december blues

hi... am a bit down now,
as new year is approaching
what did i do in this whole year?

is a question which keeps falling
like snow in winter...

an anti-depressant of
counting newly acquired frnds
on FB is at times effective,...
 like a modern yoga pose!

it works like this...
stare at your smartphone,
swipe, swipe, stare...
give a mirthless laugh,
Like Conan does,
in his online comics...

are we too in now?
inside the net... Internet?

its a joke...

Looking now into the next day,
imagining the question it will unfold,

As today, i have folded up some questions
into the shape of answers,
with a slight idea that they were
half the truths...

which makes the future, our true friend
as they show us what is
real, truer & lasting...
often presenting it in dark humorous way,

what can i do, expect
bear this whacky friend
while improving MY
sense of humour...

i dont want to be discriminated...

As an individual you can treat me as special.. But do not put me in any group and discriminate me as that stereotype... (does anyone get what i am saying here).

something i have been  thinking about.  generally, people dont like it, when they are discriminated, criticized, as an individual, or as a group.

The groups can be, based on the region you were born in, citizenship, gender, skin color, caste (a system which exists mostly in India, but that's like 1/6th of world population), based on your education or lack of it, marital status, age, whether you have all your limbs organs or not, color of your hair/beard, the type of music you like, or a disease like 'Uner Tan syndrome'...

and nobody likes to be discriminated on the basis of being part of such a group.  but stereotypes are not easy to overcome. 

sometimes, you can be positively discriminated, due to your belonging to a group.  people with white skin can get automatic extra respect / value in some countries.  sometimes a gender gets more privilege (though its very rare in India).. 
and sometimes, you get extra privilege, due to some specific individual thing - example like, a specific skill, musical ability, or just looks, etc. 

Nobody would mind getting positively discriminated..  either as a group member or as an individual.  nobody would like to be discriminated as group or individual... (that's what i tried to write on top para).  but, if we dont like it ourselves, why is there so much discrimination (both positive and negative) in this world?  what can be done about it?

the funny thing in India is, - ask a person, who belongs to some mid level caste, or is a middle class level citizen in the caste hierarchy... "do you think caste hierarchy should be practiced in 2014".. mostly they will say, "NO"...  then ask them, what about discriminating people on the basis of gender? "dont you think women should have all the freedom as men?".. 

its a tricky question, and i suspect, some men, maybe 1 or 2 from India might squirm a bit, and even oppose... with some reasons/logic...

and most funny thing is - almost everyone would be able to recall, some kind of human rights violation, which happened against them..  but, how many do anything to establish / maintain human rights in their community?  how many times have you stood up for something?

here is something else to check out...  how many people would be affected by lack of full human rights int his world: http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

life is fun too...

No more internet,
so SMS/text to chat...
Maybe i should get whatsapp,
just 4 u...
(but i know it doesn't work,
because i have tried it b4,
i mean, even when i feel alone,
and want to chat,
find excuses to avoid whatsapp...
that's what i mean ;)

i am writing after a long time,
its a joke, on me..
(what do you think of this?)

there was a time,
(excuse me, like an unread tome,
 am unfolding my stories, now)..
yes, there was a time,
when i used to get irritated,
as i felt i keep giving,
but they/others do not return...

and i used to stop, tired..
let anger out...
then i realize at times,
there is pleasure in giving too...
when its seen as sharing too,

i dont feel tired now,
life is fun too..

(and i give out more likes now ;)

do it in your style...

i like an audience – i like to tell tales.. kinda in a standup comedy way, or some role-playing way... i guess i never searched for a typical method or art form to present / communicate, but prefer to just let it go with the flow. Because the rebel in me, refuses to conform to a particular style or way to communicate or story-telling. I like to do it with heavy doses of intense sarcasm and contradictions in which our mind seem to thrive on..

it is a form which is organic, it wont even allow itself to be typecast and leave others to follow in those footsteps or style. It has to decay within its time and maybe to stop it from becoming a fashion/trend, it has to die many deaths within a lifespan!

It has to reinvent itself, without worrying about an audience! Yes, a pure art form, which gets expressed over a period of time, longer than a movie or a book, could last upto 10 days of unscheduled conversation, which you are int he middle of doing every other thing!

Inter-actors it would be. Not a passive audience! Each preson has to interact, with everyone else, well almost. There has to be lot of trust, openness and positivity in all. With hope and peace in a relaxed atmosphere! Whew... too much to ask?

Then it can happen.. how or why nobody knows. Thus then there is no audience! Or everyone is an audience. There are no actors, writers, directors.. everyone spontaneously reacts.. with lots of layers in each dialogue, with full of rich body language for you to decode, decipher and communicate in the same way back. Without feeling any pressure.. just connecting and inter connecting... or whatever that means! ha... i had warned you about twiested sense of humour, innit? ;)

(wrote the above, based on a 10 day experience... a brief of it is given below:

For 10 days, i was in a place, Jungle, where everyone was doing their thing. But something beautiful happened (i am not someone who uses beautiful as an adjective easily.. but there seems to be no better way to describe it right now).

About 15-20 people met each other for few days, explored the place around, and interacted with each other without any planning or schedules... but somehow, it seemed to have given everyone a burst of positivity.. some got more but everyone got something positive overall..

How and why did this happen? There was no purpose or plan.. it just happened.

Maybe, such camps, or such get together should happen more often. a camp or hostel, where people just relax and have fun.. and interact with each other. Where they get along with others, while finding themselves, discuss personal stuff, and relax and chill out..

Everyone got a burst of positive energy and formed beautiful friendships with so many others and explored themselves and felt good about themselves as well.. which is really a lot to ask for.. and all this happened within 10 days.

But of course, if its a planned thing, will it really be the same? And if its not planned, nothing much might happen at all. A tough dilemma to resolve. Have any of you readers had such an experience? or would you wish for such a thing?

whats true self?

What is self awareness? What is your true personality or true self? For human beings, its never totally genetic or pre-programmed.

Some evolutionary theories say, whats called as homo-sapiens-sapiens are the present human beings. Sapien means wise or elder. Remember, sapiens is used twice... its like version 2. and these present day humans (living since probably 2 hundred thousand years), have less programming and have to learn to change to adapt to the world they are born into.

You dont have to teach an animal or bird to eat and other many things. A human child on the other hand is pretty helpless for few years or even more. Because, there is less focus on instinct and pre programming and its learning. But this gave human beings a great advantage, in earth, which was changing rapidly. And now you know the reason for generation gap as well ;)

anyway, to sum up, we humans learn a lot from outside world, other people etc. we also have different perspectives, and thus even identical twins growing up in same house, same parents, similar outside influences grow up with different personalities.

Why do twins evolve (after birth) with such differences in their personality? Well, it can be reasoned that, the same event, happening, situation can evoke different perception / viewpoint in 2 different people. And that makes us unique... each one of us is unique.. and until we can accept that, we will feel miserable. (because, another part of us wants to be connected and be part of the majority... but we can be unique and still be connected).

In an earlier blog, there was something about, 'travel alone' to find your true self. Actually there is no guarantee that it will have the same effect / impact on 2 different people. But, there would be some similarities as well.

But even then, what the hell is this 'true self'? Well, to be true, maybe nothing like that exists.. but, a more open and rounded up self can be realized through travel.. and traveling alone.

What could occur when you travel alone is, that you would be exposed to things/situations/people you otherwise wouldn't be exposed. Thus, overall, your option to imbibe more data about the outside world increases... and thus, rather than select from a limited option, we get a chance to select the best from much more varied and rich sources.

That's what a more 'true self' would indicate.. (and many thanks to my friends, who ask such questions... accepting without analysis and questioning would be useless and I am really happy to be able to improve mine & others level of understanding too).

If you do ask questions, then you already are on that way..

Basically, we need to realize, what's taboo in one culture is embraced in another.. and when you become aware of more than 1 cultural practices, the need to feel proud (due to insecurity) about own culture disappears, and chances are your inner-self will get expressed rather than conditioned-self.

We as human beings, which is but one of the many species of living beings in this earth, have many limitations... we have to accept them but also accept our strengths and explore ahead, without Anthropocentrism of course (its there in wikipedia ;)...   anyway, i have to stop, gotta watch matrix 1, there's something i want to analyze about that movie...

short story 3: Not that Crazy

Not that crazy.

Solah baras ki baali umar ko salaam, pyar teri pahale nazar ko salaam…(Salute to 16^th year of youth, Salute to first glimpse / experience of Love…)

But is there a first and last stage in love?

Is it any different at 32 or at 64?

I decided to ask my grandfather first and he said, oh? First love? It was when my English teacher at my college smiled and touched my cheeks, when I wrote the only essay on lost paradise, maybe gori mem’s are allowed to do that in England; he trailed off… And me too.

Asking father about it was beyond unthinkable. He’d mostly take me to that doctor who calls me schizophrenic or to others who call it as ‘lack of will power’…

But I am deviating from my first question. Does love have a ‘first stage’? Isn’t it the pleasure that accompanies it which makes it sought after thing? Questions are a bad way to start off with, as they usually lead to more complicated ones. Endless like the TV soap operas... it’s a joke, you know. My uncle would have laughed at it, not the others here.

Well, to get some answers to my question, I waited till my favorite consultant came along, my uncle who lived in a far off city. My mother called him ‘mad’ secretly. Of course I had told about this to my uncle, but he reassured me easily by saying, “all sisters think of their brothers that way”. Actually my uncle never talks; he has this lyrical way of saying even the most mundane things as if it’s a poetical verse. I would try to hang on to his every word. He also never called me ‘crazy’ and would explain that having schizophrenia is not a crime, but it’s a disease I happen to have. It is caused by imbalance of chemicals in the brain, one of the chemicals is known as serotonin.

I remember everything when he explains it, even the complicated things. Whenever others ignore me or look at me with disgust I remember what he once told me. I had returned form a short hospitalization as my parents had stopped giving me medicines as they had found a new Baba who promised to cure me fully. I was happy to get rid of the medicines in the beginning, but later on wanted them back because of the terrible unknown fears played with me until I couldn’t even scream against them.

After my return from hospital I was shunned away and usually told to stay in a far corner of the house. It was as if I deliberately made everyone else fail. “You made us lose our face even to the Baba” was repeatedly told to me. I would feel very bad and sad and confused as I really couldn’t remember much of that time. Used to feel that I am the worst person in that whole town, worse than even the thieves & murderers of our town.

One day, as usual I was crying carefully over it in my ‘favorite corner’ (others had labeled that corner as my favorite by then). I daren’t cry with tears those days because if I am caught crying with tears in my eyes, then my father would shout at me till I felt like running away, or my mother herself would start crying unstoppably and my father would shout and…

Well, to keep it short, my uncle came and put his hands on my shoulder and smiled at me… and told me, “hey buddy, you feeling sad because you are crazy? “Somehow holding my tears I nodded repeatedly. He patted my shoulders and said, “You know, almost everyone feels at times, that it would be better to go crazy and lose all control”.

I was amazed, and just stared at him. Then he looked far away and continued, “Yes, to escape from all these rules, to do what one feels like and blame it all on being crazy. Who has not thought that way more than once? He continued his song, but I had heard what I needed to; because till then it had never occurred to me that others might resent me for the state I am in…

I also am one of them,

Of human beings,

And at peace…

Yes, after a year he came, my uncle and my first question was about love. At first he just ruffled my hair and said, “Oh, my boy is all grown up now, eh?”, and walked away. But I followed him after lunch till he gave up, (I also knew he hated to smoke with me near him). “Well, my boy, just like there is no difference between being crazy the first time or the 100^th time or being crazy at 16 or 64; love also doesn’t have such differences… He stopped his verse then and asked me, “are you in love buddy?”.

I looked back at him squarely and replied, “Even I am not that crazy”. My uncle looked at me quizzically and then started laughing. Now I am the one who’s cracking jokes…

But soon my parents had a talk with my uncle and he became unusually quiet that whole after noon. But I knew he’d talk to me during our evening walk together to the temple. He never entered the temple but always would call out loudly to my mother, “we are going to the temple to pray”, and wink at me. I would also wink back at him. It was a routine thing, but it always made me feel like being on the inside of a joke.

Anyway, as soon our house disappeared from view, my uncle asked, “something happened, something happened, right? I heard a new social worker girl had come to rehabilitate”. He struggled with that long last word. “Is that why you asked about love?” His words now sounded bit broken. “Would you tell me everything?” He added ‘please’ as an afterthought.

I looked at him back with a strange realization. His face now seemed to have more creases and his voice seemed to have lost some of its melody.

I felt even my uncle is growing old like grandfather… “Well, of course I will tell you everything my uncle”, I started with unconvincing hilarity. I can’t make it into a song like him, I realized but braved on. You see, there was this girl, yes she called herself a social worker but she told me her name when I asked her. She would talk to me a lot and her eyes would stare at me and she would smile a lot. Mother and father were bit wary of her but she’d come every week to meet me.

Even though she talked about a lot of nonsense things, I liked to listen to her. At times strangely she would stop and tell me to talk and if I stop talking at these times she would become nervous and try to get me to talk more. At times I even felt like making up some problems and telling them to her, but as I liked her I didn’t lie.

One day she wanted to take me out to town. Mother was really worried but she let her. I was really happy to go out with someone other than a nervous family member. We went through the town and reached a new big building. Even though it was early evening it was lit up by hanging lights all over. There were many glass windows full of things. A new shopping mall, a really big one, it was, as she had told me. Can we go in for a look? I asked her with a big smile and to my surprise, she took my hand and we went in there. A big x-mas tree all lit up and gleaming new things were all around us.

I thought I found someone just like you uncle and laughed. Go on, my uncle gently prodded me. Yes, and as we stared around the mall, she still was holding my hands and were both laughing happily.

Then a guy came across us and she stopped smiling and our hands broke off. But I smiled at him. He ignored me first and asked her, “So this is the new guy who is crazy about you, eh? Or is he just plain crazy?” And made a strange laughing like sound. Then he turned to me and said in a slow drawl… “Helloo, good-evenijg, can-you-understand? Helloo, can-you-talk?” It was really strange, so I just stared at him. Then she suddenly burst out, “how dare you, he’s a schizophrenic, you should treat him nicely”. I was bit scared now as well, and the guy seemed shocked. Then she tried to grab my hand and drag me away and I punched her on the face… not hard though, but at that moment I couldn’t have cared.

“Then you ran away, right”? My uncle broke the sudden silence and brought me to that evening walk back. “Why buddy? Why did you do that? I don’t believe you did it because you are crazy”, Then he calmly waited for me to finish his sentence. “I was more angry at her than scared, because she was being nice to me all along because I am schizophrenic, not because I was nice to her and…” I somehow vocalized my thoughts for him and anxiously waited for his reaction.

“So, even you are not that crazy… now I get it”, my uncle completed for me and I too joined him as his loud laughter echoed from the temple’s stonewalls.

travel alone....

then all your pretensions fall down,
the real you emerges...

even if you are with a close friend,
even if he/she knows all about you
or even if you don't want to be away from any person,
and all such excuses,
merely indicate, you need to travel alone, my friend.

it takes a few moments (or days) of lone travel,
to reach the real you, inside...
so give that time for self,
as everything starts from there,
even the old excuses, you keep giving.

and to overcome those excuses,
just travel alone...
to strange places, where you dont know anyone!

travel alone... 
to meet people, otherwise you would never
have a sane reason to meet,
expand your awareness about self
and about cultural beliefs & opinions...

travel alone, my friend...
to meet like minded people,
who believe in being positive,
to be in harmony, to be balanced
to be pushed into new experiences...

and travel alone my friend...
to be a hippie...
its no religion, not even a commune,
but a way of thinking..
but if the word hippie scares you,
dont travel alone, stay home in comfy chair
because thats you then, doing your thing..

finally, yes, travel along my friend...
to connect with the universe...
as its when you interact with total strangers,
you find your true self, unmasked and real.

and that gives you happiness,
like you never felt before,
that you don't even think
about updating your status online,
or maybe you will do!

travel alone is not being alone...
its not about being lost in yourself,
take initiative to open up to others,
and be yourself...

being yourself means,
break away from old patterns and doubts
challenge your conditioned & predictable personality
make yourself a new person for others and that place.

travel alone, my friend...
you have suffered enough,
its time to rediscover your inner child
add nature to your friend list...

End of Disability...

Can we eliminate disability from our world?

A time, when there will be no disabled people in our world... can it be possible?

Of course, you readers should be skeptical.  But lets try to find some reasons for this hope.

Who is a disabled person? Someone who is not able.  But is there any person, who is not able to all? Does a physical problem make that person disabled?  Its only those who think they are not able, are the only truly disabled.   And in that same way, we cannot define who is NORMAL person, or what is Normalcy..  We are all human beings and we should celebrate our Uniqueness &/ Diversity.

Everyone actually has some strengths and weaknesses – in comparison to other human beings.  Not all human beings are equal in every way.  There will be differences of gender, heritage, region you are born in and region & conditions you are brought up in.  Level of immunity will differ, parenting styles will not be same for every human, and so is, skin, hair, voice, height etc. 

But, an enlightened person will try to utilize available resources to maximum level.  Using our creativity to deal with challenges is what makes our life spicy and worth living.  Rather than crying and being depressed about what is not available, leaves you in a pit made by yourself..  and its called as self-pit(y). 

 No one can escape discrimination and inequality in some way...  and thus, its easy to feel like a victim, and dependent.  The victim-hood is a favorite topic of media of other countries and they spread that feeling in the community.  Sympathy is shown to those who show that they are victims and helpless.  And aid is given to them, which keeps them dependent, and not help them to become independent.  This is a short cut.

Empowering someone should be the right approach.  Its not easy, and is difficult in the short term, but better in the long run. 

But where will the empowerment start?  Let's start with a famous quote, '”Be the change you want to be... in the world”.  You might have seen it and read it many times, but practicing it is very much required.  Of course its a quote by Gandhi, and today 2nd Oct 2014 is his 146th Birthday. 

For example, if you feel you have been discriminated against, or that you want to work for those who are discriminated and empower them, then... first be a role model of empowerment.  Do not shift the responsibility to some government, ministry, a group or to another person. 

Learn to stand up and communicate properly.  Learn to show qualities in yourself, so that others cannot discriminate you on the basis of your social stereotype, or community label.  If you have problem in one of the sense organs, or in the limbs, or in the mind, or one of the organs... don't let it become the center of yourself.

That is but just one aspect of yourself.  one part of your life.  Focus on your strengths and try to become a role model and be ready to show to the world that you are not helpless, you are not a burden... and that you are a person like any other, with some advantages and disadvantages...

Utilize your uniqueness to develop yourself and a valuable contributor in the society.  All the people who meet you would realize that their stereotype or label about a person with visual problems or so called disability is wrong... and one by one you will lead the social change.

There is widespread belief in the society that, people of certain race, region, gender, country, educational background, occupational group etc. Are inferior to others.  Do not just feel bad about such discrimination, if you are from one of those groups, which get discriminated. 

Empower yourself, put efforts into developing your skills.  Do not utilize that fire of hatred into feeling lousy and indulge in self pity.  That is a trap and that is easy to fall into as well.  

Instead, use that fire to energize yourself..   Focus on your communication skills, and increase your positive influence..   you will be able to see the discriminating mind set of society changing for the better through your influence.  Who doesn't wish for betterment?   But most lack initiative, so, be that initiator...    If you yourself remain withdrawn, crying, feeble and meek, then people will think that negative stereotype or label is true about your group.  and if you just sink back into self pity and inactive suffering, then aren't you actually are proliferating that stereotype by being one???

Just channelize that burning feeling inside you into empowering self and others.  You will see the difference, first on self and then on the viewpoint of others.  Thus show the world that its possible to end disability...  and create a world, where all humans are free to be themselves!

End cannot justify means...

The end does not justify the means.   What does it mean and why is it important to remember, even when it comes to positive change, known as development?

We must actually use sustainable development (SD), instead of just 'development' – as SD is a long term vision and not a short cut, or short term growth.  Please remember, development is and should be seen as SD... you will see the reason for adding this, as you read ahead.

Now back to 'The end does not justify the means' point – often human right violations, such as abuse, exploitation, violence are covered as a practical requirement, for a better future, a necessity for a good end result.

Countless rulers have used the excuse of Development, (that is development of their nation) – for waging wars, atrocities, genocide, biological warfare, imprisonment and even bombing out entire cities full of people.

And it is happening today as well, and every newspaper reading person will be aware of it. How many human rights violations have you read about, or experienced – which was done in the name of a nation or as a reason for national development in general?  Arresting people and beating them – violating their rights – in the name of national security, is another form of the same excuse.  As national security is required for national development.

In the same way, religious groups are targeted, harassed, mocked and even killed.  Using skin color to target certain groups, denying them full rights and keeping them as secondary citizens – because, they are portrayed as not worthy of contributing to the nations development, is another example, to justify abusive means or methods.  In the same way, political party members are targeted as well, blamed, shown as evil and bad.

And this is why, "The end does not justify the means".  The end result, or the goal can be a good or great one.  But the means to reach that goal or end result cannot be unethical or bad one.

Most of us are told, "end justifies the means", in different ways from our childhood, that is, to use any means possible to get our way – and as we grow up as adults, we see more and more such examples around us – people cheat, fake, copy, steal, lie, torture and even kill... for what they believe to be a good goal, a positive end result..  supposedly a better future.

It is easy to believe this cunning statement, 'Ends justify the means' – as it hides all the evil and exploitation – by showing a bright future.  But can bad and evil deeds and actions be accepted as a way to good? Gandhi was one person who focused on just means / fair methods, and he also tried to popularize "end does not justify the means".  and ofcourse, today, 2nd October 2014 is his 146th Birthday...

But some readers may not not convinced yet...

Here is another example - Using dangerous banned drugs in sports / athletics, to win gold medal – They won! They reached the end – the goal of winning...  would you accept it as the Right thing?

If not, then – imagine yourself as one of the sufferers, one of the discriminated, one of the accused, one of the tortured, or raped or killed.

Would you then accept it happily as your sacrifice for nation's development?
How can it be nations development, when the present citizens are troubled in the name of an imaginary future?
How can someone, who uses unfair and inhuman ways to reach his/her goal can be trusted in future to take care of you as well? Will you bet on such a person?  They are not hero's but villains.

So, voice your protest – against any such abuse, human right violation – done int he name of change for a better future, done against any religion, a political party, or any person. We all need to be aware and observant to realize, such schemes, as any leader can utilize such dirty tactics.   Remember that people who use negative means to achieve something – will become like Hitler, or Dictator Mussolini, once they get the power.  These 2 were most obvious examples.

so don't be late in raising your voice in opposition to political, or religious crucifications.  Make sure bad and evil means are not used with an excuse like, its all for development or betterment of people etc. Etc.

Voice your valuable opposition against such disgusting tactics.  Violence whether its physical or verbal – should not be accepted as a public means of communication.  And that is by following always – good and fair means, such as – ethical communication...  Not only for our nation, but for all of humanity.  and its not just for today, but for everyday.

travelling through time

these days so many 3D movies are coming out.  its almost as if, every new Hollywood movie is made for 3D.  Of course, to get the people to movie theaters from their huge TV sets at home, something more will have to be offered.  piracy through internet has also made movies available on most people's laptop.

anyway, we are not talking about such a change in technology.  i wanted to talk about the aspect of time travel, which is coming up so often in these 3D movies.  x-men - days of future past, tom cruise movie, edge of tomorrow to mention just few.  of course, going to the past or the future in time is amazing concept. its highly improbable, but nevertheless a juicy idea to play around with our limitations as a human being.  of all the species, only human beings can imagine be lost in this 'time travel' concept.

however, what about our everyday life?  aren't we traveling through time? even though in one direction, and without much control.  from present to future, with memories of past.  how much do we appreciate this everyday time travel?  a question i would like to ask myself every morning ;)

recently saw a movie called, goal 2: living the dream.  amazed by the football scenes from that movie, as that movie's hero is an international football player, for Real Madrid no less.  i have never ever seen such real life sports visuals in a movie ever.  after watching countless hours of football during fifa 2014 world cup, i was still stunned by the realistic (and even hyper realistic) football action shown in this movie.  but see the part 1 of this movie first, if you plan to watch goal 2.

recently, for a week, i was taking care of a dog.  a 6 month old Labrador puppy, was about to be handed over to another owner, and the in-between week, i was the keeper.  this dog thus stayed with me for most part of the day and whole of night as well.  she would swim with me, sleep just below my chair & bed, and was like a shadow, for a week.  then she had to be handed over to the new place, where she would be going. 

first i thought it was silly to 'miss' a dog, who was with me for just a week.  but it was tough, and i was really missing her presence, even after couple of weeks had passed.  generally i can let go very quickly (at times, even i get scared of this occurrence, as my 'let go' happens so quickly and without effort on my part..  so far, i had just accepted this 'let go' ability as a part of me, and that's how i deal with it, i guess).   so, this 'missing' feeling was something i never imagined i would be capable of.

well, maybe when it comes to attachment, dogs are different.  or maybe deep down, all humans are same. ;)

end of universe (check spoiler alert)

Take a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone, what kind of person would he be? (Of course, the writer expects it to be a male), the type who would be whistling delightedly while viewing Expendables 14…  In India, you can take a fan of any action star actor… say Salman Khan..  most of his movies he is a brawny, street gang leader, who harass women and use violence at the drop of a hat… but he is the Hero, and all his fans (they come by bus loads for his movies) whistle and dance around whenever he appears on screen. 

(this is not about narrow stereotyping, but beginning of a totally different topic... as important as the end of the universe..  that is, end of mythologies ;)              Spoiler alert **this write up is controversial, hurting so beliefs and maybe too personal (editors)**

Of course, the fan boys, as the star trek fans are called, do pretty much the same, and even are wearing costumes - How can you discuss something with these over the top fans? What will happen if you told them your disagreement about such an obsession?  Can you expect logical arguments in the form of words or…

Or take politics, and think of a rabid follower of a party.  It could be republican, or democrat..  Or Congress or BJP or other 100 such parties from India..  Or take any from any country.  How would a party card holding person will react to criticism or even probing questions? 

There is a saying, ‘there are no atheists in a fox hole’...  Fox hole as a trench in which you are hiding from enemy bullets.  It can be turned around as, ‘there are no believers in an operating table’ – otherwise they can pray and would not require anaesthesia.  Of course, the second saying is just an example.  The point is, let’s continue with the earlier 1 paragraphs..

Take a religious believer, and would this religious fan be willing to accept criticism about their god? Although most believers are non-believers of gods from other religions, and would find other mythologies utterly unbelievable and even funny. 

But why do people become believers?  They are not very aware of future, insecure and require a god (parent) figure to protect.  The parents indoctrinate the small children into this delusion.  Initially the parents are portrayed as the protectors and take-care-of-everything-people to the child.  It might foster dependence, but without that, there won’t be the love that they crave.  Parents wont feel needed, without developing the child to be dependent and needy.  Soon, this dependence is also transferred into a god/s… Who will forever remain the father figures (or parental figures to use political correctness). 

But, why do parents, who instinctively and hormonally are so attached to the well being of child, become willing to delude own children?  Well, why do parents want children? Is it so that they develop as superiors or is it because they want someone to give them affection and someone who will be in need of them?  It’s tough to give a brutally honest answer.  We all are conditioned not to give a honest answer to such questions.  There is also the old age fear of patricide / matricide… its common among animals to discard the old and the weak…  so, better delude the child than risk their independence.  Thus god as a creation could have happened somewhere else, but parents have a major role in propagating that belief.  A tool to bring uniformity..  to create factory production level standardization of human behaviour.. .  through fear & love of a delusion.

In mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, the patient develops complex stories to support their delusions.  Of course, the patient won’t think of them as stories, but as reality… One common factor to such stories is, inserting aspects which cannot be disproved easily.   How can this be done?  One is to claim to see a dead person – who becomes visible only to the patient.  It will be very difficult to prove / show that it’s a delusion.   Another common theme in delusional story is – being followed by CIA, KGB or some such secret organization.  The patient will claim that, such a secret organization is so skilled that they cant be seen by other people.  Alien abduction is another claim, which cannot be disproved using science & logic. 

And in belief of God and religion – there are soul, which cannot be disproved.  There are gods who have disappeared since invention of video camera, or cannot be captured by any human created device.  These also are so subjective, that science and logic cannot be used to disprove it / them.  And thus these myths get life in the minds of religious people.  There are already a big group of people to fan these beliefs.  If its too small a group, then they end up called as a cult.  For every fear, insecurity these believers will cling on to these god figures for protection, care and cure. 

And then it becomes a chicken or egg problem.  Do you talk to these believers about religion as a delusion first, or do you talk to these people about accepting an unpredictable future and developing tolerance of ambiguity?  If I am not hell bent on controlling my future, then I won’t require a god or almighty to support me in that venture.  If I am strong that way, then I won’t be demanding my children, or that members of a human created family system must love me to death (it can be wife, husband, father, mother, or any relationship, such as cousin brother of maternal grand father’s neighbour’s dogs previous owner).    

But I guess it happened to me through the other way – which is, first I started to question this myth and as I realized the religious beliefs as a myth… then over time, I had to accept that there is no god father in the skies or wherever, and I developed strength to accept reality as it is.  Our nature as a change process enabler, and lost my anthropocentric attitude and that the earth is only as small as an atom in a big huge universe…  and all I will leave after my insignificant life & death will be just this blog ;)

Abetting suicide?

As per Indian law 1860 act 360, abetting suicide is a criminal offence punishable with up to 10 years of imprisonment.  But what is defined as abetting suicide?  “If any person commits suicide, whoever abets the commission of such suicide, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.”

There are multiple aspects to consider.  First of all, attempting suicide as per law is criminal offence…   But then decriminalizing suicide would leave open a big loop hole for offenders who do such things to escape. 

The apex court said that different persons react differently to a given situation and, therefore, the factum of mensrea (criminal intention) of the accused has to be established for charging or convicting a person.

Unless there is an "active" act on the part of the accused to instigate the victim to commit suicide, a person cannot be charged or convicted for abetting the offence, the Supreme Court has ruled (2011 news).

Recent cases of abetting suicide charges in 2014 – Pondicherry B tech student’s suicide and 4 professors charged

14 year old girl who committed suicide in Chennai - below is a newspaper report of it. 

26^th feb 2014 – timesofindia, tamilnadu

PUDUCHERRY: The Puducherry police on Wednesday arrested four professors of a private engineering college on charges of abetting the suicide of a first-year girl student.
The police arrested Ernest Paul, Bhavani, Geetha and Priyadarshini following an inquiry by a revenue official over the alleged suicide of I Vinodhini, a first-year electrical and electronic engineering student of Sri Manakula Vinayagar Institute of Technology. Vinodhini allegedly committed suicide by jumping off the terrace of the five-storey college building on Monday.
The girl's uncle, M A Akbar, said the professors assaulted her in front of other students on Friday for faring poorly in studies. He said the faculty members denied permission to her to enter the classroom on Monday morning. This drove her to take the extreme step, he alleged.
Earlier, the girl's relatives refused to sign the documents for conducting the postmortem and demanded immediate arrest of the faculty members who allegedly harassed her. Only when the police arrested the professors on Wednesday evening did the girl's father, Ilango, sign the documents.
Another professor, Sethupathy, who was also booked, was not arrested after preliminary inquiries revealed that he was not involved in the crime.
On Wednesday morning, relatives and representatives of students' federation and parents' forums gathered in front of the Raj Nivas demanding the arrest of the professors.

Another news report, from Coimbatore... 

 Indian express, 3^rd march 2013

A 2nd year BCA student committed suicide by eating cow dung powder at her home at Pavizham Street in Coimbatore on Friday evening after she was reprimanded by lecturers at her college on suspicion that she had tampered with the attendance register to hide her poor attendance record. The principal of the college and some lecturers were booked on Saturday on charges of abetting suicide and for criminally intimidating the girl.

Police said K Mahalakshmi (20) had returned for classes at the Sri Ramakrishna College of Arts & Science for Women after being on leave for 16-days as she had gone with her family on a pilgrimage. Her lecturers scolded Mahalakshmi saying that she could not appear for the upcoming semester examinations as she lacked the minimum required attendance.  “Later, a few pages in the class attendance register were torn. The lecturers suspected Mahalakshmi had done this to destroy evidence of her poor attendance. Her mother Kamatchi was summoned to the college and was warned,” police said.

After returning home, Mahalakshmi consumed cow dung powder during a power cut between 6 and 7 pm. Kamatchi noticed her lying unconscious around 7 pm when the power was restored. She died as she was being taken to Hospital. Kamatchi and her relatives protested at the hospital premises on Saturday seeking action against college officials. “The teachers ill-treated Mahalakshmi. The girl repeatedly pleaded that she had not torn the papers, a relative. However, a spokesperson of the college denied that Mahalakshmi was harassed. “She confessed to having torn the papers after an enquiry by teachers. So, the principal merely asked her to submit a letter of apology.,” said the spokesperson.

How much undue pressure does this put on teaching profession?  How can it be addressed?  its a complex issue. 

Another related news from Tamilnadu below (there are news from other areas of India too, later on). 

TNN | Dec 20, 2013, 05.53AM IST

YAMUNANAGAR: Two years and a long legal battle later, a teacher has been arrested on Wednesday for abetting the suicide of a Class XII student of a private school here.
The student had set himself ablaze in December 2011. His mother Sunita had alleged that his teacher had driven him to take the extreme step. The boy also had left a suicide note in which he accused the teacher of harassing him.  With police failing to take action, the boy's mother approached the Punjab and Haryana high court pleading for action against the teacher.

I.I.T or Indian Institute for Technology are other hotspots for suicides (or, media is quick to report a suicide happening in such places.  there is even a blog which focuses on suicides in various IIT's).   Below is some excerpts from news reports:

a report about IIT Kanpur, which is infamous for highest number of suicides among IIT's...

“Students from no other state face such huge pressure, and my experience over the years shows that most AP students experience it (parental pressure).  Its unfortunate that some of these students take up extreme step unable to bear with pressure” (sanjay g dhande, former director, iitk – taken from a newspaper article from internet)

Another report about IIT Bombay... 
 "With increase in student suicide rates, there is an immediate need to address academic, emotional and psychological attributing factors faced by the students. Accordingly, there is a need to establish and enhance a professional counselling service programme at IIT Bombay," said Sandeep Pandya from the 1986 batch, who is also treasurer of the IIT Bombay Heritage Fund (IITBHF).

The programme, says a white paper on the project, will look at recruiting professional, high-quality medical/psychological counsellors and creating a collaborative programme to leverage expertise and assistance from top medical/psychological institutes in Mumbai. It will also focus on formalising and providing mentoring services through the alumni community to help with career counseling and industry mentoring.

The batch aims to raise Rs 2.25 crore for their legacy project, where 50 per cent of the contributions are expected to come alumni in India and the rest from those abroad. "The 1986 batch legacy is to strengthen existing and create new programmes related to students and is the first batch to adopt this approach," says the white paper.

A report from Maharashtra state... 

The hindu - maharashtra, January 10, 2012

The mother of a 16-year-old girl student has blamed four teachers of a school in Shirala in Sangli for her suicide.

Hemlata Patharbale, in her complaint with the police on January 6, has accused the four teachers of the New English School of harassing her daughter Komal Patharbale, a class 11 student.

Ms. Patharbale has filed the complaint on the basis of the suicide note left by the girl. The complaint apparently narrated the incidents leading up to the suicide and accused the son of a police constable studying in the same institution of harassing Komal.

Although Komal had brought this to the notice of the teacher, action was not taken.

Instead of preventing the harassment of the four teachers started insulting and taunting the girl with obscene comments, the mother said in her complaint.

The humiliation by the teachers prompted her to take the extreme step, she added.

Now, connecting suicides by farmers... 

 

In 2012, more than 13,000 farmers killed themselves in India.

Most were saddled with steep debts, having failed to pay back loans they had taken from banks, micro-finance companies and money lenders after their crops failed. Farm suicides - nearly 300,000 since 1995 - are India's shame, a colossal national tragedy.  But, can the lenders be lawfully charged with abetting such suicides?

From mental health point of view, depression as an illness can lead to suicidal behaviour.  But there might not be a long standing mental illness in many a case of suicide.  In the same vein abetting homicide also could be claimed.  But then, the Indian supreme court’s comment that there has to be an active and criminal intention to prove abetment of suicide.  Similarly are banks abetting suicide of farmers?

Similarly would legal provisions come up with abetting homicide?

Living in present...

It’s like holding on to a yoga posture and living that moment – with being aware of each moment through our body and shifting forward to next pose and reliving that same present awareness again.  In such a process, I accept as I am & the world around as it is.  

 There is a part connected to the dissolving past, and another welcoming the emerging future, though they are connected as a flow...  acceptance of that flow and not aiming for a static experience we can hold on to, but going with that flow...  and thus blend with surroundings, blending with nature.

 An experience such as this occurred while doing a beach run to me.  Fort unately there was an empty beach, with fluffy sand and time enough for

a long run.  Initially there were lots of thoughts crowding the awareness, but as the run progressed, and strain increased due to lack of physical activity in the office since almost couple of years.  This strain and breathlessness enforced a heightened level of concentration, where the single step awareness, a short present sense remained.  

 Whole body awareness of each muscle in the body pushing toward the next step exploded through the mind and without any effort, I was able to keep my mind at that.  It was almost as if time stood still and the world too in a way, though there was movement and efforts and intense feeling of being alive.  A brief sense of one feet pulling away from behind and similar sense of the other feet pushing forward were there, but the middle sense of being in that present with my whole body straining was the major present sensation.  

Could this feeling, which can be addictive, be the reason for people going for long distance running? Maybe, but its a tough things to maintain, as its not easy to find time, place and yourself free to go for such a run and such a fun.

Mumbai local train – yoga (similar to Ashtanga yoga ;)

I had been out of touch with Mumbai and its local train journey during rush hours, for few years.  But fortunately I got a chance to do it once again recently.  I could not help compare it with Ashtanga yoga session I did recently with it.  In Ashtanga yoga, you take a yoga posture and maintain that pose for few seconds, and then change. 

After I pushed myself in and was pushed by people rushing in to the train, even though it seemed impossibly full of people, the local-yoga session started.  There is another thing – you don’t do these yogic postures on your own, but it’s a group thing – everyone does their own postures, but since everyone is so closely packed together, what others do affects you as well.  It goes like this –

There is a steel bar above, and steel hand holdings as well.   

But, as soon as I got in, the train started moving, but postures also began.  I was pushed ahead from waist above, and had only enough space to stand on my toes, and to maintain my balance, held on to the steel bar above.  On my sides, 2 people doing their pose, also press me from both sides.  After sometime, I realize I cannot hold that pose anymore… I gently and not so gently push around, and move my feet at the same time to change.  A more comfortable pose now, where my back is straight, and weight is on my feet.  But next railway station arrives, and a group of people leave the yoga session and jump out without any goodbyes, and another group jump in unceremoniously. 

Everyone’s pose change.  I am pushed to my left side, and my back on one side is pushes to a strange angle…  I try to straighten up, with help of my hands on the steel bar on top, and have to push with my fingers with all my might.  I realize new muscles based on my fingers and am pushing myself to the limit.  But am pushed beyond my limits and there is a feeling of relief as I realize some hidden strength from inside, and that I can keep on going for few more seconds than I ever thought possible.  I change my feet, and the man next to me also helps by changing his pose. I bend my knees and put my weight on feet again and push back my waist and relax my arms. 

Another station arrives.  This keep going on, and the station where I am supposed to get off is nearing.  I move towards the door and prepare for departure.  Near the door, there is more wind and it cools down my sweaty body a lot.  Just before the station arrives, vigorous push from inside by all those who want to get out makes me change my posture and I have to put all my strength into my hands to keep myself inside the train… the next crowded station appears in a blur of faces, and as soon as the train stops, we jump out of the yoga session.  I walk a few more steps, and then stand and look around at people rushing past.  After a half a minute calming down stance, I start my walk towards an apartment near the station. 

Another free Mumbai local yoga session is over. 

this picture - what all does it tell you?

this picture - brain washes a lot.  what all does it tell you?

every kid dreams of the same luxurious things..  and they are sad, when they don't get it. 

it doesn't matter, whether their parents are loving and caring, the child will be miserable without those THINGS

you are supposed to think about disappointments of your childhood and those moments, when you were angry at your parents, because they didn't get you (buy you) certain THING... and you thought of it as a symbol that they do not love you...

so, you better feel nostalgic and guilty - for feeling anger and hating your parents - in your childhood... it was YOUR fault,

that you wanted those THINGS, and media had no role to play in that image and concept of YOURS... 

its the duty of parents to look after children - and if they are poor and can't afford the best for their children, they will be condemned by others..  and the worst of all, their children will hate them, be angry at them..  and would not think about love and care at all, till they see such a sentimental picture years later.

parents should love and care their children and the children too must do that... otherwise they all should feel guilty..  and soon, this family thing becomes a close knit group, a clique, who will try to get the best for each other, while exploiting others, because getting THINGS for each other in the family is most important..

but they will teach the kid superficially that selfishness is a bad thing.  they will also condemn the social moral standards, and how much competitive things have become, due to insatiable greed of others and crazy consumption patterns...

what else?
(of course, some people would be offended..  because, since decades, they have this emotional connect with family members (other human's don't matter)... and they feel its natural..  i would throw 'anthropocentric' on their face, if they'd ever realize what that is.   what we feel now is due to centuries of brainwashing... worst of all, gender based brainwashing)..  now again returning to..

WHAT ELSE?