What is a 'good' relationship?

When 2 people, come together, connect on the basis of common values (aspects they agree as common purposes)...

and directions in which they'd like to move ahead.. shape themselves and others & world..

and in ways, which seems to them as fair and just.. without harming them & others & world.. (i.e. internally & externally).

Then, they'd feel that – together they can achieve more... and

they complement each other..

balance each other..

compensate for each others weaknesses & strengths...

when one person is particular about something, some way, the other person is not particular & can let go...

take lead or follow... with awareness.

then, that relationship, connection would be really worth trying for.. worth keeping on..

(there are so many relationship addicts, who hope for a miracle relationship for all their problems.. I have read & seen, some people suffer through blatant physical harassment, for many many years. For some, its till death.. even though they are not really masochists. (I mean, mental harassment can be not so easy to objectively see, as concrete as physical evidence, and easier to deny at times)..

and, other people, when they hear such an incident narrated, often wonder, “why didn't she/he realize, that abusive partner is lying and repeating abuse, all these years? How dumb can it be? .. (its judgemental, and the victim of such abuse shouldn't so judged).

But, I do wonder, why does it takes, otherwise, a logical, rational, intelligent person, sometimes doesn't realize they are in a trap, 5 years, 10 years, or multiple narrow escapes of getting murdered etc? Etc? Why are they willing to allow children to be similarly endangered as well? … my guess is, they really are not figuring out, what is a 'good' relationship. (of course, relationship is not necessarily, a family, marital, business/professional etc. it can be any relationship.. any kind of partnership, team).

So, to figure out, whether a relationship, a partnership, a team is worth keeping... we have to have an idea.. where will it go? What would be the status of both of us in this relationship a bit ahead in future? Will it be up-down or will it be based on equality?

Generally, when 2 people meet for the first time, their status, information level, age, resources, emotionality, skills, awareness (self / others), confidence etc wouldn't be similar.

But the general directions, they'd be heading would be towards, a more equal contributions and development of each other – as an empowering person... towards a flat level of hierarchy.. an equal status (maybe friendship can be used to indicate such a relationship, where there is mutual respect, where both are strong, and not only allowed to be so, but encouraged as well.. and without a power-control game as a hidden agenda in their interactions. (of course, getting over fear of being open about who you are, and what you want out of life, to your partner is essential.. otherwise, its a sham, charade and often worse than hard imprisonment).

So,a good relationship should lead to that equal status, sometimes gradually – but, definitely in that direction.. in that direction of empowerment... and towards equal status/ friendship – regardless of personal differences in information, age, gender, education, resources, skills, talents etc. a level – where they can treat each other as equals, in an informal way.

But if a relationship is not going to change towards this equality, then it leads to distress, depression, suppression, sacrifice, exploitation... for both partners.

Even the one partner, the exploiter – is weakened, cheated out from actualizing as a human being - because, our human spirit doesn't grow through resources we gain through exploitation. The exploiter may end up in the language of media – rich and powerful, but, in reality, they remain insecure, greedy and mere shadows of their real human spirit, as they remain hoarders of wealth... (otherwise, why would a person with 10 billion, try to earn 10 more billion? After a billion, doesnt it all become a number game? Just like, whether you score 50 thousand points on a video game, or 75 thousand?).. and do they really connect with another human being?

There are many reasons, fear, insecurity, image of life long obligation (slave mentality), indoctrination, conditioning etc. which can take us towards, taking the short cut of being in exploitative relationship (we exploit or we get exploited.. or both can happen in the same relationship)... maybe UN-intentional, - that keeps us wrapped in such traps.

Often without awareness... what is a 'good' relationship is supposed to be.. and that it will lead to 2 people, becoming more self-aware, confident, accepting in a non-judgemental way and leading to self actualization... but often in our society, the hierarchy never change... and both partners suffer, as they are unable to connect in a mutually satisfying way!

Often I hear, one person alone cannot change the world. But, one person doesn't have to change the world.. (if one person tries to meet every other person in this world, at 7 billion plus people, it would take, if every person is talked to for just 1 minute, it would take 1400 years!). So, each one of us, just have to focus on the people we interact with.. not every one.. the people we feel its worth having a partnership of any nature, any relationship with.. and try to see, whether can it be made into an empowering, equal relationship..

then the world might change... eh.. mate?