are anxious people taking over the world?

a lot of problems the world is seeing are due to the feeling of lack of time.  people who can relax and are satisfied with doing 10 things in a day are accused of being lazy and stupid/unsuccessful and people who run around and accomplish 25 things in a day are considered ideal role models and successful people. 

why are these people doing 25 things? because they are constantly dissatisfied, and want to achieve more, show to others that they have done so much, crave appreciation and limelight, want to record that they have done 100's of great things in their life and influenced history more than any other person, before they died.  basically anxious about their own self worth and their worth in the eyes of others, not just from present time, but from historical perspective.  these people would be craving to live not just 100 years, but 1000's of years and still not be satisfied. 

and how are these people destroying the world? - one simple example to start with.  the rate at which things degrade in our nature is slow.  bio-waste will decay and mix up with earth in about 1 month to 3 month time.  other things like wood etc will take more time.  but, these people, who want to live 3 lifetimes within their 1 lifetime, consume 10 times the products that they are supposed to consume in that time.  thus they try to do more in the limited time, and the nature cannot do that.  the nature is not supposed to speed up its processes that way.  (if nature did that, these people would be dead within 1/3rd of their life span as well). 

thus, there is a technological race, to do more, achieve more, and its never ending.  technology will never catch up with this human greed pace, because, its greed which is driving this race for technology. 

these people should be made aware and relaxation and going at the pace of nature should be encouraged.  but our school and educational systems and later the corporate world are doing the exact opposite.  they try to light up a fire on the backside of everyone and make everyone run faster in the rat race.  the media and especially advertisements propagate it to no end.  (of course, the slow TV is a different phenomena and is probably indicating a change in this fast, faster and fastest mentality). 

imagine, as far back as you can.  if you are 25, maybe you can think about 10 or 15 years back...  how were those days? how were things around you?  how was nature?  how many people were around those days? and most IMPORTANT...  what was the PACE of life in those days and the pace of life now? 

between the sun rise and sun set, how many things are you trying to accomplish now?  and where all does it end?  will any of it matter after a 1000 years?  or after 10,000 years?  this earth is more than 4.5 billion years old.  that is 4500 million years...  or 10,000 years happening for 45,000 times!!!  (its mind boggling to be short, and i am not a math expert).

so, is it worth all the stress you are now taking and sacrificing all the leisure that you are planning to take up after retirement?  maybe its time for anti-anxietyism to come up.  what would be a term for it - relaxism or peacefulism?  try to think up a term for it.  come on, you can take that thought break.

remember that, feminism took a long time to bring down masculinity and a more equal world...  so, it will be a long struggle for relaxism people, to make the world less competitive and have equal say in the way world is run from relaxed perspective.  but do spread this word for world peace ;)

What is your coaching style?

In psycho technical term, this can be phrased as, what is your most frequent behavior modification style?  Without worrying about jargon, let me get to the point. 

We all try to modify behavior, our own and others as well every day.  Certain behaviors we want to encourage /increase and some we want to discourage /decrease.

For example, related to self, I want to encourage daily workout and eating salad before every dinner.  And want to reduce delaying my night sleep time and reduce eating sweets.  How do I go about it? Very simply, reward and punishment (positive and negative) are 2 ways to go about it.  Reward behaviors to be encouraged and punish behaviors to be discouraged, and neglecting or ignoring would be another alternative way to modify. 

Based on the above simple premise, I will have a tendency to either use reward and neglect a wanted behavior and punish or neglect an unwanted behavior.  Very few would have a balanced approach.  So, becoming aware of my tendency will be the first step.  Tracking such a tendency will be tough as it would have become habitual by now to the point of instinctive reaction.  We can get help of an objective observer to track our tendencies, or you can take video of a simulation. 

One situation where these tendencies come out easily is during sports coaching sessions.  Take an informal coaching session, suppose you are giving ball catching practice to a kid / junior.  You are supposed to throw a ball and coach the other person to become a better catcher of the ball.  Take the first 20 throws and comments into account.  Generally your behavior modification style would become evident by then.  i.e. whether you focus on positive or negative comments and how much you use neglect / ignoring of either reward or punishment will become evident. 

 Similarly amount of praise or criticism is used to change self also can be found out.  Self coaching style might be more difficult to find out in an objective way, but it would be worth the effort. 

It would be best to check this all by ourselves first, but i can’t help jumping ahead with one point.  Generally human beings don’t like criticism and prefer encouragement.  It would be true for children anyway, if you think back to your own childhood experiences.  

Of course, identifying and segregating which specific behavior elements to be encouraged or discouraged is another challenge altogether.  But first one step, or one blog at a time... ;)

newspaper articles with focus on 2 topics...

While on travel from one place to another, to observe and learn about ecologically friendly life styles is a rewarding experience, but lack of internet connectivity and difficulty in getting English newspapers can be bothersome at times.  However, the change in daily routine of glancing through a national newspaper gets replaced by detailed reading of newspaper with great curiosity is an advantage. 

Recently I read through a newspaper on Sunday and found multiple articles related to 2 major topics.  Few articles focused on marriage as an institution and monogamy related to it.  Increasing divorce rates as an indicator of crumbling of culture was focus on one article.  Another one was on whether monogamy required in marriages have biological basis or not.  A third one stated the need for lifelong companionship as a human requirement, which was personal viewpoint of the writer and differed drastically in style with the scientific view of the other article. 

The second topic written about in more than one article was about banning of a book on Hinduism in India by Penguin publishers, with more arguments in support of the ban as it hurts religious sentiments of a large majority. 

What connected these 2 topics was the lack of balanced view and discrimination against minority groups, who would have contrasting beliefs / opinion or lifestyle. 

A minority population, who would be non-believers or atheists, might not agree with the ban.  What if these non-believers wanted a ban on all religious books, as they are an insult to their belief/opinion / lifestyle?

There was an interview of a starlet, which was not directly connected to the marriage articles, but she had stated that, she might not get married at all, as she had not seen in her life of about 30 years, even one single married couple, who inspire her to get married.  Which provoked a similar probe for me as well…  but let’s keep my opinion aside first, and as a reader, do a similar analysis yourself.  How many happy marriages have you observed in your life so far and how much have they inspired you to be pro-marriage as well?  What is the % of happy married couple v/s unhappily married couples from your analysis? 

The problem is that – discrimination against minorities gets neglected and majority as righteous seem to gather strength, as it’s the easy way out. 

And being part of any minority belief / opinion / lifestyle has more than one disadvantage.  Not only you are legally and socially enforced to follow the majority one, but also get mocked and given advice by self-righteous and un-aware majority at every turn.  A recent example would be, how LGBT supporters in India would be feeling after Supreme Court rule in 2013 against them.

Every one of us has minority beliefs / opinions / lifestyle…  How do we feel when they are opposed?

Largest democracy in the world, India goes to parliamentary polls in mid 2014

A corruption free India seems to be a major focus in India this year, as its going for Lok Sabha elections.  Would it be possible to have a corruption free government or system?  Corruption free politicians, government officials etc, is it possible?

We can’t expect one part of society to be corruption free, when its prevalent everywhere else. 

Why corruption is there?  Because there is greed, because there is insecurity – and these lead to hoarding behavior.  No amount of resources or wealth seems enough due to fear of future.

If a person buys 20,000 umbrellas or 50 thousand caps (not as a trader or for business), we will consider them crazy.  But if a person accumulates 50,000 crore of rupees, we hail them as successful, or consider such dreams as healthy or good.

We have to also clean up corruption from – various institutions, educational, financial, production, travel, construction & religious institutions etc.  and reduce hoarding behavior encouraged in all these places.

Why does gods require gold and cash?  Why do temples, mosques, church etc. hoard things, especially like gold & diamonds?  When will donations to such places become transparent and require legality to donate any resource?

Gods don’t gold / money – it’s the organizers who run these places who need it and hoard it.  (It’s funny to see in India, there is a gold shortage, but tons of gold remains locked up in temples, which artificially keep on increasing its price). 

When will a CA (chartered Accountant) refuse to illegally evade tax for their clients?  When will a parent refuse to use their resources / power to illegally get admission to their child? 

When these things happen, corruption from politics also will vanish. 

So are we ready to clean up ourselves first?

1 Nenokkadine, a movie shoot

by chance had chance to see a movie shoot in mumbai.  it was shooting of a dance scene, in bandra, mumbai.  it happened at a place called royalty, .  the shoot involved about 15 to 20 people wearing hat and striped coat and dancing in the background.  the hero was mahesh babu (telugu film hero), and main actress/dancer was sophie chaudhary.  there were half a dozen english girls, who were part of the professional dancing crew as well.  and about 30 white foreigners as extras, standing around the scene - which was supposed to be a club in London!

the shoot went on from like 12 noon to 830pm in the evening.  it was intense work for the whole crew.  the dance director, from chennai (forgot his name), was giving instructions in 4 languages, telugu, tamil, hindi and english.  (sophie chaudhary was speaking in english, and i dont think she knows telugu or tamil, but she was the fastest to learn and often used to complete it her stuff in just couple of takes.  she was on heels the whole time, wearing a sequined dress, which would have made it tough to sit down, without crumpling it.  how she managed to express intense energy required for the shoot remains unknown.  i became a fan just on the basis of focus and energy she induced).  \

it was very time consuming work.  first they will play the song for 15 to 30 seconds.  then choreographers will show the moves and immediately the background dancers will pick it up and do it.  then, light and camera focus/angles will be set, with the same part of the song playing, and dancers dancing.  in the place of the main dancers (hero & heroine), 2 dance masters will occupy and show the moves.  then h & h will take their positions and rehearse with dance masters guiding them.  then actual shoot takes place.  all around people who are in the club also dance like anything - and energy explodes from everyone around.  the final take would be okayed after 3-4 attempts or even 10-12 attempts.

then, immediately now part of the song will be rehearsed in the same manner.  there is chaos everywhere and lots of people going in and out.  food is available at regular intervals and tea is kept in a corner most of the time.  i was barefoot, and nobody really noticed it.  maybe another barefoot first - being in a shoot.  but the whole place was pretty ok to walk barefoot.  i met lots of new people, and in between takes we will chat, about world peace to world cinema to card tricks.  a spanish guy showed amazing card tricks - he shows you a card and then in a minute guesses which card you saw.  then he keeps a card in his pocket and ask you to guess a card, and then takes out that same card from his pocket.  i just couldn't figure out how he did it, even though i saw 2 of his tricks, and i selected the card in 1 of them.

mahesh babu was the lead actor and he was focused and focused on work.  all the people were mostly polite and helping each other and giving suggestions to improve.  i am sure, its not easy to be calm in such an intense work schedule.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1_(2014_film)

will write more about it later..  it was a huge experience and had lots of insights.  would say, must for once in your lifetime...

Being a barefooter…

Every time i put my foot down,

It reminds me, i am naked,

Vulnerable, human and rooted to this earth..

Every time, I see someone else

Stare at my bare feet, and say nothing

I feel conscious, of causing disturbance

In peaceful urban Mumbai life…

Second nature it has become,

To walk over broken stones,

In last 6 months, had no scratches on feet

But mind becomes turbulent, am I right?

Almost one in a million, the infamous way…

Had I declared affinity to an organized religion,

Or penance or asceticism as reasons,

Would things have been different?

As my replies to why barefoot, grow shorter

Along with enthusiasm, as others seem to feel

Forced to offer me excuses for not being barefoot,

But I am still rebelling, struggling & remaining human.

meaning...

what do you want
to do with your life,
which purpose to select
from a thousand wishes...

means are more important
than what you want
haunt they if you win,
securing insecurities...

but that's a distraction,
while pondering on about a goal,
and it also rhymes with a girl,
but, let's watch a cricket match...

untitled short story...

there is an international symposium on psychology.. . and people from different countries gather together.

an english guy gets into discussion and gets into a group of french group, and while chatting up with this french group, meets a group of students from india. he falls for one of them straight away.

infatuation, he defines it, as a nutty psycho will do to himself, he analyzes his emotions, and is unable to reach any conclusions.
her unknown culture scares him a bit too.

but, during the dinner outs, he finds out, its he, birthday (it was no secret, it was a talkative group). without much of a hope, he just checks with the restaurant manager, whether a birthday cake can be arranged. the manager agrees. the group members, all those possible, are informed in secret whispers!

its amazing, as even though there are people from some 12 countries, they all are excited about it. and all act their parts, without revealing any secret.

then, voila, comes the cake out!
(ok, it was not dramatic

anyway, there's not much to say
you all know what happened,
another night began in beach town!

somebody else, please write the girls part ;)

'jungle hostel', at vagator, goa

as a friend recommended, i decided to check out, a place in goa, near vagator beach.  this place is for tourists, like a motel, but its designed to feel like hostel.  which means, you live like a small community, and generally everyone interacts informally, and plan to do things together, in small or big groups.  that's the general idea, and jungle hostel i feel exceeds it all.  there is just one receptionist, and about 20 people can stay here.  there are bunk beds in the dorm area, and the charge for dorm bed is rs.350/- per day, including breakfast. there are couple of part time workers, who clean up and go every morning.

there is a small library, a big lounge to relax and chat up with everyone, wi-fi, hammocks, and mostly a self service system, which is perfect for a great stay with many like minded souls, who are backpacking through india.  of course, you can buy juice, snacks etc. here as well, but its again self service, as you take what you want, and write it down on the notebook nearby, and pay for it later.  everyone is honest and manage the place as if they own it, and no controls & supervision is required.  its amazing to live in that kind of liberated self regulation.  develops "psychological ownership', if you need jargon.

its about few minutes walk away from the vagator beach, but in a very silent area and with excellent surroundings, as its an independent bunglow type structure. you can get your clothes washed in a washing machine at a cost, and most things are very reasonbly prized.  but you will have to book through internet beforehand, search for goa jungle hostel, vagator.

well, so i got in here yesterday afternoon, and by evening and later at night met lots of people and had long discussions. i tried consciously to limit my talk time, and listen more to others...  there were people from germany, switzerland, japan, poland, england... and they all talked about things they've seen and future plans etc.  lively discussion groups seem to happen so organically as the place is designed in that way, and people pick up a cushion to sit on and place it near the group they want to join in..

the next day, relaxed in the morning and picked up a book from library at random, called 'how i braved anu aunty and found a million dollar company', by varun agarwal.  an unputdownable book for me, because its so much about middle class india, and 20 somethings living in cities. published in 2009, it still is pertinent to 2013's...  and later, travelling out to nearby beaches, and so it goes on...

canyoning

canyoning is a term to describe an adventure sport - basically you climb down a waterfall, using various means, like rappelling, jumping, and other such methods.  a waterfall is a downstream flow of water, generally through rocky surface.  mostly the waterfall travels through many georges, or steep inclines, and at times through flat surface.

where i did canyoning was, about 25 km away from palolem beach, goa.  somewhere south of goa, in a reserved forest area.  the 'goa jungle adventure' group, who take you through these canyoning is run by 2 french guys, lido and manu.  they have various programs, from half day to multiple day canyoning, from easy level to very difficult levels.  i went for 'bijoux', which is moderate difficulty canyoning, where you can jump from 16 meters (optional) to 5 meters (not optional).  you have to rappel down through many places as well, again ranging from few meters to maybe 20 meters or more. (i didnt measure).

so, the canyoning started at 9.30am, where we met at 'fiesta' a restaurant near palolem beach, where they provided the gear.  this cost around 2200 rupees, in nov-2013.  they provide wetsuit, helmet, harness, and rappling rope, a bag to carry all that, and there is a guide/instructor, who will take you through all this.  Lido was my group's guide on nov-1st.  there were 3 other people from england in this group.

then after initial instructions, and trying out the wetsuit for your size, and if you want shoes, they provide that too.  (pssst... i was barefeet ;).   also, for about 260 rupees, they will take your photos and give it to you on a pen drive.  then we took off in Lido's jeep/car, which is an open one, and great funto ride.  we rode about 25 km (again its a rough guess), through canacona, and then into reserved forest.  after couple of hours, we reached the spot and walked through jungle paths towards a waterfall.  there are leaches in that forest, and even though its not a big problem, they are an irritants.  but its all part of this tough adventure you have already begun...

within like 20 or so minutes of walking, we reached a waterfall, and wet rocks all around.  we started climbing it down, first walked a bit, then started with rappelling.  Lido hooked his special rope on to a hook, and told us how to do it, and down we went.  rappelling is bit tricky, but easy enough to learn and very thrilling.  you have control of your life, and there are ahrdy rocks all around you and you have to focus and be calm and climb down, literally holding on to your life.  once you reach down at the end of that waterfall, you swim few meters ahead on to a rock, which is a resting place.

then others rappel down, and finally Lido will rappel down, making it look very easy, and then take off the rope, round it up, put all that into his big bag, and join you to next level.  you walk and next could be another rappelling or jump.  for us, it was a jump next, and we jumped down about 5 meters down.  it looks scary, as there are rocks jutting all round the deep pool of water, and you have to jump right in the middle of it.

there are various types of jumps.  in some places, you jump ahead, with lots of push.  at some places, you just drop down, without pushing yourself... and at places, you aim at the center of the pool, as there are rocks all around, and jump at that target.  its a leap of faith, and at the point of jump, you have to let go and push yourself.  when you hit the water and you sink and then you come up, and when you realize that you are totally ok!!!... that's a great feling, indescribable.

in rappelling too, you have to let go.  basically, you put the rope through your harness (there are metal loops), and if you are right hander, then, you hold your left hand up, and control the rope, and with your right hand at your hip, you slowly release the rope bit by bit.  you have to try to keep your body at 90 degree angle, and balance yourself, on your hip, so that your body's weight is centered on your hip, and then you release the rope and move your feet down in synchronization.  its not easy, but its a skill to master.  as you keep doing it, you start improving, and its a great thrill to realize you are in better control of your life.

and so on, we went...  some rappelling, and distance downward was increasing.  it was not just going down a rock, but going through falling water as well, which made it more thrilling.  its scary, tough, but somehow you find an innerstrength, which surprises you in a pleasant way and you make it, and then off you swim into mountain clear & cold waters, onto next rock.  the 3 people, 2 girls and a guy, were very sporty and adventurous, so there were no problems at all.  of course, credit goes to Lido, the instructor, who was calm all the way, and inspired confidence.

even when i was standing at the height of 12 meters, and looking into a deep pool of water, surrounded by big black rocks, at his count of, 3, 2, 1... go..  we all used to jump.  a leap of faith everytime.  i wont' say i came unscathed, because, there were few cuts, where i rubbed on rocks, while climbing, but they were small scratches, and since i was so excited and thrilled at the things i was doing, there was no pain at all.  those small scars (tiny surface wounds), i carry with me, with lots of pride.  so, this way, we rappelled down, maybelike 7-8 times, and jumped 7-8 times, during this course of canyoning.  it was non-stop fun all the way.

at the end of the waterfall, i guess we might have came down about few hundred meters, and travelled some kilometers.  then we walked up, to the jeep, which was parked in the middle of the jungle.  there were leaches again, on the forest path, but became a minor irritants, as we had faced much greater danger and fear already.  whenever a leach jumped up at my feet, i just brushed it aside with my other leg.  (it was more often, as i am a barefooter, but no problem at all).

then we got on to the jeep, and travelled back, totally satisfied and feeling great about ourselves.  in some places where the leaches had bit me in my leg, the blood didn't stop, and kept oozing, but those wounds were now pride evoking than pain...

i reached back at palolem, at about 615pm, and straightaway went for a swim, and hoped the salty water of the sea will help, and then had a run in the beach and then for a long bath in the bathroom in non-salty water.  fresh as ever, then went for dinner and to get the photographs from Lido, which were ready as he had promised us at 8pm.  lots of chatting about the day's adventures along with a great dinner at 'fiesta', the night began to dawn!

i will add the facebook page link of 'goa jungle adventure' organizers.

already this blog is too long, for any sane person to read...  but then so is canyoning.  there are many psychological insights, i thought i got in this adventure. the need to break out comfort zone for one to go beyond yourself (previous programming, done on you by, instinct, society, family, friends and self ;)
letting go, and learning to calm yourself enough, to be at your best to deal with extreme difficulties is another insight.  in rappelling, you have to do something un-natural.  we have to suspend ourself in the air, with the help of harness.  its almost 90 degree posture in comparison to land.

we dont like to leave ourselves hanging like that! (actually no surprises there).  so, i see, many people, while rappelling down, lean up from their waist, and reduce their sense of balance and control.  it's a prime example of the philosophy of letting go.  here, if you can let go, then you reach next level of expertise.

anyway, enough of insights.  i am stopping here, but if you want to ask questions or comment, don't do that please... ;)  just kidding.  see ya...

oh, one more thing..  everyone has some fear/s in their life.  often we are afraid to face those fears, because we feel, if i uncover them from the depths of mind, they will take me over.  but, this canyoning teaches you to (maybe not teach, it has become such a dirty word due to methods of pressure education), but gives you the experience to face some of your worst fears.  as worst fears are of survival, and you are jumping or taking a rope and climbing down into some abyss, in this canyoning...  thus when you overcome them and rapple down, or jump down and come out breathing, its a great feeling... you have faced some of your worst fears and came up floating.

...this experience toughens you up to face other fears dwelling in your mind.  you realize, you can uncover them and face them, and take it up as a challenge and realize what life is all about.  facing challenges wholeheartedly till your last day..  so, every wanderer's dream of getting something out a journey gets fulfilled here.  in psycho-terms, its more like 'flooding' but i am a fan of it, and experiment on me many a times.  and i can definitely say, it has changed me.  its an epiphany moment!

Being rich=Successful...

Being shameless / guilt free at exploiting others to become rich..  has this become the mantra these days?

Would you agree that, all high power CEO’s have the common ability to NOT feel guilt or shame (in comparison to lower level achievers) about cheating / exploiting others out of their teeth and skin? (Maybe they can justify it with their ‘ends’… i.e. final goal, and take shortcuts in regard to values and means, as practical way).

Do sensitive people remain behind? Are these people called nice guys? (from nice guys finish last).  Doesn’t seem illogical that nice people don’t succeed, but not nice people do?

Of course, there are dozens of hero’s, who are pride of their nation in history, and they seem to be shining with goodness and honesty like gods themselves.  But if critically examined, how many of them practiced these values day in and day out in reality? What do you think?

Lets leave the above hypothetical question behind.  But have you ever felt that, crime does pay, and criminals and exploiters of other people get away with current legal system, whose motto is, let 1000 criminals escape, but one innocent should not be punished?

I am not asking for dictatorship or cruel punishments or an eye for an eye.  There is no proof that even death penalty reduces crime.  But, how to deal with this aspect of rise in shamelessness, a feeling that, I can get away with financial crimes and even atrocities? – the issue is, how to have a more human, cooperative society, rather than worship-rich-people-at-any-cost attitude?

One of the simple ways to find out how huge inequality is present in our world is by checking “if there are just 100 people in this whole world” (google it).  Maybe its time to think about another type of economy, which is not based on money as credit, status, or the only resource.

Should the past inheritance of a person be converted into money and be gifted to them as a hereditary lottery? Can we have an alternative economic system, which measures and gives credits/resources on the basis of contribution each person gives to the society?

It will have to be sustainable, this contribution or creation, that a person gives to society as a whole, that must be measured, to provide credit/resources/status to that person.  Money can buy everything will have to be changed, or the nature of money as sole resource be eliminated. 

This way, each individual will be encouraged to create/contribute in a meaningful way to make the world richer, wealthier – but not just in monetary terms. 

This evaluation and providing credit should be a continuous process, and they should have an expiry date, or period, to discourage piling up of huge credits at one go and live on it throughout for generations.  The past should not be a bed to lie down, but a spring to push forward. 

Of course, its another utopian dream concept, (half baked), but shouldn’t we all utilize little bit of our thinking time to find and encourage, a more equal, positive, cooperative soviduals?