Suddenly he closes his nose as if he has neared a smelly place. A person wearing the board pollution runs out to the stage and runs around guy-1 and disappears. Guy-1 gets a bit tired and droops, but within a few seconds straightens up and walks back normally.

Then guy-2 walks ahead, towards him a guy with board of pick-pocket runs and circles and disappears. The guy-2 after few seconds searches and finds his loss and droops for some seconds, then shrugs off and walks back normally. Similarly for guy-1 food poisoning comes and for guy-2 it is firing from his boss, and in the third round, infection through mosquito for guy-1 and death of a close person for guy-2. All three times they recover after momentary affect.

Then in the fourth round for guy-1 all three things come together and dance around him and he falls down, and when the dancers disappear he is wearing a board - typhoid. And for guy-2 all three things dance and he also falls down and is seen wearing a board MAD.

Voice over: when our body is imbalanced it shows symptoms - sometimes they are psychological symptoms and sometimes they are physiological and sometime a mixed effect. The person is not responsible for it totally in either case.

SCENE - 4:
again guy-1 and guy-2 are standing at 2 ends, guy-1 is cared by his family, but guy-2 with MAD as the board on him is kicked out and people are pushing him, laughing at him, kids throw stones at him etc. guy-1 recovers quickly, puts on the board on recovered from typhoid and is welcomed by his colleagues and relatives. Guy-2 is put in mental hospital and recovers slowly alone and is put on the board of recovered MAD.

When guy-2 returns home, a small kid runs to welcome him, but other older members restrain her and tells him to get lost, and that once MAD means always MAD. Onlookers also nod their heads to agree and laugh at the recovered mad guy-2 and push him away, kids throw stones at him, and everyone dance madly around him. When they go back, the guy-2 is put the board of MAD and he is lying down on the floor in pain.

Voice over: “discrimination done between a physiological and a mental disease is due to ignorance, nobody can change the chemical changes that happens in their brain just like nobody can kill cancer cells on their own. Both are diseases and these people need help and co-operation from outside world”.

SCENE - 5:
One guy comes in front and tells the audience that to help people in distress and improve our society we need unity, if we stand together we can overcome problems. Another actor then walks in and says we need mass education, and that knowledge is the key for a better future. The first guy is looking in astonishment when a third actor comes and says we need sympathy for others and peace in our heart and the world will become a paradise.

The two others push the third away and a fourth comes and says we need to have faith and belief, and only God can help us sinners, and fifth and sixth one come together and start saying technological advances are what we need to concentrate and sixth one yells justice and equality should be enforced and their is a pushing match and these people start yelling and hitting each other and mayhem and chaos reigns. One guy with a big placard written, “THIS WILL CONTINUE”, walks around the fighting people as the curtain falls. (To signify, good intentions also require team work and systematic efforts to reach fruitful stage, this is the punch line or twist at the end).

[This street-play won 2nd prize in Bombay Univ. annual fest. in ’97. Written and directed by Venky Iyer, Actors: Shashank, Deepa, Vidya, Indrayani, Atish, Venky (MA Psycho) & Abhijit and Samir]

mental health care ?

...mental health remains a neglected area world over, and more so in undeveloped countries... but for me a favorite area. why so? that i am still trying to figure out.

anyway, there are some encouraging happenings at WHO, such as 'no health without mental health', and increased pressure to make mental health aspects part of of global health etc are occurring.

a book "donde no hey doctor", (where there is no doctor), had become a champion of poor/undeveloped parts of the world - for their health/doctor needs - similarly another book, 'where there is no psychiatrist" has come out, which is a promising sign.

though when i see people putting in lots of efforts to achieve / succeed BUT neglect mental health aspects such as not managing their stress and thus dig their own grave, i can't help but feel confused. many such people achieved a lot, but somehow are unable to prioritize their mental health needs appropriately.

a very good example i can think of right now is, students who are slogging to get good marks / grades in their exams. a common complaint they have or their close one's have is - he/she is good student but gets too stressed. but when stress management inputs are given, these students often tend to neglect practicing it... which is very similar to what adults do too - they complain of stress, even have fatal health problems like heart diseases or BP etc... but still start neglecting their mental health within no time of their treatment.

addictions are another aspect of health - and deaddiction (addiction treatment) falls under mental health area. tobacco addiction even though being shown to be a major killer (the biggest stoppable cause of death among humans now) is very neglected thing - and in a very 'cutting-the-branch-you-are-sitting' manner, governments tend to focus on economic benefits (short term) from tobacco industry instead.

maybe 'military intelligence' is not oxymoron, its mental-health care ;)

p.s. managing emotions is taken for granted... because its invisible. managing concrete resources, materials which are visible gets preference and priority... so everyone runs after those management courses... the funny thing is, even when it affects our self, it remains a joke.

a friend told me, 1 million smokers quit every year... (by dying)... there are 1 million (official figure) people committing suicide as well... thus they manage their mental health problem?

23) Inner beauty

23) Inner beauty

 You are a shell, 

yet unopened

 Hiding inside a pearl,

 yet coarsely covered.

 You are a butterfly, 

yet to wake 

Sleeping in a cocoon, 

yet to break. 

Youu are a cloud,

 yet to rain 

Enough to green a desert, 

yet in pain. 

You are a rock, 

yet not dry

 Blemished by nature, 

yet never cry.

 You are a peacock, 

yet never dance 

With thousand eyes, 

yet never given a glance.

 Your are a rainbow, 

yet to form 

Queen of the skies, 

 yet slave to storm. 

Youu are a poem,

 read to the end 

Written from the heart, 

yet never understood.

44) Rigidity

44) Rigidity
Divided strictly
From twenty four hours,
A day or night,

A category, either
Citizen or alien,

A gender, either
Male or female,

A status, either
Successful or failure,

A life, either
Death or an unknown,

A judgement, either
Right or wrong,

A state of mind, either
Crazy or sane,

A prison, invisible
Real or illusory…

43) Ride

There’s a road,
You are a woman and I a man,
Let’s ride without a map;
If love doesn’t blossom on the way
In the nearest town, let’s part.
The world’s wild and
We are still young.

Missed chances and regrets
Catch up fast,
In the highway of life,
Let’s not stop.

When you see the withered,
Old hitchhikers thumb,
Sit down on the dusty mud;
Write letters about past
And watch the new ones whiz by,
Smile contemptuously, if anyone stops,
Your best trip is yet to begin, but alone.

42) Return

42) Return
A protruding step
Made me fall,
Inside my school.

I walked away
Dusting my pants,
But leaving
Misshapen designs,
Printed on the mud.

On its long corridors,
Uniformly built,
On yawning arches,
I ran my fingers over
Felt cold stone
And scratches.

Pieces of papers, floated,
Murky desks, darkened,
A broken pencil
On the floor, rolled.

In my hand the last
Page of notebook,
Fluttered toward the
Trail of pages;
His friends.

Crumpling the impulse to turn,
Walked ahead with new hope,
To detect signs of life,
At least here
In it’s abandoned loneliness;

Outside the gate,
Doorkeeper trees,
Waved to me again.

aping

on the busy and throbbing city streets, post office hours rush (after 730 am to 1030am), the crowd around begin to include many students - school and college students. school kids in uniforms, and college kids in multi-colored style statements.

one distinct trend i could see among college kids is - there are many guys, who seem to fashion themselves like japanese pop singers..
the look can be described in my rudimentary observation goes like this...

hair streaked in light blond strands, & cut at un-even length, straightened and even made to look thin and long.. (guess its called 'mullet' hair style or so)
canvas shoes, and tight jeans, with narrow bottoms (which make those canvas shoes look too big for their feet),
tight check shirts, with some chain / lace like accessories tied into those shirt/top..
and one or more tattoo visible somehow thru all that clothing, and
add an eye brow piercing or at lip....

i mean, its not just male jap pop singer look, many chinese, korean (east asian) guys go for that look...
it kinda seems odd to see similar look aped in India... or a major indian city...

also, there seem to be some effort put into become thin to be in this style, as well as attempt to appear feminine, or use of facial creams and such stuff to have a glistening look...

of couse, disclaimer... i am not judging or being discriminatory, i mean, there's an article 377 already - approved by supreme court of india...
and as a democracy, everyone has right to dress & look the way they want...

just trying to observe and understand a new trend.. thats all..

when it comes to aping, though what seemed ludicrous was, the trend to copy african american coolness, gangsta rap walk/talk and dancing hip-hop style by east asians... the chinese people especially - that takes the cake... its like, many of these chinese seem very disciplined, robotically rigid - and then such a person tries to imitate 'i am cool like dat' spirit - that too thru loose limbed dancing style with 'motha load of attitude'...

beat that brotha?
but maybe tamilians trying to carry this same african american hepness... might actually do that...

guess i have been in my so called attempt to understand 'individual & society' through this blogs have been politically totally incorrect enough..
so let me get into safer topics now.. let me write about parenting... ;)

who are we?

we human beings, have tendency to ponder over these 2 things -
1) who are we (as species, living beings, over lords of earth the planet) &
2) who am i (what's my purpose in life, how should i live, what's i)

of course, these pondering's lead to a lot of other queries and explorations.

one way to deal with it is by looking at ourselves (humans) as one of the species, just like other animals etc.. like zoology does. (books by desmond morris, even though like half century old, still seem relevant reference material).

other explanations may have spiritual leanings, inclusion of all mighty entity/ties, cosmic energy etc.

but overall, as we tend to become city dwellers more and more, our need to keep ourselves busy (thru entertainment) seem to increase..

keeping ourselves distracted seem to be the goal of life in itself.. just look around and see the impact of visual media, moving pictures on us (TV, Movies, youtube etc), and written material as well such as books, internet...

people seem to work to earn money, so that they can afford to be entertained, visit places that they see on videos, read on books, watch sports, etc. etc.
the entertainment avenues seem to become more passive as well.. where few people play (sports) and few million watch it, discuss it, and relive it...

anyway, maybe that's a part of our genetic makeup.. we live because we have to, and to occupy our living time, we have to find things to do, and thus we make complex rules and create a big game of city life... or urban life.. or something like that.

how long will it be before, food will be made by machines, and humans will be living through virtual worlds - connected through www?
it may seem scary, but just try to figure - the amount of time you spend in a day - watching moving pictures, watching non-moving pictures and reading...

way to go.. homosapiens.. ;)

41) Relations

41) Relations
Neighborhood cat came,
Whenever got hurt, needed
Hot milk and soothing words;
In some seasons, weeks passed,
Without it’s paw’s
Scratching neurotically clean
Tiles, but when they met
Like old friends, sat close
Together, but one silent;
Maybe the cat had a sore throat.

One stormy night,
The cat came, for the first time
Thoroughly wet and with a touch
Of terror in his eyes,
She welcomed with a towel,
Noticed on his white wet fur,
A streak of red, stifling sobs;
Nursed, but it was an endless
Night for him, she wept
Afterwards, at loneliness.

40) Regression

40) Regression
The warmth of your hands,
The pitch of your voice,
I try to remember,
Mother, it hurts.

Your understanding smile,
Your comforting lap,
I miss, I cry, still
Mother, it hurts.

A woman, her care
And selfless love,
I forever search,
Mother, it hurts.

In every woman, I try
To find you, but impurity,
It scares me,
Mother, it hurts.

An unknown child wakes in me,
Don’t be away, hold me tight,
Make him sleep,
Mother, he hurts.

39) Pretensions

39) Pretensions
When a cat jumped,
Fell pieces of ivory tower,
Crashed on the footpath,
Down below.

With it fell,
Centuries old dirt,
Kept deep hidden,
Beneath the façade,
At heights which pain the neck,
To sight it.

Beggars slept on,
Rolled in old sacks,
Pedestrians looked up,
Only to make sure
If it was workers
Or just wind.

Two heavily carved iron gates,
Separated from it’s gratings,
Stood stiff, between loosened tiles.
Windows, somehow made
Dirty from inside,
Blocks sunlight,
Which exposes
The cracks in the wall
And hides the color
Faded by the rain, to the brink.

38) Planet - X

38) Planet - X
Without a sting, it enters,
Slowly and slowly it spreads,
So, late come realization,
After gone deep inside, ideologies.

Like eyes, deaf to the cries
Of dry cheeks, to shed tears,
The minds, act numbed,
To the yearning, to be freed.

Marked by long held rotten breath,
From every where in the fear encircled path,
Reflect the stoic faces of ruler,
The craving for reassurance, like mirror.

Living in perfect harmony, it’s called,
In an Utopian world.
But all of them meaningless words,
Just like my name and yours.