And a selected

And a selected melody explodes

Anticipation reveals, ‘It’s her I know’

And the glow spreads along

With peels of sound and light

In that darkened room

Its another innocuous saying,

And a very huggable question,

With a g.n to end it.

An unknown concept floats

It’s thinner than a bubble

Translucent yet incomprehensible

And jumps out of reach

When probing fingers fly

To bring it near, grasp it.

The attempts cease, leaving it

In the hands of fate

And it slowly descends, sways

At breaths length, gently

But teasingly enough…

Sleep returns, the equalizer,

Before questions and morning arise,

The dream part begins to play

Not without a few pop-ups,

And goalless freedom reigns.

Hope, leaves the dreamer,

Without guilt or a backward glance

But with a mental promise

To be there to care during

The next long, realistic day.

To every woman I know

Rivers of self hatred

Blackens the mud,

And flow without aim.

Emotionless clouds

With suffocating stillness,

Hang heavily.

Loveless trees

Keep spreading scorched

Branches, sans leaves.

Winds seem to have become

Introverts, scared,

Rage within self.

You don’t stand a chance,

It not human,

The one you are connecting to.

Let him go,

Here greenery stands no chance,

The desert dies, always.

welfare groups

during a chat with a friend this topic came up (so many insights explode during informal chats with curious friends, but never seem to have time enough for them)...

there are lots of welfare groups (WG), who try to contribute to the society, to bring about equality, care to poor people.  but they follow different isms/ideologies

these people follow different ideologies, but want to achieve similar things, want similar end results...

they may be part of an institution, a religion, political group, fan club, CSR dept, a philosopher, a leader, cult, or any such thing /person who are trying to achieve some social cause...

but, getting them (wg's) to work together can be very difficult.  would a leftist (marxism) and a christian charity group member work together (to provide medical care for underprivileged?) - maybe mother theresa and a Marxism follower did work together in kolkatta/west bengal...  but people belonging to different groups/isms would prefer to work away from each other..

are these wg's similar to religious groups? (religious groups also would be part of wg's, but not vice versa).

different religious groups also want similar end results, but fanatically oppose each other (most of them do).
they are based on myths, figure heads (divine person), blind faith, faith, superstition, and at times plain ridicule.  the wg's also are based on such things...

all they have to do is, go a step beyond...  basic logic will show, why equality and world peace etc are good for us all.  good in the long term, better for the ecology, and so on.  so why not base the need to have such activities / goals on that logic alone?  then wouldn't these ideological chasms be bridged?

look at the human beings as one of the species inhabiting the earth, and thus accept our eccentricities and non-divinity in a realistic way, than trying to make ourselves feel holier and special... might be more useful, practical than following fanatically an ism, person, founder, or ideology might be better.  of course, shifting the source of inspiration (prerana stroth in hindi i guess), to such a logic, realism would be very difficult for most people.  but wouldn't it be worth trying?

psychology of economics ;)

why do we have so many conflicting financial ideologies?
what does economics study? is it how resources/materials are interchanged? or is it all a reflection of human motivation? - and is it the reason for such diverse ideas such as capitalism, communism, socialism and other multiple combos and permus...

basically they reflect the complex mental states of humans and we haven't been able to understand it well to develop a system to manage the motivators and needs etc.

are humans basically individualistic? or social or altruistic or selfish or family or clique based or universal/global? the problem is such a black or white labeling is not enough and each one of us is all of these and change from one state to another...  just one person finds at times agreeing & disagreeing with just one philosophy...

an individual cannot survive alone in this world... but the individual ego or need for self control (self drive/free will) is also huge - thus the system or ideology should be able to incorporate both the sides - need for individual control and cooperation/coexistence with others and put efforts as a team/community/group.

such a system hasn't been developed, as these systems are not been viewed & designed with human being (or their mental processes) in focus.  the economic behavior (or any other specific system's analysis such as government, sports, media etc) are but reflections of the human mental states, rather than separate entities.

what we do is a reflection of our internal processes - but rather than focusing on this internal process, we tend to analyze external behavior - and get obsessed with it, and start seeing it as a separate entity.  of course, i do try to check whether my opinions are self-propagating...  a capitalist would vehemently encourage capitalism, a religious person can be fanatic and for a student of psychology, mental state becomes the one & only center of the world or universe..  so should you, so should we all.

but let me not end with a question hanging.  let me try to explore a bit about solutions as well.  the group, community should be strong for all of us to survive.  individuals should contribute to the larger group, put efforts to cooperate and coexist and be equal...  but these efforts should not stem from force or pressure.   it should happen through individual decision - individual freedom to decide, direct their own energies should not be suppressed.

but the larger picture of being together has to be part of cultural exposure - exceptions be tolerated; and each individual like a child be exposed to the consequences of their decisions and actions.

it is more difficult, but long term.  its not self indulgence - the short cuts and instant gratification.  it changes when insecurity is reduced, which is a part of our mental state. its a tall aim, but worth climbing towards...

White shirt

a white shirt is one of the most simplest ways to beat any fashion trends. i mean, for a guy at least. i recently took out an old white shirt of mine (part of spring cleaning, or seasonal filtering, through which i try to keep my possessions to a minimum, which i can carry in just 2 bags... an eccentric way to be minimalist)..

so, this white shirt, came up, i tried it on...  there was a brown spot near pocket.  i rubbed it, but it seemed like a permanent one.  i was like, oh hell, looks like this shirt seemed to have lived its life of usefulness, wont be able to wear this for formal occasions etc.

then it hit me... why am i declaring this shirt dead? where did this idea that one spot is enough to ruin a cloth came up? and how white is my white shirt? has it lost its sheen? ... and did all these ideas (appearing to be facts) intruded through advertisements?  yes, i could remember repeated ads of washing powders telling me how even a cloth considered as 'white' can be more white and thus better status statement, if i used their powder.

but, wait... they did not come through just ads.  lots of my friends (peer influence) keep telling me so as well. wear this, wear that, and dont wear those... (i can't imagine how much more intrusive family members can be, as even friends can be pushy when it comes to fashion).

actually, it can't be called just as fashion anymore.  it almost seems to be a moral code.  wearing something out of trend can be, 'stupid', 'gross', insensitive', 'shocking', 'vulgar'.. and of course, 'anti-religion'.

why do we judge self and others, so much on the basis of the clothes they wear, the way its stitched, the spots or level of its cleanliness, and so on and on....  i guess 90% of the time, we feel we are not in fashion and only on those occasions, when we have splurged on new clothes, we feel good about our clothes.

the most pathetic thing is, we spread this degrading negativity through our family and friends, without thinking twice.  actually, the problem could be just that... we dont even think twice... just accept whatever we are spoon fed... like this blog ;)

emotional fusion

last Sunday got some free time to view some Hindi movies, and a friend's 500GB hard disk, with both GOW or 'Gangs of Wasseypur 1 & 2', and kya super cool hai hum.  Intuitively felt these days, movies are about making many short  pieces of inspired visuals, and then joining them together as a feature film. but anyways, some of these short clips are brilliant in themselves.

kind of like a joke book, where out of the 100 odd jokes, out of which some you like, hate, enjoy, get confused and if lucky, then may laugh out loud too.

so, can't write the off totally, though the amount of self promotion happening in movies these days beats even TV adverts about their own products such as soaps.  Every movie pays homage to couple of scores of other movies, and they all seem to stand up on each other; somewhat like action comic genre & super powered hero story chains.

anyway, few scenes which i reflected back on.  (the examples given below are from just few scenes, from couple of movies, but it seem to indicate a trend... or something like that ;)

first, from a tamil movie, called Angaditheru.  a critically acclaimed real life film, but as mentioned above, short clips joined together. there is a standout scene - a down and out guy, goes around asking roadside shopkeepers for a job, but is rejected repeatedly.  on his way out, he goes to answer nature's call to nearby urinal and comes out in a hurry holding his nose... its very unclean and smelly... then an idea strikes him, he borrows some basic cleaning equipment and cleans up the urinal (which is a govt. built free for all one).. and then sits outside that urinal and asks for a small fee from anyone who wants to use the urinal.  (of course, its illegal, but no one realize that, and i guess people also would be happy to pay a little to have a clean place). - but this scene is not much connected to the movie plot as such.

in movie, GOW-1 & 2 (gangs of wasseypur), 2 youngsters (named perpendicular and tangent) go to rob a store keeper with guns.... but before going in to the shop, they take off their slippers (footwear), as per the custom.  my mind did a somersault when i saw them taking off their footwear, even though they are going into rob that shop; and i asked myself, 'did they just take off their slippers now?' - maybe the director realized such a fleeting glimpse of taking footwear off wouldn't be enough to hammer that point, so after threatening and robbing up the shopkeeper, the 2 youngsters shout at each other as one of them goes to wear the other's slippers.

- they are willing to break such crucial laws/rules and rob another person, but obey a mere norm of taking off their footwear before going into a shop! (i felt its an apt reflection of Bihar, or India or even the whole of human beings... where oxymorons and contradictions rule, but guess we are like this only!

there are other scenes as well, where, at a shotgun marriage, guys carrying guns stand behind a terrified groom, who when asked by priest, whether he agrees for that marriage, is unable to speak.  the gun-man behind him, says 'yes' (on the grooms behalf), but the priest innocuously insists, "he (the groom) should say that"...
-when its so obvious that rules are broken and the groom is forced at gun point to marry, why insist of minor a technicality that, the groom should say it in his own voice? !!  wonders never cease.

of course, a trade mark of the GOW director, anurag kashyap reflects in many scenes, i.e. emotional fusion. after a shocking shootout, which ends in a funeral scene, a singer belts out 'yaad teri aayegi', a song from the 1970/80's, which is a song about heartbreak/lost love.  it somehow makes sense in a weird way in that funeral scene, but adds tinge of black humor to the grief, shock and sadness of that scene..  an involved viewer would be left to wonder what emotions are he/she is feeling at that moment...

hence the title.... just like mixing of music genre's... whadya think?

gate crasher, woman in red

Everyone seems to be talking about the gate crasher, or the ‘woman in red’ who spoilt Indian teams march in Olympics 2012 opening ceremony (on web).   Olympics have become ultimate media sport… Radio had its limitations to milk tabloid value of happenings; TV did and is improving, but internet & social media really know how to squeeze it. 

Aint the same thing happening in this blog too?  Well, I decided to write about it, only after the 2^nd part occurred… the apology.

Here are 2 links for reference: which gives information on the part 1

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/9437157/Olympic-ceremony-gatecrasher-was-an-Indian-student-who-claims-she-was-told-to-lead-out-her-nation.html

and part 2.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/news/9449492/Mathura-Nagendra-opening-ceremony-gatecrasher-sorry-for-error-of-judgment.html

Try to see, how people from viewed these events…

Of course, many Indians cried foul, some Britishers trivialized the whole news, the father of that girl said, its all a misunderstanding, the girl posted it on her facebook (till she later realized how shameful it all is)…

She initially claimed to have been following orders! And later gave a defensive apology… "It was chaos. A lot of people were around. It was a huge event as we all know."  - Then what about other nations marches? Why weren’t lots of people wandering around with each team?

After giving such statements, she adds.  "I hope this will be forgiven."

What are the chances of that?

Why were so many people upset at this ‘woman in red’, even before this apology?

Some sites pointed out, that because she “Hogged all the attention in the 10 seconds when Indian team were shown on opening ceremony”.   – easily understandable, since this would be the only time most of the 81 person team from India will get any media attention.  But other than that?

Would it be because, it shows utter disregard for the coordination work that she was given, and utilizing it to have fun, even though it was a very selfish thing to do? – could be for lots of people.

Any other reasons? – jealousy could be another; How many people who cried shame would love to do the same thing, given the opportunity?  How many can say NO, and stand their ground, when given keys to a cookie jar?

Maybe lack of color coordination and looking lousy as an eye sore? – What would have happened if this gate crasher was a super model look alike?  - hmm… just trying to guess as many reasons as possible… comment if you think of something..

Whew! Let’s get back to our real words… Oh, it’s still raining out here ;)

Learn Gondi language

Jai Seva... 

Gondi is the language of Gond tribe.  Gond tribals live in central Indian forest areas.  This area is supposed to be the Dandakaranya forest area, mentioned in Ramayan (Mythology).  This language doesn't have a script, and have survived through centuries, but is rapidly becoming extinct, as schools do not teach this language to Gond children, living in eastern Maharashtra, Chattisgad, i.e. central Indian areas.  

documenting here on blog, bit of Gondi language i have come across.  Its an ongoing work, and will keep adding and correct if find mistakes. 

In Gondi language	Explanation in English & English sentence
jai seva	Greetings / hello
Seva seva	Reply to greetings / hello
Niya Poroy batal mhanta	your name what say (what is your name)
poroy batal	short for, "what name"
naava poroy 'xxx' mhanta	my name 'xxx' say (called)
niya batal paali mhanta	Your what last-name /sir-name say (what is your last name?)
Niya natenaa poroy batal mhanta	What is the name of your village (natenaa = village)
Nava natenaa poroy ‘yyy’ mhanta	my village name is ‘yyy’ called
Nik bachok pilang  mhantaag	You   how-many   children have (how many children do you have)
Naaku rend pilang	I have 2 children
Nimaa hik vaay	You here come
Baara kiyala	For what (what-for    to do ) why should I come?
Nimaa beke danton	You where going?  (Where are you going)
Nana ‘xxx’ danton	I am ‘xxx’ going (I am going to ‘xxx’)
Nimaa batal kabaal kinton	You what work doing (what work do you do?)
Nana naagel povanto	I  till  plowing  (I use the plow to do plowing)
Talai nunta	Head aching (do you have head ache?)
Kai, kaal	Hand, leg
Venjar   toha	Tongue   show (show your tongue) – useful for doctors
Palak toha	Teeth show
Mendul nonta	Body ache (do you have body ache?)
Tetha, utha	Stand, sit
Dand   poita	Fever/temperature do you have (do you have fever/temp?)

Similarity with south-Indian language

Poroy – similar to peru

Natenaa – similar to naadu

Kai – hand, similar to Kai

Kaal – leg, similar to Kaal

Talai – head, similar to Tala

Palak – teeth, similar to pallu

Why ?

Why ?

When you blush,

Even rising sun

Feels jealous of your cheeks.

When you walk out alone

The breeze races to caress you,

To carry your fragrance…

When you open your eyes

Even sparks explode

And God created tears.

When you smile,

Even monks stop meditating,

Gentle enough aura spreads…

When your fingers touch

The jewelry box, inside they fight

Like siblings, to be adorned.

When you suddenly turn

The earth sighs, because

It couldn’t do it for you.

When you laugh

Your hair strands jump

In excitement to touch your lips.

When your feet

Touches the earth, the high up

Clouds jostle each other, in regret.

When your iris moves

Birds becomes observers

To watch the flight of your eyes.

When you speak

In that flow of sound

Lungs forget to beat.

And when you let a flower,

Be near, it shivers like him

In wonderment, at your kindness.

Hi-Tech

Hi-Tech

A time comes,

To hide behind

A camera’s eye

The need to hold still

To capture that moment

And dispassionately reflect.

And a time comes

To pull the plug

To let everything out

To stop a washing machine’s

Gurgling sound, when

Everything inside churns.

And sometimes to break out

Run away till be alone,

To stop voices inside the ears

Coming in ceaselessly

From earphones of a walkman

Tied around the head.

And a time to crave

For a look at the sky

When inside a lift

Made for eight

Stuck down in the

Middle of two floors.

And a time to wish

To be able to fly

While standing on top

Of a mountain at sunrise,

Above squarely colored fields

Wearing slip proof shoes.

But will a time come

To be able to realize

There always will be

An unfulfilled wish,

When the VCD ends

Re-trapping you in real world.