why do we have to be honest with ourselves?

April Reflection (AR) series 1:
i must admit, when i was in my early 20's, i was lot more scared than now.. it was all, bit by bit, through gradual exploration, i was able to overcome my cultural conditioning.
the falsehoods weren't swept away like spider webs in a day or two. i am here at my stage, after 20 or more years of 'one step at a time' towards freedom of mind. there's still a long way to go i know.
(though, sometimes, when i see today's youth, i get impatient and want them to jump ahead into that free state quickly.
but, i keep meeting, many youngsters who are already cool with self & nature)


 AR series 2:
its generally painful to be honest with others.. but, to be with self, it can be more heart wrenching. (and that's why often we find it easy to lie to self, and accepting some bitter truth about ourselves becomes such an irritant).
but, what could happen? don't people always try to fool self / brain / some parts of brain or thought spectrum, to overcome stage fear, test anxiety, and other million things like approaching a desirable girl/boy?
the long term consequence is what comes up. when we tend to lie to our self, the chances of our decisions (based on our own preferences/liking) tends to go wrong as well. i take up a job, because its prestigious in the eyes of my society, or community, peer group or whatever.. but, soon, i start hating it.. it could be same with partnering up with a girl/boy.. because they are socially approved as, good looking, successful, humorous, can sing or act well, is polite, buys you lots of things etc. leads to later life frustrations.
(then, sometimes, people become possessive and cling on to that relationship, because, there is stigma, if i keep changing partners, and break up indicates, i failed in my decision making. which makes them unhappy and that gets thrown around, leading to an unhappy environment as well).
without being happy inside, how can we share happiness with others? positive energy that is. if we do so, it will be just pretense and sooner or later other people would sense your energy as falsified, and become distant even without being aware of it.
its not easy being honest with self.. (i will be honest with you about it ;)
but, if you do, and keep doing, it takes continuous efforts, then it can lead to better self realization. reduction in confusion about, what am i? how am i? where am i & where am i going? etc. questions wouldn't haunt you as much. just like the way, change in fear levels happen.. as you grow from childhood to maturity, where the old fear of darkness, night, ghosts, some other thing etc. become less intense and threatening, as we mature.. they don't completely go away, but, our self awareness and assurance would have improved.
so, that's it.. no more advertising.. its up to you.. you know yourself best?


AR series 3: 
i would say, about couple of years ago, there was a change in me, a very sudden one..  

my thinking focused on unknown areas to me, and i traveled / backpacked again.. to be basically with self and to be with positive, peace people (backpackers generally are) and those who share strange unconventional journeys themselves.  their vibes helped and i realize now, after 2 years of thinking (you can call it backpacking too)..  how i rudely reacted against some people, especially in a second phase of backpacking... and later on too, though less.  

it wasn't you, but my own limitations at level of acceptance of others.. even some parts of nature..  repelled me and i would react strongly.. 

can't say i have control over it, or am better at it, but first step of awareness, and some acceptance is there (which this open letter to all, those i know and those i dont know, may indicate...)

why should i keep hatred in this limited edition of a game?  
can i win without cheat codes? 
most importantly, can i re-program this game? (played in mind)

reprogramming computer games, i dont know IT that much. but my own life game.. i can code or recode.. i have to learn to do that, otherwise i will keep operating on some other operating system, which wouldn't be suitable to ME version 1.0

i wont be able to change the whole game platform or operating system i was born with, in one go.  but i can do gradual, one thing at a time changes.. 

though the game has to continue while i repair!

its not easy, but who wants to play an easy game? you'd get bored.  

so, first of all, i apologize heartfelt, at any or all people, with whom i have reacted in a rude, inhuman way..  i will keep on trying to improve my Non-Violent Communication (NVC)..

though, rather than using a negative to change my attitude & behavior, i say, peaceful, positive, organic growth (sustainable) based communication - is what i will try to achieve. .  which also automatically would be ethical..  

i would like to reconnect with you all, if possible.. of course, mental wounds take a long time to heal!

AR series 3:
and then, i try to send every one i know, (& dont know), a big mental energy..  think of it as a pure energy embrace..  without reservations, without any thoughts or intentions.. just the way we should embrace nature..

hope such a hug can go viral..  so, share it with all you can.  
  its easy to connect and encourage people - whom you appreciate more & get irritated the least. 
  but, expanding our self consciousness & ability to share pure positive energy to others, who are not so close and irritate us more is not so easy... 
we can only gradually expand in that direction.. but do try my friend to share positivity as much as you can... 

whether you realize it or not, we all are part of this nature and share more similarities with each other than differences.  Even our DNA is 99% similar and only 1% is different.. or something like that.  

so lets celebrate that 99% of shared matter and send pure energy across to everyone else... or just share... one can't do it all, but all of us can do it one by one..  best wishes!

AR series 4:
Exploring inner self... 
when you go inward for self discoveries, have lots of positivity, encouraging energy inside yourself.  you should like the place you go, and it should share positive energy with you as well.. 

for that, you have to be a friend to yoruself.  

first, there are conflicting ideals and concepts within one person.  but can we accept them, as we accept a friend? 

the best practice for that, is by trying to be such a friend overall... improve your friendship connections with others..  its nothing but a part of learning, to treat self as a friend as well...

and there will be automatically enough positivity in you... your introspective journeys will become more & more enjoyable, like backpacking trips..  (or any other joyful activity you prefer). 

derive happiness intrinsically and keep sharing it with others..  by sharing it with others, you teach yourself to share internally as well..  (when your own internal concept compete and fight with each other, frustration can be the end result.   

often people feel, they can fool others by putting on a facade, by covering up their faces/body and pretending.  but, can you fool yourself?  so, practice what you want to be done with yourself, with others (you may say, old bottle in new wine...  but, wouldn't it make this world a better world be a better place to live in?)
and do you have any other planet to shift to? ;)



AR series 5:
why do we have to be honest with ourselves?
its generally painful to be honest with others.. but, to be with self, it can be more heart wrenching. (and thats why often we find it easy to lie to self, and accepting some bitter truth about ourselves becomes such an irritant).
but, what could happen? dont people always try to fool self / brain / some parts of brain or thought spectrum, to overcome stage fear, test anxiety, and other million things like approaching a desirable girl/boy?
the long term consequence is what comes up. when we tend to lie to our self, the chances of our decisions (based on our own preferences/liking) tends to go wrong as well. i take up a job, because its prestigious in the eyes of my society, or community, peer group or whatever.. but, soon, i start hating it.. it could be same with partnering up with a girl/boy.. because they are socially approved as, good looking, successful, humorous, can sing or act well, is polite, buys you lots of things etc. leads to later life frustrations.
(then, sometimes, people become possessive and cling on to that relationship, because, there is stigma, if i keep changing partners, and break up indicates, i failed in my decision making. which makes them unhappy and that gets thrown around, leading to an unhappy environment as well).
without being happy inside, how can we share happiness with others? positive energy that is. if we do so, it will be just pretense and sooner or later other people would sense your energy as falsified, and become distant even without being aware of it.
its not easy being honest with self.. (i will be honest with you about it wink emoticon
but, if you do, and keep doing, it takes continuous efforts, then it can lead to better self realization. reduction in confusion about, what am i? how am i? where am i & where am i going? etc. questions wouldn't haunt you as much. just like the way, change in fear levels happen.. as you grow from childhood to maturity, where the old fear of darkness, night, ghosts, some other thing etc. become less intense and threatening, as we mature.. they dont completely go away, but, our self awareness and assurance would have improved.
so, that's it.. no more advertising.. its up to you.. you know yourself best?