emotions...

Does emotions cause pain and hurt? ... On their own? Don’t we interpret them according to our wants (or needs)...

Its like, I don’t want to be angry becoz I might do something aggressive, which might disrupt my goals, or

I don’t want to be depressed; becoz then my schedule will be delayed, as I won’t be able to finish before my deadline... or things like that? (Don’t the emotions basically take away our time we have set for ourselves, rather than anything else?

Its also the cyclic propulsion which the emotions can create - makes us fearful of them.. i.e. if I am feeling depressed, then my actions tend to be passive or inactive, which in turn leads to further hopelessness and helplessness... and becomes a vicious cycle...

This also makes us feel we lose all control over ourselves and that emotions take over us... (Our thinking also gets influenced by the state of emotion we are in... we I can’t think straight, when we are in intense emotional turmoil).

But if we have awareness of the emotion, and can observe their affect on us, as a third person (not completely as a third person, but with some attachment), then can we manage emotions? Does it lead to derealization or depersonalization… where integrity of the ‘self’ gets challenged?

These emotional states, in their different forms, in their different shades are also required for us to deal with everyday life situations.

For example, if i am forced to stay inactive (even though i am feeling very energetic and excited), then i will tend to feel frustrated, and which will lead to helpless and hopeless feeling (an example can be, when you are excited, but you are on a bus, or a long train ride, with nothing much to do).

The helpless feeling which we feel then, downs our energy, and takes us to a mild depressed state, which helps us better to deal with the inactive time period... by making us think and introspect. (So even such a state of emotion can be useful).

faith

Love is faith... And to take that leap of faith, to go into that ‘free-fall’, is not easy, and barriers within the mind needs to be broken to reach that state. (Free fall is what sky divers experience, when they jump from 1000’s of meters above).

It’s similar to faith in god, where that faith allows you to prostrate in obeisance, or kneel with absolute trust, setting aside your ego, giving up yourself… it’s like spiritual and it teaches you to be humble and to face one of our (human) great fear – giving away ourselves, submerging totally into one – one as supreme being in religious context.

Of course making oneself so vulnerable and open like this can lead to pain as well – and in love too the fear of rejection, breakup and the pain that follows is seen as existential crisis. Such a state of feeling insignificant, powerless, angry at letting self be vulnerable, stupid or altogether humiliated is not easy to accept.

But then humbleness is not easy to digest and that’s what we fear of, “what will happen if I am not accepted”? but without such a level of trust, without ‘self’ at stake, we cannot possibly can have acceptance either… whether its love or faith.

But the humbleness make us realize a lot of things, be more aware and open up multitudes of channels, connections, so that you could be more closer or widen comprehension with the world or universe around us… (or maybe its just within us).

This universe is not made of just things or materials, but of emotions, experiences as well and by going through difficult, rare experiences, we mature, become stronger as well.

When will one realize something like this is happening? Some of the symptoms could be:

Willingness to give without conditions, generous to accept another person, care without a care, and accept affection with pleasure and relate without pulling power-strings, but just being.

Did this all happen to me? I am not sure what’s dream and what’s not… and I don’t care to know.

a water color

cool... i had not tried to publish a pic so far in here. so to experiment, i decided to up load one of my water colors.. done long back, which i got scanned recently. its titled village, with some houses, two strange (outside) people walking towards a dilapidated temple or a common structure / building there.

i am forced to draw in an abstract fashion, as i dont have the patience to draw realistically and neatly. But, i guess being able to do such abstract expression is a cool thing as well.

i hope i will feel like up loading some of my cartoon / comic strip type stuff here. Though, i have scanned them, they have to be kept as large files, otherwise the dialogue boxes are tough to read. maybe i should try to draw them on a software and type the dialogues in. i have some ideas for a series of strips... someday maybe?

Fragile

I just don’t get it.. Female’s usually like cute things.. And like small babies and fragile things..
And they really don’t care much about the most fragile thing in the world... the "male ego".
So quoted some guy. Of course, only a guy will say something like that.

But then again... the male – female differences are a reality too… (though I guess I should mention here that, am not saying anything against gender equality, becoz often exposure of such differences is seen as a derogatory thing). So with the disclaimer firmly in there, let me continue ;)

Well, I was watching some movie scenes, and in one, when a disaster strikes, the females in that place act bit differently (not all females will act that way, but in a general way, they have shown some characters who behave in that way).

Anyway, after they overcome the disaster, or a threatening situation, they all hug each other, but in a calmer way than males would have done. Also, they acted less aggressively than males generally would do (or as male’s are shown in movies). But then, there’s the adrenalin as well... maybe it kicks out faster and more in males… which could be one of the reason, along with how they are brought up.

Similarly, I have observed in group settings... such gender differences… girls or women tend to talk more about relationships, care about birthdays… and the fun things that guys consider are more bashful and loud stuff. Females tend to notice and talk about dress designs, jewellary or some such things which often males are unaware about their existence. I guess I am not talking about anything new, and maybe its politically incorrect as well… but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to observe such behavioral differences. (man, I better stop, I am overloaded with cliché’s right now).

Well, but before I leave, a question (as usual), how much reality do movies portray? Doesn’t movies and real life copy from each other? And my guess is that there are lots of movie buffs out there ready to take it on… ;)

alien

Met these 2 ppl from another country... far far away...
Since today evening, one of my friend was having a show of his drama, which is partly based on indian mythology (or Hindu mythology), i was planning to see it. my friend is the writer, director, actor in this play, and had consulted me to talk about the flow of emotions and mythological aspects... I must have felt flattered as well... (ego & fame are addictions... deadly or not is a matter of debate).

Well, these 2 ppl from another country want to check out this Indian (or Marathi) play as well… and so we go.

The play deals with mythological issues, and how reincarnation and blind belief’s are so prevalent among the population (especially in India)… many of the dialogues are between a husband and a wife.

I was trying to see the play from the point of view of these 2 ppl from another country… and then it struck me that, the scenes between husband and wife depict the wife in a submissive role, from another cultural view point, where gender equality is more common. From an Indian viewpoint, I would have noticed it at all. Its like a natural flow or natural happening from an Indian setting. How many others could see this inequality which was hidden at a subliminal level behind the protruding blind faith images? I couldn’t figure that out.

I had a long chat with these two ppl from outside my country… Many insights about my own reflexive actions and beliefs deriving from my Asian origin (in general) flashed in front of my eyes. Things which I take for granted, without bothering to think or analyze from another cultural view point.

Gender inequality, obsession with sex and purity, traditional blinders, social-cultural conditioning and many many more concepts… how may of us even get a chance to think about them?

Thanks friends... Swedes by the way… and we could also talk about the stereotypes about Swedes in general prevalent all over the world, and how they could have formed were also part of discussion.

Even though I like to claim that I am a global citizen, I realized how difficult it is to go and think beyond your regional (state/country) identity… as well as your gender identity… and so many more segregations and segmentations. Sometimes humans behave so irrationally and illogically, that it has to be viewed in a humorous way otherwise it may become too painful. Like, how many feel that they are aliens in their own culture or country? How many feel that they are persecuted minority? And is there ever a majority? Aren’t we all in some way or another a minority… and persecuted at times? Of course, global understanding maybe a philosopher’s stone (or myth)… but it’s a nice dream.. what do you have to say?

Bye for now…

random thoughts?

Blogs... Its for those people with a need to publish... Shout out at nothingness…

Why cant just play the game without worrying of whether we are winning or losing? Or something like that..

Philosophizing has always been easy.. (for me).

well... wouldn't it be nice, to be like that.. without a care.. just going with the flow?

Trying to make the world a nice place. We remain dreamers.. idealists... But its nice though.. that's true..

Though playing with zest, with jelousy, with vigour to win is also nice... isn't it?

We want to do it in various ways..

The above conversation made me think of a book called 'The diceman' written by a guy called Luke Rhinehart.

A part of it (one page).. was somewhat like this below:
A guy's wish to do everything... win in stockmarket, write a bestseller, do great community work, explore unknown, build big corporate empire, make a great movie, and such stuff.. and then do all these things in various styles... (i.e. carelessly, seriously, like superman, like micky mouse etc. etc)...

But these desires doesn't take him anywhere.. or takes just zaps him all over the goddamn universe without actually anything happening out of it. and as he wants to achieve them all.. so he is unable to do even one of it well... and remains a slave of the social image.. the propogand to be big sucess eats up the free human spirit.

They are social goals... carrots on a stick created by media, society, culture etc. to keep the being on the run, on the race.

The rebellion, or goals which oppose the media images given above... also are in a way product of the same media...

Because, rebellion is the 'anti' of that image.. for example, "I dont want money", or "I dont want to do that".. etc. comments/values/beliefs are are some examples.. they are jsut direct contrasts of it - reactionary rebellions.

But how to break out? break out in a pure form? that's a challenge. Or its a big farce as well.. what is originality ?

Isn't searching for it, itself a big media image of an intellectual? a dreamer?

Is there a way out of this circle? haha.. now the seeker of originality ends up with paranoia as well...

another random thought. Try thinking back about your college / univ. days... or your previous academic year's efforts. How much of it is of actual use? If you try to re-read those books and try to understand or do something on your own, how well do they seem to serve that purpose?

Weren't those academic authorities making you run after false targets by creating false threats? (just like in the military, where obeying a superior officer's commands without questioning them is drummed into the soldier's mind till it becomes almost like an instinct... that obeying seems like the right choice or the only choice?)...

Any random one's from you?

dilbertblog

Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert comic strip) writes fabulous blog. http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/

I wrote this as a reply to his blog (dated 27-1-07), titled, ‘irrational atheists’, and about a 100 comments he had received. So maybe you will have to check out his blog first, before reading this. But even if you don’t, I guess what’s written below will make sense (I hope). This is a topic I have been itching to write, so I decided to blog it as well.

My comments:
First of all, one need not argue about definition of atheism. A-theism formed after theism formed. Just like the term asocial won’t mean anything if there is no society.

Secondly, there is no need to argue against the number 1 trillion, becoz that number is not something provable (I guess Scott pulled it out through his now famous method).

Thirdly, there is no need to prove a god exists or not, because it’s a concept. The belief in god gives us emotional benefits, it doesn’t gives us anything else. (of course, many may not agree to this at all).

The concept of god (a superior being, a father/mother figure) can be understood as part of our survival mechanism. For example, a child after being bullied, runs home with teary eyes – with the belief that his home (and the elders there) will provide security and support he needs. God concept is just an extension of that need, just an extension of that sense of security / hope.

That’s why it’s said that, “there are no atheists in a trench”, the feeling of total helplessness makes us believe in anything which reduces that helpless feeling).

But if we keep our sense of security on a concrete concept (or a living being or a thing), its very likely that within our life time itself, we will see the destruction of that concept… or some weakness, which will (emotional) turmoil – and make us feel un-protected. So we have to base that sense of security on an abstract concept, which cannot be definable, and it has to be all powerful, timeless, and always beyond our comprehension.

The prayer and such meditative techniques also works if we try to focus on such an abstract, incomprehensible concept… becoz we will never understand it fully, and can keep on going till infinity (or endless like a horizon)… there is no fear of reaching an end of that quest.

The atheists are the people who are willing to let go of that security center outside them, becoz they have found it inside themselves. The believers first needs to be emotionally secure enough to leave home, then only they will be able to see outside the box… otherwise, their own mind will keep producing enough proof or reasons for them to stick to their beliefs.

Bertrand Russell once argued back to a creationist, “can you disprove that the whole world / universe was created just 5 minutes ago?” (no point in arguing I have memories of more than that much time, or that you can do carbon testing to show dinosaur bones that exist are millions of years old, becoz they all were created that way just 5 minutes ago).

So in a way it’s a no win situation. But still I try, as I don’t expect a divine intervention ;)

i would recommend Scott's blog. He churns out food for thought everyday, and writes it all with much more humor, and many other spices / masala – which makes him a super word-chef (the old term of word-smith to a writer seems too mechanical). More strength to your pen bud.