a 3 month old dog

took me some time to think this one out... to decide whether to write about it or not..  finally its here.
around end of March a doberman puppy was born... i hardly came in contact with it till first week of june.  but then, somehow we kept meeting and we became friends.

maybe not friends..  a dog doesn't get friendly, it somehow connects with your soul straight away.  anyway, this dog would follow me around a lot; learned to push the door to my room open and started owning a corner.  if i whistled in a certain way, it would come running and jump at me.  she was the greatest of playmates, even though very unpredictable and hyperactive.

it started to stay nights at my room.  follow me around even at office and sleep under my chair.  dragged a tee-shirt of mine on her own and used it as a rag to practice chewing and to lie down as well.  i even began to plan its next meal and would go on morning walks through jungles and would worry about how to teach it to hunt etc. 

Everyone in the community felt like they owned this puppy.  So she was named being named many times, but finally she seemed have become Chimi, which i guess is a popular name in Andhra Pradesh, but some called her Jimmy... anyway, everyone felt the one most suitable name will finally emerge soon.

teaching her to push the door open to my room seemed easy trick, but proved to be tough.  i guess dogs dont understand the engineering behind how a door works; so finally when she learned to do it, i was beaming like a proud parent!. 

but last Saturday, it ran under a vehicle, and died on the spot.  strangely i could remain calm and accept it as it is.  some of my grief i burned by digging a pit for burial.  but somehow that was it, there was no major grief response.  maybe true friendship or soul connections do that... where letting go comes naturally.  

Disorder X

I heard that she has come

Here in this gathering,

I do not look,

Do not trust my eyes anymore,

I see her everywhere.

On a slow fire

I constantly simmer,

Can’t seem to get

Enough time to even think,

Even though I just do that all day.

Where wave after wave rolls in,

To retreat,

And like the sea,

I also don’t seem to get tired, bored,

To imagine and re-imagine

When the contact happens,

And it swings between

Acceptance or rejection,

But either way I am swinging… 

Days pass, where I pretend

To be physically present

Except my eyes,

They want to go inside,

Be with those thoughts

In that dark cave 

Which doesn’t seem to have

The desire to push them out

Back to the edge of existence,

To gather light rays to be illuminated,

Her thoughts are enough….

I stop playing

In the middle of a computer game,

Give up reading a book

In the middle of a page..

Every song I hear

Seems to be talking about her,

Goofy grins in my face appears out of nowhere,

My friends are getting scared

Of my (empty) stares,

Even jokes and pranks

Seem too loud to me now. 

It is a disease... man, its disorder X.

Specks of dirt

Now I am free again,

To die,

In the jungles of reason

I have found a new toy.

One rare day, I witnessed along with

Shy morning sunlight beam

A dew drop’s fall

From the tip of a leaf to the ground

Rolling over

It created riot of colors,

Till got swallowed by the earth

And I recorded a memory

To roll around,

Even though when I stood up to leave

All that remained was

A speck on the dirt.

It took a few days to sink in,

That if you look from

Far enough above,

We all are just specks of dirt,

Even the galaxy can become a dot.

Enlightened with joy,

I carved a saying

‘If you can’t laugh at yourself,

Then count the stars’.

With a smile, proud and tall

I walked away,

One in a 5 billion human toy

Moving in a sphere of clay.

The feel

Seen her a few times and

Today talked, and

I am crushed.

When the heart sinks

It takes more time

To imprint.

And mysterious eyes,

Hypnotize, and I turn,

Every time she leaves.

And I know, she’s the

Bestest, beautifullest

In the worldest…

And I surge ahead,

Dance with imagination, Fly…

Don’t read, just feel.

Artificial dream

Artificial dream

I want to tell you a hundred things,

And whisper in your ears,

A thousand things, and

Share a million experiences,

And then some more…

I want to be with you,

Hand in hand, wherever you fly,

And see those, ever curious

About-to-laugh eyes,

Forever…

I want to hear your voice,

In every tone there is,

And sit with you and watch

The Sun going round

And round…

And walk with you

In the rain,

Water dripping from our hair,

On paths, weaved with

Wild wet flowers…

And run on the beach,

Play catch-me-catch,

And listen to waves and wind

While watching the skies dream,

And then some more… 

a new era

this june 2012 seems to me like a new era, as if i have passed a new mile stone. its wonderful how many new things you learn when a jump in your perception levels occur.

had a 15 day travelling trip in the last 2 weeks in the month of May, and passed through Nasik, Mumbai, and Kerala... i had been away for 2 years and the gap seemed enormous, changes every where very noticeable.  the world does seem to double its speed of change with every decade.  

in Kerala met my university friend, and his small family of about 150 people... it was awesome to meet those people and only then i realized how much i missed meeting all those people.  the return journey from kerala to nagpur happened in an auto pilot mode, i was in a trance of nostalgia, so the good thing was i was in a slow moving train and had nothing to do but day dream..

post return, i am meeting more than a dozen people who are interning for a month or more duration, and its wonderful to meet new people as well as getting back to colleagues, even though the gap was just 15 days, it seem longer.  (maybe its just me, or maybe others also feel the same way).

can't put down the changes that have happened to me in a very specific way..  and oh yeah, i am moving ahead with barefeet life style, and enjoyed traveling barefoot even in the summer... the sensations that every step gives is priceless, and its a shame to close our feet for most of our life time.  some day footwears will become like video cassettes... ;)

Painting

Painting

Let it be hanged,

On a nail, in your room,

To be admired, they said.

The painted house carried

That weight without a word,

Where I live, with my parents.

I stared, at the expanse,

The depth and colors,

Which they gave me to look at,

With an expensive sign underneath,

Invest in art was that week’s advice

Of priests at my father’s office.

Green grass, pretty flowers

And a lone mountain looks back at me,

Wherever I walk inside my room.

I was annoyed at the intrusion,

Until the golden frames gleamed,

Made us friends, fellow prisoners.