37) Paper plane

37) Paper plane
I want to tell you,
What I think about you,
And then face your retort.

And I can take it
Self deprecating humor
With a smile.

Except this is no joke
At least for me,
But I can pretend.

My eyes tell the truth
But it’s a strange world,
Even black & white is misunderstood.

Maybe it’s just another game
Between two people,
The winner can just walk away.

Once I lost a paper plane,
Had aimed it too high
And in a chemistry class, I learnt
Tears are salty water drops fallen from eyes,
But there are other ways to shed,
So standing still, I waved.

36) Once again?

36) Once again?
Cry again cry,
Try to catch fire.

Laugh again laugh,
To hide sorrowful tears.

Kiss again kiss,
Keep falling in love.

Paste together, paste
Broken pieces of heart.

Waste time, waste,
To become a poet.

Wash again wash,
To clear smears of sin.

Run again run,
To escape all fears.

Think again think,
Try to understand the world.

Wish again wish,
For a wonderful tomorrow.

Die just once die,
When you run out of clichés.

35) Normal

35) Normal
I took a bath
To stop being a natures freak
Called home
With a sense of guilt.

Smiled, made small talk
For a list of friends,
In my telephone book,
I am no longer a loner.

Torn away posters, swept
Corners of my room
Hung curtains of matching color and
Wait for visitors, who talk about weather.

Painted my nails and a blank expression
Carry along in a handbag concerned voice.
‘You look respectable now’, compliments
My neighborhood shopping mall.

Now laugh derisively at my third dimension,
Whom I rejected, left behind
To be happy, to be together, and
Except for a warped shadow, I am normal.

34) Night study

34) Night study
Stack of papers,
Scattered books,
Pens and empty cups of coffee,
Lie all around me.

The clock ticks faster,
The books grow fatter,
And an insect miles away,
Disturbs me greatly.

My eyes are aching,
And joints are squeaking,
Unless I rest, I know,
I’ll be taken ill, now.

But I just can’t rest,
Even for a while, stop;
Because looms large shadows,
Of teachers, parents and peers.

33) New Cult

33) New Cult
I had a friend, ‘X’
Fiery and determined,
For half of us ‘X’ was scary,
And the other half thought as crazy.

‘X’ always wanted,
Every answer, ecstasy,
The clear cut path to truth,
And the eternal companion, provider, peace.

In the last three years,
‘X’ had changed,
A cross for a skull cap,
Then saffron and threads,
And many other strange motif’s.

Really, it was to stop,
A conversion attempt,
Into X’s new cult, that I gave,
A cloth covered frame and a ritual; saying,
“Whenever you want something,
Just look at the frame
And pray for its blessings,
But promise you will have to, first
Never to open the cover and peep
At the Framed God inside”;
X got immediately converted.

I had a friend, ‘X’
Who, yesterday committed suicide,
I should never have given her,
The concept of framed mirror as God,
“Oh, Mirrorgod, please forgive”.

32) Neither Head nor Tail..

32) Neither Head nor Tail..
I see her the goddess of beauty..
But when I looked behind the smile ..
I saw a child's innocence and
A little sadness also covering those eyes..
Showing me that they have seen the world.

A posture of confidence
It looks like on the photograph..
But when I held my heart and observed,
I could see the her hands on the earth,
To balance herself a bit.

Now I am able to realize
Her heart is so pure,
And she keeps it like an open door
And I feel like telling her,
It might let in joy as well as sorrow...

Yes.. Her silky smooth strands of hair..
Fly with the wind and
Dance with her thoughts,
But does that freedom mean
They know where to go as well?

And the smoothness of her limbs,
Seemed like molded in marble,
But also makes one afraid of letting
Things slip away too much, and even wonder
That they are made to admire and not feel.

And, there are two sides to a coin they say…
But I want to be the third side of the coin,
Which feels and analyzes as well;
Once in a million tosses my side comes up,
Neither head nor tail...

more on mental health

...mental health remains a neglected area world over, and more so in undeveloped countries... but for me a favorite area. why so? that i am still trying to figure out.

anyway, there are some encouraging happenings at WHO, such as 'no health without mental health', and increased pressure to make mental health aspects part of of global health etc are occurring.

a book "donde no hey doctor", (where there is no doctor), had become a champion of poor/undeveloped parts of the world - for their health/doctor needs - similarly another book, 'where there is no psychiatrist" has come out, which another promising sign.

though when i see people putting in lots of efforts to achieve / succeed BUT neglect mental health aspects such as managing their stress and thus dig their own grave, i can't help but feel confused. many such people achieved a lot, but somehow are unable to prioritize their mental health needs appropriately.

a very good example i can think of right now is, students who are slogging to get good marks / grades in their exams. a common complaint they have or their close one's have is - he/she is good student but gets too stressed. but when stress management inputs are given, these students often tend to neglect practicing it... which is very similar to what adults do too - they complain of stress, even have fatal health problems like heart diseases or BP etc... but still start neglecting their mental health within no time of their treatment.

addictions are another aspect of health - and deaddiction (addiction treatment) falls under mental health area. tobacco addiction even though being shown to be a major killer (the biggest stoppable cause of death among humans now) is very neglected thing - and in a very 'cutting-the-branch-you-are-sitting' manner, governments tend to focus on economic benefits (short term) from tobacco industry instead.

maybe 'military intelligence' is not oxymoron, its mental-health intelligence. ;)

31) Nandini

31) Nandini 

From birth to four, 

She was just a child like all

Cared and fussed over, 

Maybe her cry was more shrill. 

After four, she was tied, 

From waist below, a skirt, 

Without knowing what it hid, 

She was made to feel, from then, guilt. 

At fourteen, with a new ritual, 

She was given half saree and blouse, 

And told to be shy and sensible, 

But still, scaring her, men began to notice.

At twenty, after usual cries, 

She left home with a strange man, 

Soon, felt a mother in her rise, 

After the usual pain, another girl was born. 

Nandini, she was named, 

After The divine cow and her grandmother, 

Bright eyes and free spirit she inherited; 

From mother, Who lost them, at the age of four.

30) Moon & the cloud

30) Moon & the cloud
You don’t say a word,
Still tease…
And roll your iris
Craze, confuse, daze
Like the full moon,
That clouds chase.

Maybe never to meet,
Away from you,
Forever a part of the night,
Becoz it’s your light
Which reflects,
Makes me distinct

Maybe I will reach,
Touch, When you
Stand still in one place
And dissipate,
In a sparkling haze
In to the void space.

29) Meeting

29) Meeting
Between huge rocks,
I met her,
Wearing a sparkling
Robe all over,

She was chattering ceaselessly,
But only when I listened carefully,
Heard I the voice of her secret admirer,
The calm, cold river.

But like every first time lover,
He is afraid, and have never
Called out her name aloud,
So they have never met,
He only flows by her foaming feet.

28) Married man’s poem

28) Married man’s poem
My heart beats like thunder,
Only for you my dear,
I wish I could come like lightning,
To see you, my darling.

Then we will go out of town,
On our second honeymoon,
I’ll be ready with the dough,
To any place you wish to go.

Won’t you stand on the steps,
With your palm over your eyes,
Waiting for me sweetie,
Wearing that white saree.

I’ll come running,
In my arms, bags bulging,
With things, just for you,
All bearing my love, oh so true.

27) Lyrics for ‘S’

27) Lyrics for ‘S’
Shaded with petals
She swings and turns around
Carelessly, as if in her mothers lap
‘A valley’.

Swaying in a way that
Sows contentment, as if after
A fest, in the middle of old friends
‘A river’.

Take a break.. to see
Such nature’s creations,
With a pat, said my friend,
And took away those two photos.

I just turned around to see
The shine of a million rainbows
Interspersed with pearly shells,
‘Her eyes’.

26) Loner’s Song

26) Loner’s Song
City lights blinking me goodbye,
A lone star shining in the sky,
Moving with the partly hidden moon,
Praying for that Nirvana, alone.

Lonely roads that stretch ahead of me,
Through the dim colors that I can see,
Away from those scarred memories,
Broken laughter and mute cries.

Wandering birds with me fly,
Stop sometimes for mates and prey,
But walk I towards you last moon,
Praying for that Nirvana, alone.

Grass roots and the yellow leaves,
Wait for the winds of love,
But long ago, waved I goodbye,
Left them to rot and die.

25) Laments - II

25) Laments - II
 In the story of my life,
I always fell in love with
Somebody else’s girl,
In all my odysseys Pretty faces
Always rocked my boat,
And every time, my heart broke,
I cried more and more,
Still more then ever, I yearn,
Somebody to call, my own, my own.

Till death do us unite:
 Waiting for the embrace of death,
Till stops beating my broken heart,
Dreaming about that heaven above earth,
Where you and me are going to meet,
Stay close to me from the start, dear,
There, there nothing will break us apart.

Unrelated:
 Are you for real or a vision,
Or have I died and gone to heaven,
Wow ! there she is,
A whole skeleton,
Yes, in a poetic dream, I had been a dog.