humanism v/s...

what is humanism? 

i have seen a rise in viral videos (youtube mostly) by various activists, who are trying to lobby for their groups...  and in many, humanism is seen as not good, and group specific 'ism' as the only way to get ahead.  and its really disturbing, as these own group promoters seem to be un-aware of its future consequences. 

how do they plan to go ahead into future?  if each group tries to get their rights, without thinking about integration, wouldn't it give rise to more competitions and rivalry?  where are the people, who voice the need to have an inclusive, all humans as equal??  a humanism, where human rights of everyone is respected, without trying to categorize them into a group... shouldn't it go viral everywhere? 

(i added, 'should', because, i feel, everyone of us humans have faced some kind of human right violation or other..  and still, it hasn't become THE most important focus, or a demand of every human being alive). 

some of the examples, i have seen in popular media are, femin-ism, caste-ism, religion-ism, national-ism, rac-ism, special condition-ism (based on conditions like, physiological impairments &/ conditions..  here the brain is considered as part of physiology or our body)...  and so on.  Shouldn't any group, be asking for universal human rights first... where their own group also would be included automatically? 

of course, each group can focus their activities on a select number of people, but along with that, trying to spread 'humanism', where all humans also should have equal rights be voiced? ...  otherwise, wouldn't a person from one group-ism be seen as, working on their own ends, without regard for others?

well...  i guess, it all will depend on the vision each person has..  how they want to see a distant future of the world, whether they will be living or not.  could there be a vague idea, what we all should believe in, to have a well functioning world, at least in future? 

i hope to hear some comments this time... questions, ideas, solutions, facts, anything...  but do think what kind of world would you want this to become... and voice it, express it, share it... spearhead it.. 

why dont they stop this disgusting behavior?

well, a friend asked, another friend from India..  the question above. 

of course, the Indian friend couldn't believe it..  disgusting behavior? in india? impossible! 

what was the behavior? they were sitting on a bus, and as they inched for an hour through heavy traffic, on wayside, the foreigner on first trip to india, could spot, people peeing and spitting blood red liquid, as well as throwing waste, even glass bottles in public places.  other people just walk nonchalantly around as if all this behavior is invisible. 

a culture clash of course...  and what was the point of contention?  disgusting.  for the person from local area, disgusting about india or indians was offensive... anything that touches patriotic pride is to be eliminated at once.

(probably because that's all there remaining from the glorious history - i might be walking in pee, spit, plastic & food waste, but my great grandfather lived in a golden city full of intellectuals... and that's what matter.   and you might be living in clean & systematic way now, but your great grandfather was hanging around with bunch of monkeys... so you are a looser.  and its ancestors who decide your status, not you). 

forget the above para in brackets... and lets get back to the first question...  is it a good thing to have public places turned into all kinds of waste dump?  if an ebola like disease reaches india, can anyone even imagine how quickly it will spread?  so, it would be a good idea to think about, how to change such disgusting and destructive behavior...  but, then, what would be the FIRST reaction to such a comment? people who do it, or who tolerate it, will often come up with an angry reaction... and defend or block the other person's question.

its a cultural difference, you wont understand.  or, some of the people do it, not everyone does it.  its changing gradually, you will find it only in some places.  its the un-educated people who keep doing it, they have no sense.  (these could be some defensive responses... and there could be some outright angry and counter offensive questions too... like, "what about high divorce rate in your country?")

anyway, the observation here - is about, what triggers these reactions... first in the case of a foreigner and then in the case of the native / local person? 
...even if a cultural habit, or common behavior is destructive, if its pointed out from a shocked view point or aggressive view point, - then, defensive or offensive reaction can be expected and it doesn't lead to solving that issue, but makes the environment even more toxic and aggressive.

so, even if we are disgusted by some behavior (kissing in public could be seen as disgusting by some indians, but enough is being written about kiss of love strikes these days)...  a reactionary comment arising out of indignity wouldn't be a good idea.  first try to think of it as, a behavior, born out of long years of repetition.  many people would not be aware of the overall impacts of such behavior, and they might look at it as, taking away their right.  for example, a person used to throw waste anywhere scot-free,  would consider it as inconvenience and infringement of personal right, if its denied... especially if its to be obeyed as a personal choice... and some others are still doing it around them, without having to pay any consequence.

so, in conclusion, that leads us to the tricky area of initiating a cultural behavior change.  do not explode immediately with your first reaction... when some different behavior occur.  think about, how inoffensively it can be presented/communicated.  what can the local people do by themselves to change such a behavior is the next question..  and local people should feel the solution idea occurred to them, and were not told / enforced with it.  and its them, who should be motivated to sustain the different healthy behavior... so, encouragement & support will be required. 

"whew! its tough".  my friend told me. even though i am saying all this now, its not easy to give a reactionary comment, when we see something different from our culture, age old habits.  but, we gotta try, because, i would prefer clean & hygienic public places.. 

how about free wi-fi everywhere?...  (well, that's another blog ;)

about a dog....

how do you tell a dog

how much you love its open show of affection?

A dog, nearing an year, already attained its youth physically,

but mentally still in a half puppy playfulness...

she is friendly, with everyone, as she had grown up so far,

in a relatively peaceful atmosphere, thanks to many humans..

and, always ready to play, run around, attention seeking

and at times, willing to just lie down and relax...

and raise her eyes in a soulful way, when awakened...

and, when you have to leave her at home,

as you have to go out on your own...

the dog, knows you are not taking her with you..

and looks at you, without anger, or hurt,

but only an innocent feel of her own sadness...

it hurts you to leave her like that... as she stands

silently..

and you remember, the other people, you have hurt

lashed out in your anger, demand, anything..

that same hurt, hits you, as you helplessly leave her

and walk ahead, alone, lost in thoughts..

wish i could be as non-judgmental as such a dog,

a state, where i am not wallowing in blame & pity

fill up my balloon of frustration, confusion i.e insecurity...

and i still walk away, realizing, whats being judgmental,

and wishing to practice it, even more in future.. 

 

why are you still single?

a friend who lives in turkey says..
basically a lot of people have asked me, why am i still single? he's in his late 30's..

i didn't know what to say..  but surprisingly a group discussion started with that.  there are married, singles and in relationship people in the group.  they start talking, as its a house gathering, where people just chill out and chat... its not a hectic party, but more focus on food and conversations...

prior to this group talk, 2 people had a private chat, but it became public, as both were trying to stress their point and unconsciously became loud in their volume..  no intervention was needed, as it was an intellectual debate and everyone know they end up as sum total of human intelligence (which is zero, if you count in IQ and if you count in stupidity, then have a unit which is in billions ;)

well..  it was interesting debate..  the man and the woman were discussing the status of their relationship or lack of it, and the group is a tolerant and liberal one, so, it was nothing new.  but, to reveal the hidden layers, they were discussing hypothetical questions..  which start with "what if"..

one of them, asked the other, "what if i hadn't moved away to another city at that time?  what would have happened to us then? or something hypothetical /imaginary question like that...  the other person gave a clear answer, "nothing much else would have happened, we had reached a stalemate situation with our friendship anyway"... (no puns intended and it was straightforward talk, as far as i know).    

anyway, that icy cool reply broke up that suspense and people re-gathered in new cliques.  a small TV was on somewhere with some football, and a small group checking out results of various clubs quickly.  an advt. interrupted it half way through.  couple of advt geeks moved into check new advts (believe me, there are people who like to watch advts and analyze them).

a new advt. came in, for an online shop.  (these days its either online shop advt, or an advt to re-sell your used things bought online, through online again, so that you can buy more stuff online ;)
ok.. be patient..  i wont drift anymore... ;)

in this advt.  a young man & woman (husband & wife), are sitting together to buy furniture online.  the eager husband tell us, its him, who is is going to shop for furniture, as if its a rocket science.  his wife, is sitting next to him, holding his hands and with wide eyed anticipation.
and he orders something, his wife immediately corrects him, and keeps changing the details slightly, till he ends up ordering what she wants.  it was supposedly funny, where one partner in relationship was doing major 'backseat driving'.  couple of viewers laughed out loud at such an obvious stereotype...

the advt. was over, football stat graphs appeared, and advt. geeks moved away to start analysis of that advt.  one said, "it was not a nice advt.  but, such nasty people, who manipulate their relationships exist and its a major pain to deal with them..  as they are always trying to control slyly.  some of them dont even realize that they are doing such a nasty thing, and it hurts their relationships & others too".

another joined in..  it was the turkish friend.  he said, "now i know, the answer to the question, so many people asked me before..  why am i still single?.   this was in a different track from the advt. but interesting enough to find out, so the group asked for explanation. 

he answered, "because, i am frank and honest to the point of brutality, when it comes to a close relationship.  i would like to dig deep and discuss even hypothetical questions...  and it would be a partnership, where future of that partnership wouldn't be per-determined... 

i do see many potential partners, who want to live the way its shown in movies and advt's..  where the partners/couple have to love whatever the other likes and profess love through rituals shown in movie/advt as proof of true love, without realizing why they do it.  they remain shallow and their relationship as well, and they fear change the most.  how can someone exist in such a relationship, where dying together in old age is goal, even though for which you are willing to sacrifice exploration of life?  aren't they remaining in such closed relationships, becoz they haven't been exposed to emotionally open relationships?

to be precise, he continued..  i will say just this, "i prefer emotionally open relationship, without conditions and demands... so i am still single..  does that make sense to you?

fortunately, this shocking statement, did have a supporter in the group, who added.   "if this answer of yours, doesn't reach out to the other person, then there is no point, trying to make him/her understand your attitude.   

another added, its liked from the movie, 'instinct'..  we all act as takers, not only with nature... but with each other as well..  as if, we are all going around with a begging bowl, pleading, 'love me, give me affection, give me respect, make me feel good, make me happy'..  to others, and as if that is not enough, to mythical gods and powers as well..

'the dinner is served', announcement rang at that moment, and made everyone self aware and all moved towards the ultimate truth, one plate at a time ;)

Oopar Oopar song lyrics & translated to english from hindi

life is best enjoyed, when you're HIGH on life.. (the title of the music video) - hindi lyrics with rough english translation below each stanza

dua pakad ke, oopar aagaya, oopar se sab saaf dikhe,

satya hai kya, sansar ka ab duniya ka mai-baap dikhe

(catching smoke, i came up high, and from high (above), everything is seen clearly,

what is truth, society and the whole world's mother-father (essence) is seen

yahan breeze bahoot hai tandi tandi tandi tandi

manne, oopar oopar rehne de... (2)

oopar oopar rahne de, manne, oopar rahne de

(here, there is very cold breeze...

(let) me, stay high high)

raz booz par loot raha hoon,

dhassa dhasa jaata hoon,

jeevan kaisa joke hai saala, hasa hasa jaata hoon

(spending on booze,

i remain down,

life seems like a joke, i keep on laughing..)

gas phoos pe lot raha hoon, roll roll kar jalna

road badi hai, rough jeevan ki, phook phook kar chalna

(i am lying on grass, keep rolling and burning

the road of life is tough, blow out and keep walking)

taxi kar ke aaya jahan, 3D sapnon ka jharna,

gadi-yaan saari melt hui, sab slow-motion pe karna

(i came here in taxi, in a 3D dreams waterfall

all the clocks have melted, do everything in slow-motion)

broken dil pe joint laga le, duniya flower-pot dikhe

chada jo parvat ki choti pe, mujhko bole-nath dikhen

(in your broken heart, put a joint, the world will be seen as flower-pot,

when climbed the peak of mountain, i saw 'bole-nath' / shiva the god)

yahan breeze bahoot hai, tandi tandi

manne, oopar oopar rehne de... (2)

oopar oopar rahne de, manne, oopar rahne de

(here, there is very cold breeze...

(let) me, stay high high)

jeevan ki mahatva-kamkshaon mein, jeevan ka sukh kho jaata hai

armanon ka kiye karaye ko, frustration ka flush dho jaata hai

pyar, mohabbat, kasmein, vaadein, yeh sab bus.. kujli-yaan hai

aam to bas yeh khqas pal hain, baaki sab to gutli-yaan hain,

yeh sansar ek rang manch hai, jahan sab ko apna role nibhana hai,

role banana hai, banana fal hai.. aur fal ki chinta na karna hi, jeevan ka hal hai..

jab zindagi phode bumb, bol BUM...

(in the ambitions of life, happiness gets lost from life,

when desires create chaos, flush of frustration cleans up..

love, affection, vows, promises, all these are... mere irritants

important is this present moment, all else is worthless (like a shell)

this world is a stage, where all have to do their role,

have to make roll, and banana is a fruit (its connected in sarcastic word play)

and not thinking about the fruit (of our efforts) is the solution to life

when life explodes a bomb, say BUM (a prayer to shiva)

manne, oopar oopar rehne de... (2)

oopar oopar rahne de, manne, oopar rahne de (2)

oopar oopar rahne de (2)... manne...

(let) me, stay high high)

#oopar oopar renn de, #oopar oopar rehne de #song lyrics #lyrics oopar oopar song #english translation of hindi song oopar oopar.

chess...

a child's first question could be,

“what is it?”

or would a child think,

why the hell did you

take me out of such

a warm cocoon,

where i am fed, cared

without the need to

lift even a finger...

(except maybe smile

couple of times,

when sonography is done)...

well, i am drifting away

from the question...

what is it? Keeps happening

at other times too..

like when you connect

converse with ease

and chat for an hour...

(in real life nobody's got time

for, focused conversation with

a single person, continuously ;)

well, then you end up asking,

what is it?

What kind of friendship do we have

and where would it go...

when its a guy and you too are a guy

then it doesnt go that way...

questions doesnt arise..

(i.e. If the guys are straight)

how does it go with

girl-girl thing..

i really dont know now..

but then, cant there be

a genderless community?

Where there are only

human-human things?

When you are young,

you move on quickly

rush into an answer

either way..

when you are beyond 40's

then you tend to play

some more mental chess (MC)..

only difference in MC is

there are no pawns..

they can be called as hope,

and you have to move them ahead

often only 1 step at a time..

though when you are young,

you might get a chance

to do a double move

though its an option...

and thus hope moves us ahead

and we tend to become pawns

(or even if we consider our self

rook, queen or king)...

we all have to move in the

64 square board of life...

often unable to predict the

moves of our partner.. or competitor

but if taken with sporting spirit,

its all fun..

and play a good game,

with zest and energy

consideration and with fair play

its just a life long game...

play on!

how would 2015 be?

What would you say, are the worst problems of the present time? I guess such a question is appropriate now, as its end of 2014, and a new year is coming up.

2015 is going to be an epoch year... its going to bring about so many changes from earlier traditional rituals and behavior.. the current year has already proved, how rapidly change is happening, especially in this 21^st century.

So, what would you guess, will be the biggest change makers next year? Internet speed? Mobile phone technology? Oil prices? Gender equality? Human rights? Well, its not easy to think from an international point of view... or world level.. so, think also about, the biggest change maker in your local area, in your local community (wherever you will be for the next 1 year).

What would be the biggest block for positive change / improvement in the next year?

Politics? Religion? Dictatorship /fascism? Gender oppression? Child rights? Human rights violations? War? Weather? Sex? … (again think from world view and local view, so come up with 2 major blocks, or same block can be there for both)..

think what it could be, from your point of view.

....  ...  ... from my point,  some of the above points are:

Well.. I am thinking too.. institutionalized religion could be a major block, is one of my draft guesses (draft idea – where draft means - a preliminary version of a piece of writing).. or it might be 'family' system... (already there is a blog in here below somewhere, which is about, how 'family' actually leads to cliques, groupism, and reduced cooperation).

Travelling (backpacking) alone, to meet new people & cultures, would be the biggest catalyst next year, to lead us to world peace... (well, my personal opinions).. and genderless, casteless, ageless, religionless, nations-less, greed-less world is what I will be hoping for...

that is, bit more better than this year... and not a sudden change into total utopia... ;)

also, connecting with people, share positivity, would be something I hope will happen more next year, if you also want that to happen... do get in touch with whoever you want to get in touch with ASAP ;)

what am i afraid off?

there is a question, i am afraid off...  it is,
"why don't you go one or few more steps ahead of the way you've chosen?
"why are you still afraid - for example of the society?
such questions...

but then, "do i ask people such a question?
yes, i often do (at times, silently, in my mind)

there are many possible retorts.. one liners, which can be used to block...
"have YOU done it?
"why are you telling ME?  and not instead tell it to YOURSELF?  or
"the FOCUS is you, not me...

but are they convincing enough for you?

let me give an example.. otherwise it can be too complex ;)

from my personal life, as i dont wear footware, someone asked me,
"why do you stop just at footwear?  why not reduce other needs too, and not wear any clothes at all? ...why dont you show how brave you are to the society?

well..  i was dumbstuck, when someone asked me this question..  (its the exact type of question, i mentioned above).
...of course, one reasons is..  i will develop at MY OWN speed.. not at the speed others want me to.
but, then, dont I push others to increase their speed of development.. becoz its for their own good?

i do.  i confess..  and, will definitely try to work on my rudeness..  but,

it still doesnt answer my question..  how can you show someone, that they are pushing YOU too far?
how can you block such a question in a nice manner?

(this time, i leave you, without my attempt at answer..  becoz, i am still thinking about it).

blog idea turns in to blog ;)

blog idea: the longing for alpha male, is often depicted as the only or best love partner for females..

(one example which hit me right now was, a scene from the movie, percy jackson and lightning thief.. alexandra daddario and percy's fight scene. (I dont know which actor plays percy) where only after percy defeats her in a sword fight, and comes out as a champion of that school/group, her love lights up?

Though, its never that often for men... any (good looking) orphan can be his (hero's) damsel in distress... isn't time to throw away that archetype?

… and stories from other point of views are not likely to appear in main stream media or most popular media.. i.e. ordinary people finding their preferred partner in a cooperative way (rather than competitive... I am gonna tear your guts.. intensity?)

Why cant 2 people not bothered by each others status, but LIKE each others company be together? Two people who are Compatible get together?

And it shouldn't be termed or viewed as derogatory or out of selfishness or lone focus on money... (that's how mainstream media tend to show such relationships... of course, there could be such relationships, but there are positive relationships, even though those 2 people can be different from each other in multiple ways -

one example i feel is, from 'game of thrones, season 1 - the relationship between Khal Drogo & Daenerys Targaryen - (if you haven't seen it or read the book, please try it)... its a fictional story written by RR Martin, but, it does show, there are multiple shades to such relationships, and not just a single point of view.  its not an exact example, but i am using it to convey an idea...

its such a sad world at times, but the good thing about it is..

it gives us so many opportunities to improve ourselves so easily..

keep going..

december blues

hi... am a bit down now,
as new year is approaching
what did i do in this whole year?

is a question which keeps falling
like snow in winter...

an anti-depressant of
counting newly acquired frnds
on FB is at times effective,...
 like a modern yoga pose!

it works like this...
stare at your smartphone,
swipe, swipe, stare...
give a mirthless laugh,
Like Conan does,
in his online comics...

are we too in now?
inside the net... Internet?

its a joke...

Looking now into the next day,
imagining the question it will unfold,

As today, i have folded up some questions
into the shape of answers,
with a slight idea that they were
half the truths...

which makes the future, our true friend
as they show us what is
real, truer & lasting...
often presenting it in dark humorous way,

what can i do, expect
bear this whacky friend
while improving MY
sense of humour...

i dont want to be discriminated...

As an individual you can treat me as special.. But do not put me in any group and discriminate me as that stereotype... (does anyone get what i am saying here).

something i have been  thinking about.  generally, people dont like it, when they are discriminated, criticized, as an individual, or as a group.

The groups can be, based on the region you were born in, citizenship, gender, skin color, caste (a system which exists mostly in India, but that's like 1/6th of world population), based on your education or lack of it, marital status, age, whether you have all your limbs organs or not, color of your hair/beard, the type of music you like, or a disease like 'Uner Tan syndrome'...

and nobody likes to be discriminated on the basis of being part of such a group.  but stereotypes are not easy to overcome. 

sometimes, you can be positively discriminated, due to your belonging to a group.  people with white skin can get automatic extra respect / value in some countries.  sometimes a gender gets more privilege (though its very rare in India).. 
and sometimes, you get extra privilege, due to some specific individual thing - example like, a specific skill, musical ability, or just looks, etc. 

Nobody would mind getting positively discriminated..  either as a group member or as an individual.  nobody would like to be discriminated as group or individual... (that's what i tried to write on top para).  but, if we dont like it ourselves, why is there so much discrimination (both positive and negative) in this world?  what can be done about it?

the funny thing in India is, - ask a person, who belongs to some mid level caste, or is a middle class level citizen in the caste hierarchy... "do you think caste hierarchy should be practiced in 2014".. mostly they will say, "NO"...  then ask them, what about discriminating people on the basis of gender? "dont you think women should have all the freedom as men?".. 

its a tricky question, and i suspect, some men, maybe 1 or 2 from India might squirm a bit, and even oppose... with some reasons/logic...

and most funny thing is - almost everyone would be able to recall, some kind of human rights violation, which happened against them..  but, how many do anything to establish / maintain human rights in their community?  how many times have you stood up for something?

here is something else to check out...  how many people would be affected by lack of full human rights int his world: http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

life is fun too...

No more internet,
so SMS/text to chat...
Maybe i should get whatsapp,
just 4 u...
(but i know it doesn't work,
because i have tried it b4,
i mean, even when i feel alone,
and want to chat,
find excuses to avoid whatsapp...
that's what i mean ;)

i am writing after a long time,
its a joke, on me..
(what do you think of this?)

there was a time,
(excuse me, like an unread tome,
 am unfolding my stories, now)..
yes, there was a time,
when i used to get irritated,
as i felt i keep giving,
but they/others do not return...

and i used to stop, tired..
let anger out...
then i realize at times,
there is pleasure in giving too...
when its seen as sharing too,

i dont feel tired now,
life is fun too..

(and i give out more likes now ;)

do it in your style...

i like an audience – i like to tell tales.. kinda in a standup comedy way, or some role-playing way... i guess i never searched for a typical method or art form to present / communicate, but prefer to just let it go with the flow. Because the rebel in me, refuses to conform to a particular style or way to communicate or story-telling. I like to do it with heavy doses of intense sarcasm and contradictions in which our mind seem to thrive on..

it is a form which is organic, it wont even allow itself to be typecast and leave others to follow in those footsteps or style. It has to decay within its time and maybe to stop it from becoming a fashion/trend, it has to die many deaths within a lifespan!

It has to reinvent itself, without worrying about an audience! Yes, a pure art form, which gets expressed over a period of time, longer than a movie or a book, could last upto 10 days of unscheduled conversation, which you are int he middle of doing every other thing!

Inter-actors it would be. Not a passive audience! Each preson has to interact, with everyone else, well almost. There has to be lot of trust, openness and positivity in all. With hope and peace in a relaxed atmosphere! Whew... too much to ask?

Then it can happen.. how or why nobody knows. Thus then there is no audience! Or everyone is an audience. There are no actors, writers, directors.. everyone spontaneously reacts.. with lots of layers in each dialogue, with full of rich body language for you to decode, decipher and communicate in the same way back. Without feeling any pressure.. just connecting and inter connecting... or whatever that means! ha... i had warned you about twiested sense of humour, innit? ;)

(wrote the above, based on a 10 day experience... a brief of it is given below:

For 10 days, i was in a place, Jungle, where everyone was doing their thing. But something beautiful happened (i am not someone who uses beautiful as an adjective easily.. but there seems to be no better way to describe it right now).

About 15-20 people met each other for few days, explored the place around, and interacted with each other without any planning or schedules... but somehow, it seemed to have given everyone a burst of positivity.. some got more but everyone got something positive overall..

How and why did this happen? There was no purpose or plan.. it just happened.

Maybe, such camps, or such get together should happen more often. a camp or hostel, where people just relax and have fun.. and interact with each other. Where they get along with others, while finding themselves, discuss personal stuff, and relax and chill out..

Everyone got a burst of positive energy and formed beautiful friendships with so many others and explored themselves and felt good about themselves as well.. which is really a lot to ask for.. and all this happened within 10 days.

But of course, if its a planned thing, will it really be the same? And if its not planned, nothing much might happen at all. A tough dilemma to resolve. Have any of you readers had such an experience? or would you wish for such a thing?

whats true self?

What is self awareness? What is your true personality or true self? For human beings, its never totally genetic or pre-programmed.

Some evolutionary theories say, whats called as homo-sapiens-sapiens are the present human beings. Sapien means wise or elder. Remember, sapiens is used twice... its like version 2. and these present day humans (living since probably 2 hundred thousand years), have less programming and have to learn to change to adapt to the world they are born into.

You dont have to teach an animal or bird to eat and other many things. A human child on the other hand is pretty helpless for few years or even more. Because, there is less focus on instinct and pre programming and its learning. But this gave human beings a great advantage, in earth, which was changing rapidly. And now you know the reason for generation gap as well ;)

anyway, to sum up, we humans learn a lot from outside world, other people etc. we also have different perspectives, and thus even identical twins growing up in same house, same parents, similar outside influences grow up with different personalities.

Why do twins evolve (after birth) with such differences in their personality? Well, it can be reasoned that, the same event, happening, situation can evoke different perception / viewpoint in 2 different people. And that makes us unique... each one of us is unique.. and until we can accept that, we will feel miserable. (because, another part of us wants to be connected and be part of the majority... but we can be unique and still be connected).

In an earlier blog, there was something about, 'travel alone' to find your true self. Actually there is no guarantee that it will have the same effect / impact on 2 different people. But, there would be some similarities as well.

But even then, what the hell is this 'true self'? Well, to be true, maybe nothing like that exists.. but, a more open and rounded up self can be realized through travel.. and traveling alone.

What could occur when you travel alone is, that you would be exposed to things/situations/people you otherwise wouldn't be exposed. Thus, overall, your option to imbibe more data about the outside world increases... and thus, rather than select from a limited option, we get a chance to select the best from much more varied and rich sources.

That's what a more 'true self' would indicate.. (and many thanks to my friends, who ask such questions... accepting without analysis and questioning would be useless and I am really happy to be able to improve mine & others level of understanding too).

If you do ask questions, then you already are on that way..

Basically, we need to realize, what's taboo in one culture is embraced in another.. and when you become aware of more than 1 cultural practices, the need to feel proud (due to insecurity) about own culture disappears, and chances are your inner-self will get expressed rather than conditioned-self.

We as human beings, which is but one of the many species of living beings in this earth, have many limitations... we have to accept them but also accept our strengths and explore ahead, without Anthropocentrism of course (its there in wikipedia ;)...   anyway, i have to stop, gotta watch matrix 1, there's something i want to analyze about that movie...

short story 3: Not that Crazy

Not that crazy.

Solah baras ki baali umar ko salaam, pyar teri pahale nazar ko salaam…(Salute to 16^th year of youth, Salute to first glimpse / experience of Love…)

But is there a first and last stage in love?

Is it any different at 32 or at 64?

I decided to ask my grandfather first and he said, oh? First love? It was when my English teacher at my college smiled and touched my cheeks, when I wrote the only essay on lost paradise, maybe gori mem’s are allowed to do that in England; he trailed off… And me too.

Asking father about it was beyond unthinkable. He’d mostly take me to that doctor who calls me schizophrenic or to others who call it as ‘lack of will power’…

But I am deviating from my first question. Does love have a ‘first stage’? Isn’t it the pleasure that accompanies it which makes it sought after thing? Questions are a bad way to start off with, as they usually lead to more complicated ones. Endless like the TV soap operas... it’s a joke, you know. My uncle would have laughed at it, not the others here.

Well, to get some answers to my question, I waited till my favorite consultant came along, my uncle who lived in a far off city. My mother called him ‘mad’ secretly. Of course I had told about this to my uncle, but he reassured me easily by saying, “all sisters think of their brothers that way”. Actually my uncle never talks; he has this lyrical way of saying even the most mundane things as if it’s a poetical verse. I would try to hang on to his every word. He also never called me ‘crazy’ and would explain that having schizophrenia is not a crime, but it’s a disease I happen to have. It is caused by imbalance of chemicals in the brain, one of the chemicals is known as serotonin.

I remember everything when he explains it, even the complicated things. Whenever others ignore me or look at me with disgust I remember what he once told me. I had returned form a short hospitalization as my parents had stopped giving me medicines as they had found a new Baba who promised to cure me fully. I was happy to get rid of the medicines in the beginning, but later on wanted them back because of the terrible unknown fears played with me until I couldn’t even scream against them.

After my return from hospital I was shunned away and usually told to stay in a far corner of the house. It was as if I deliberately made everyone else fail. “You made us lose our face even to the Baba” was repeatedly told to me. I would feel very bad and sad and confused as I really couldn’t remember much of that time. Used to feel that I am the worst person in that whole town, worse than even the thieves & murderers of our town.

One day, as usual I was crying carefully over it in my ‘favorite corner’ (others had labeled that corner as my favorite by then). I daren’t cry with tears those days because if I am caught crying with tears in my eyes, then my father would shout at me till I felt like running away, or my mother herself would start crying unstoppably and my father would shout and…

Well, to keep it short, my uncle came and put his hands on my shoulder and smiled at me… and told me, “hey buddy, you feeling sad because you are crazy? “Somehow holding my tears I nodded repeatedly. He patted my shoulders and said, “You know, almost everyone feels at times, that it would be better to go crazy and lose all control”.

I was amazed, and just stared at him. Then he looked far away and continued, “Yes, to escape from all these rules, to do what one feels like and blame it all on being crazy. Who has not thought that way more than once? He continued his song, but I had heard what I needed to; because till then it had never occurred to me that others might resent me for the state I am in…

I also am one of them,

Of human beings,

And at peace…

Yes, after a year he came, my uncle and my first question was about love. At first he just ruffled my hair and said, “Oh, my boy is all grown up now, eh?”, and walked away. But I followed him after lunch till he gave up, (I also knew he hated to smoke with me near him). “Well, my boy, just like there is no difference between being crazy the first time or the 100^th time or being crazy at 16 or 64; love also doesn’t have such differences… He stopped his verse then and asked me, “are you in love buddy?”.

I looked back at him squarely and replied, “Even I am not that crazy”. My uncle looked at me quizzically and then started laughing. Now I am the one who’s cracking jokes…

But soon my parents had a talk with my uncle and he became unusually quiet that whole after noon. But I knew he’d talk to me during our evening walk together to the temple. He never entered the temple but always would call out loudly to my mother, “we are going to the temple to pray”, and wink at me. I would also wink back at him. It was a routine thing, but it always made me feel like being on the inside of a joke.

Anyway, as soon our house disappeared from view, my uncle asked, “something happened, something happened, right? I heard a new social worker girl had come to rehabilitate”. He struggled with that long last word. “Is that why you asked about love?” His words now sounded bit broken. “Would you tell me everything?” He added ‘please’ as an afterthought.

I looked at him back with a strange realization. His face now seemed to have more creases and his voice seemed to have lost some of its melody.

I felt even my uncle is growing old like grandfather… “Well, of course I will tell you everything my uncle”, I started with unconvincing hilarity. I can’t make it into a song like him, I realized but braved on. You see, there was this girl, yes she called herself a social worker but she told me her name when I asked her. She would talk to me a lot and her eyes would stare at me and she would smile a lot. Mother and father were bit wary of her but she’d come every week to meet me.

Even though she talked about a lot of nonsense things, I liked to listen to her. At times strangely she would stop and tell me to talk and if I stop talking at these times she would become nervous and try to get me to talk more. At times I even felt like making up some problems and telling them to her, but as I liked her I didn’t lie.

One day she wanted to take me out to town. Mother was really worried but she let her. I was really happy to go out with someone other than a nervous family member. We went through the town and reached a new big building. Even though it was early evening it was lit up by hanging lights all over. There were many glass windows full of things. A new shopping mall, a really big one, it was, as she had told me. Can we go in for a look? I asked her with a big smile and to my surprise, she took my hand and we went in there. A big x-mas tree all lit up and gleaming new things were all around us.

I thought I found someone just like you uncle and laughed. Go on, my uncle gently prodded me. Yes, and as we stared around the mall, she still was holding my hands and were both laughing happily.

Then a guy came across us and she stopped smiling and our hands broke off. But I smiled at him. He ignored me first and asked her, “So this is the new guy who is crazy about you, eh? Or is he just plain crazy?” And made a strange laughing like sound. Then he turned to me and said in a slow drawl… “Helloo, good-evenijg, can-you-understand? Helloo, can-you-talk?” It was really strange, so I just stared at him. Then she suddenly burst out, “how dare you, he’s a schizophrenic, you should treat him nicely”. I was bit scared now as well, and the guy seemed shocked. Then she tried to grab my hand and drag me away and I punched her on the face… not hard though, but at that moment I couldn’t have cared.

“Then you ran away, right”? My uncle broke the sudden silence and brought me to that evening walk back. “Why buddy? Why did you do that? I don’t believe you did it because you are crazy”, Then he calmly waited for me to finish his sentence. “I was more angry at her than scared, because she was being nice to me all along because I am schizophrenic, not because I was nice to her and…” I somehow vocalized my thoughts for him and anxiously waited for his reaction.

“So, even you are not that crazy… now I get it”, my uncle completed for me and I too joined him as his loud laughter echoed from the temple’s stonewalls.

travel alone....

then all your pretensions fall down,
the real you emerges...

even if you are with a close friend,
even if he/she knows all about you
or even if you don't want to be away from any person,
and all such excuses,
merely indicate, you need to travel alone, my friend.

it takes a few moments (or days) of lone travel,
to reach the real you, inside...
so give that time for self,
as everything starts from there,
even the old excuses, you keep giving.

and to overcome those excuses,
just travel alone...
to strange places, where you dont know anyone!

travel alone... 
to meet people, otherwise you would never
have a sane reason to meet,
expand your awareness about self
and about cultural beliefs & opinions...

travel alone, my friend...
to meet like minded people,
who believe in being positive,
to be in harmony, to be balanced
to be pushed into new experiences...

and travel alone my friend...
to be a hippie...
its no religion, not even a commune,
but a way of thinking..
but if the word hippie scares you,
dont travel alone, stay home in comfy chair
because thats you then, doing your thing..

finally, yes, travel along my friend...
to connect with the universe...
as its when you interact with total strangers,
you find your true self, unmasked and real.

and that gives you happiness,
like you never felt before,
that you don't even think
about updating your status online,
or maybe you will do!

travel alone is not being alone...
its not about being lost in yourself,
take initiative to open up to others,
and be yourself...

being yourself means,
break away from old patterns and doubts
challenge your conditioned & predictable personality
make yourself a new person for others and that place.

travel alone, my friend...
you have suffered enough,
its time to rediscover your inner child
add nature to your friend list...

End of Disability...

Can we eliminate disability from our world?

A time, when there will be no disabled people in our world... can it be possible?

Of course, you readers should be skeptical.  But lets try to find some reasons for this hope.

Who is a disabled person? Someone who is not able.  But is there any person, who is not able to all? Does a physical problem make that person disabled?  Its only those who think they are not able, are the only truly disabled.   And in that same way, we cannot define who is NORMAL person, or what is Normalcy..  We are all human beings and we should celebrate our Uniqueness &/ Diversity.

Everyone actually has some strengths and weaknesses – in comparison to other human beings.  Not all human beings are equal in every way.  There will be differences of gender, heritage, region you are born in and region & conditions you are brought up in.  Level of immunity will differ, parenting styles will not be same for every human, and so is, skin, hair, voice, height etc. 

But, an enlightened person will try to utilize available resources to maximum level.  Using our creativity to deal with challenges is what makes our life spicy and worth living.  Rather than crying and being depressed about what is not available, leaves you in a pit made by yourself..  and its called as self-pit(y). 

 No one can escape discrimination and inequality in some way...  and thus, its easy to feel like a victim, and dependent.  The victim-hood is a favorite topic of media of other countries and they spread that feeling in the community.  Sympathy is shown to those who show that they are victims and helpless.  And aid is given to them, which keeps them dependent, and not help them to become independent.  This is a short cut.

Empowering someone should be the right approach.  Its not easy, and is difficult in the short term, but better in the long run. 

But where will the empowerment start?  Let's start with a famous quote, '”Be the change you want to be... in the world”.  You might have seen it and read it many times, but practicing it is very much required.  Of course its a quote by Gandhi, and today 2nd Oct 2014 is his 146th Birthday. 

For example, if you feel you have been discriminated against, or that you want to work for those who are discriminated and empower them, then... first be a role model of empowerment.  Do not shift the responsibility to some government, ministry, a group or to another person. 

Learn to stand up and communicate properly.  Learn to show qualities in yourself, so that others cannot discriminate you on the basis of your social stereotype, or community label.  If you have problem in one of the sense organs, or in the limbs, or in the mind, or one of the organs... don't let it become the center of yourself.

That is but just one aspect of yourself.  one part of your life.  Focus on your strengths and try to become a role model and be ready to show to the world that you are not helpless, you are not a burden... and that you are a person like any other, with some advantages and disadvantages...

Utilize your uniqueness to develop yourself and a valuable contributor in the society.  All the people who meet you would realize that their stereotype or label about a person with visual problems or so called disability is wrong... and one by one you will lead the social change.

There is widespread belief in the society that, people of certain race, region, gender, country, educational background, occupational group etc. Are inferior to others.  Do not just feel bad about such discrimination, if you are from one of those groups, which get discriminated. 

Empower yourself, put efforts into developing your skills.  Do not utilize that fire of hatred into feeling lousy and indulge in self pity.  That is a trap and that is easy to fall into as well.  

Instead, use that fire to energize yourself..   Focus on your communication skills, and increase your positive influence..   you will be able to see the discriminating mind set of society changing for the better through your influence.  Who doesn't wish for betterment?   But most lack initiative, so, be that initiator...    If you yourself remain withdrawn, crying, feeble and meek, then people will think that negative stereotype or label is true about your group.  and if you just sink back into self pity and inactive suffering, then aren't you actually are proliferating that stereotype by being one???

Just channelize that burning feeling inside you into empowering self and others.  You will see the difference, first on self and then on the viewpoint of others.  Thus show the world that its possible to end disability...  and create a world, where all humans are free to be themselves!

End cannot justify means...

The end does not justify the means.   What does it mean and why is it important to remember, even when it comes to positive change, known as development?

We must actually use sustainable development (SD), instead of just 'development' – as SD is a long term vision and not a short cut, or short term growth.  Please remember, development is and should be seen as SD... you will see the reason for adding this, as you read ahead.

Now back to 'The end does not justify the means' point – often human right violations, such as abuse, exploitation, violence are covered as a practical requirement, for a better future, a necessity for a good end result.

Countless rulers have used the excuse of Development, (that is development of their nation) – for waging wars, atrocities, genocide, biological warfare, imprisonment and even bombing out entire cities full of people.

And it is happening today as well, and every newspaper reading person will be aware of it. How many human rights violations have you read about, or experienced – which was done in the name of a nation or as a reason for national development in general?  Arresting people and beating them – violating their rights – in the name of national security, is another form of the same excuse.  As national security is required for national development.

In the same way, religious groups are targeted, harassed, mocked and even killed.  Using skin color to target certain groups, denying them full rights and keeping them as secondary citizens – because, they are portrayed as not worthy of contributing to the nations development, is another example, to justify abusive means or methods.  In the same way, political party members are targeted as well, blamed, shown as evil and bad.

And this is why, "The end does not justify the means".  The end result, or the goal can be a good or great one.  But the means to reach that goal or end result cannot be unethical or bad one.

Most of us are told, "end justifies the means", in different ways from our childhood, that is, to use any means possible to get our way – and as we grow up as adults, we see more and more such examples around us – people cheat, fake, copy, steal, lie, torture and even kill... for what they believe to be a good goal, a positive end result..  supposedly a better future.

It is easy to believe this cunning statement, 'Ends justify the means' – as it hides all the evil and exploitation – by showing a bright future.  But can bad and evil deeds and actions be accepted as a way to good? Gandhi was one person who focused on just means / fair methods, and he also tried to popularize "end does not justify the means".  and ofcourse, today, 2nd October 2014 is his 146th Birthday...

But some readers may not not convinced yet...

Here is another example - Using dangerous banned drugs in sports / athletics, to win gold medal – They won! They reached the end – the goal of winning...  would you accept it as the Right thing?

If not, then – imagine yourself as one of the sufferers, one of the discriminated, one of the accused, one of the tortured, or raped or killed.

Would you then accept it happily as your sacrifice for nation's development?
How can it be nations development, when the present citizens are troubled in the name of an imaginary future?
How can someone, who uses unfair and inhuman ways to reach his/her goal can be trusted in future to take care of you as well? Will you bet on such a person?  They are not hero's but villains.

So, voice your protest – against any such abuse, human right violation – done int he name of change for a better future, done against any religion, a political party, or any person. We all need to be aware and observant to realize, such schemes, as any leader can utilize such dirty tactics.   Remember that people who use negative means to achieve something – will become like Hitler, or Dictator Mussolini, once they get the power.  These 2 were most obvious examples.

so don't be late in raising your voice in opposition to political, or religious crucifications.  Make sure bad and evil means are not used with an excuse like, its all for development or betterment of people etc. Etc.

Voice your valuable opposition against such disgusting tactics.  Violence whether its physical or verbal – should not be accepted as a public means of communication.  And that is by following always – good and fair means, such as – ethical communication...  Not only for our nation, but for all of humanity.  and its not just for today, but for everyday.