2 cartoons...

1:





2:

What is a 'good' relationship?

When 2 people, come together, connect on the basis of common values (aspects they agree as common purposes)...

and directions in which they'd like to move ahead.. shape themselves and others & world..

and in ways, which seems to them as fair and just.. without harming them & others & world.. (i.e. internally & externally).

Then, they'd feel that – together they can achieve more... and

they complement each other..

balance each other..

compensate for each others weaknesses & strengths...

when one person is particular about something, some way, the other person is not particular & can let go...

take lead or follow... with awareness.

then, that relationship, connection would be really worth trying for.. worth keeping on..

(there are so many relationship addicts, who hope for a miracle relationship for all their problems.. I have read & seen, some people suffer through blatant physical harassment, for many many years. For some, its till death.. even though they are not really masochists. (I mean, mental harassment can be not so easy to objectively see, as concrete as physical evidence, and easier to deny at times)..

and, other people, when they hear such an incident narrated, often wonder, “why didn't she/he realize, that abusive partner is lying and repeating abuse, all these years? How dumb can it be? .. (its judgemental, and the victim of such abuse shouldn't so judged).

But, I do wonder, why does it takes, otherwise, a logical, rational, intelligent person, sometimes doesn't realize they are in a trap, 5 years, 10 years, or multiple narrow escapes of getting murdered etc? Etc? Why are they willing to allow children to be similarly endangered as well? … my guess is, they really are not figuring out, what is a 'good' relationship. (of course, relationship is not necessarily, a family, marital, business/professional etc. it can be any relationship.. any kind of partnership, team).

So, to figure out, whether a relationship, a partnership, a team is worth keeping... we have to have an idea.. where will it go? What would be the status of both of us in this relationship a bit ahead in future? Will it be up-down or will it be based on equality?

Generally, when 2 people meet for the first time, their status, information level, age, resources, emotionality, skills, awareness (self / others), confidence etc wouldn't be similar.

But the general directions, they'd be heading would be towards, a more equal contributions and development of each other – as an empowering person... towards a flat level of hierarchy.. an equal status (maybe friendship can be used to indicate such a relationship, where there is mutual respect, where both are strong, and not only allowed to be so, but encouraged as well.. and without a power-control game as a hidden agenda in their interactions. (of course, getting over fear of being open about who you are, and what you want out of life, to your partner is essential.. otherwise, its a sham, charade and often worse than hard imprisonment).

So,a good relationship should lead to that equal status, sometimes gradually – but, definitely in that direction.. in that direction of empowerment... and towards equal status/ friendship – regardless of personal differences in information, age, gender, education, resources, skills, talents etc. a level – where they can treat each other as equals, in an informal way.

But if a relationship is not going to change towards this equality, then it leads to distress, depression, suppression, sacrifice, exploitation... for both partners.

Even the one partner, the exploiter – is weakened, cheated out from actualizing as a human being - because, our human spirit doesn't grow through resources we gain through exploitation. The exploiter may end up in the language of media – rich and powerful, but, in reality, they remain insecure, greedy and mere shadows of their real human spirit, as they remain hoarders of wealth... (otherwise, why would a person with 10 billion, try to earn 10 more billion? After a billion, doesnt it all become a number game? Just like, whether you score 50 thousand points on a video game, or 75 thousand?).. and do they really connect with another human being?

There are many reasons, fear, insecurity, image of life long obligation (slave mentality), indoctrination, conditioning etc. which can take us towards, taking the short cut of being in exploitative relationship (we exploit or we get exploited.. or both can happen in the same relationship)... maybe UN-intentional, - that keeps us wrapped in such traps.

Often without awareness... what is a 'good' relationship is supposed to be.. and that it will lead to 2 people, becoming more self-aware, confident, accepting in a non-judgemental way and leading to self actualization... but often in our society, the hierarchy never change... and both partners suffer, as they are unable to connect in a mutually satisfying way!

Often I hear, one person alone cannot change the world. But, one person doesn't have to change the world.. (if one person tries to meet every other person in this world, at 7 billion plus people, it would take, if every person is talked to for just 1 minute, it would take 1400 years!). So, each one of us, just have to focus on the people we interact with.. not every one.. the people we feel its worth having a partnership of any nature, any relationship with.. and try to see, whether can it be made into an empowering, equal relationship..

then the world might change... eh.. mate?

what is online (text) chatting?

On the Internet, chatting is talking to other people who are using the Internet at the same time you are. The technology developed in 1960's.. but picked up in the 1990's. Now, could this be looked as one specific type of communication?

Basically, verbal/oral & non-verbal (written, sign language, kinesthetic/braille), would be 2 types, communication is segrated into. There are formal, non-formal, etc... also, one-to-one, group etc. Are some other types. But, as a modern phenomena, if we take out, just the 'internet chat' as one type of communication, how will it be analyzed?

Here, i am defining, this 'chat' as, “2 people, typing on keyboards, rapidly, with each other.. reading & typing text”... i am not including video chat, and skype chat etc.. only the text chat. (keeping it very specific, for analytical purposes).

The keyboard is supposed to be, a computer keyboard, big in size. Of course, some people may be able to chat rapidly, on smart phones as well, and whatsapp has 600 million consumers. But, i am trying to keep, a big keyboard in, to indicate, a chat, which goes on for some considerable time... where both people are pretty fast at typing. (which means, just saying couple of greeting &/ few lines of information is excluded as well).

Because, the purpose is, to figure out, what are the advantages of such a rapid text chat, where multiple concepts are discussed, with some element of debate included. Its like intensely discussing an idea or ideas, with multiple insights given and taken. An idea storm or thought storm (a friend recently told me, 'brain storming' is inappropriate term, as its a condition which happens to epileptic patients).

How many of us, have had this experience? Very intense chat sessions, based only on text? (its very important to distinguish, this aspect, as, when you are chatting this way, lots of other cues are missing... visual, voice (tone), etc. This lack of other aspects /shades of communication can be harmful, but it also can help to keep the focus, solely on sharing ideas, concepts, in a rapid way. (of course, both persons should be able to read, type, understand English (or a common typable language), and grasp quickly and respond.

I have had great chat sessions.. upto an hour or more.. where multiple hypothesis, exploration, information exchange etc. Happened very quickly. (of course, i have had massive misunderstandings, and fights as well, but fortunately much less than the positive chats).

And, at times, i feel, its like a computer game (video game). Some of the things, which you are going to say, (going to do) would be familiar to you.. but what makes it all interesting is, you dont know how the other person will react. Even if its an old friend, changes might have happened in them, new viewpoints, beliefs, faith might have taken place... and unexpected debates can happen.. or a question about a small detail, which one of us would have overlooked is taken up, to transform both the concept and ourselves happen. (and sometimes, those chats become boring and very typical, and drag on till one of us becomes busy with something else).

And these chat sessions, the emotions they whip up... the way your relationship with the other person changes... just through reading text, the other person has written. (of course, its always good, when both have similar level of communication, and vocabulary etc. And most importantly, energy levels should be same.. along with free time to be able to chat uninterrupted).

And, i often prefer, this limited, text only medium as a communication... of course, sometimes, i find it easier to discuss sensitive topics, without inhibition... (it can lead to a conflict at times, but, with 2 right people, without much insecurity issues, it can reduce lots of other distractions and become very efficient way of communication). So, now, i've added on the title, (text)... to be specific.

I guess, everyone will have their own preferred ways of communication... and this is one of mine. But, its not easy to find a partner to text chat uninhibitedly.. so i resort to this.. blogging ;)

wish i could blog, some of my best chats... but, i am too lazy to save them... and too excited to think of using it for blog. So, no worries ;)

Not an Eulogy

(Eulogy: a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, especially a tribute to someone who has just died.)

My friend's grandmother died recently.. she was well past her 90's. She had physical difficulties, associated with old age, but mentally she was amazingly young and sharp. But what mattered most was, she was a golden example of treating everyone, including herself in a humane way... it took me a long time to realize her qualities, and even longer to write about it down. As she would be the last person, who would expect an eulogy... and that's why 'this is not an Eulogy'. She just lived her philosophy rather than preaching it...  And, its my need to write, share my sense of wonder.. remember!

I met her, when i visited my friend's house. But didn't interact much in the initial years. She was already in her 80's and dealing with multiple physical ailments, and thus restricted in her movements. And even when i met and talked with her, it was in a polite, distant way. What can there be common between us?

But, slowly i realized, even though she knows and interacts with 1000's of people, she has a way of making everyone who talks with her feel special. She literally knows and interacts with that many people. But, when she talks with you, she would focus totally on that interaction, without being overpowering in any way. She was one of the best communicators i ever met.

I used to meet her, once or twice a year or less. But, she would remember, what we had talked last time, or even before, and will ask about that. And always in a polite, nice way. When with her, I wouldn't feel a need to analyze and complicate anything, she imbibed her sense of tranquility without being passive, to others. And thus there is not much description about her, but only appreciation of her qualities.

I have met many people who were miserable in their old age. Of course, its a time of multiple disabilities, loss of power, control and being close to an end with reduced hope as well.. and its understandable, that they would focus more on self centered communication, and often one way talk with reduced listening and feedback.

I always remember her as a shining example of how best a human being can become, and sustain it till the very end. Despite whatever limitations she faced, always radiated composed, secure and peaceful aura around her. May her spirit live forever!

on 'god bless america'..

isn't it like saying, god, please check the borders, and keep that blessing only those within this one nation.

Simialrly, you can say, develop only Mango, Papaya and jackfruit in organic way... and no other fruit.

Its the same, whenever it comes to, working for just one group, or few people – because, you belong to that group.

Thus, shouldn't any person, trying to overcome, descrimination against any one group, be aware and supportive of other groups, individuals who are trying to overcome descrimination – as well?

Wouldn't it be better to have a genderless world, rather than just focusing on women/feminism?

Wouldn't it be better to have, as a broad goal – where every human gets respect for their human rights? Rather than just one section of society, based on gender, caste, race, disability, learning difficulty, physical injury, or physical difficulty... birth conditions, occurred conditions, sexual orientations, age, economic status, educational level, occupational status, etc. Etc?

Of course, at times, one group may feel, sticking to their identity, fighting for their rights as their goal, and a needed area to focus.. but what should be the broader view? Long term view? How things should be in 22^nd century?

her blog...

that did it.. pushed him off the precipice. That he was holding on to for his dear life all these years..

a blog it was.. her blog, frankly stating simple emotional states blog... few lines blog...

the precipice was a blog as well. his blog..

A pretentious one, covered up as intellectual analysis of society and its systems, he kept analyzing to find what was holding him back. With its 100's of entries, full of abstract descriptions and concepts outside...

the precipice was, that 'outside'... and when he fell, he fell into 'inside'..

isn't the inside actually the outside as well? Doesn't the inside create that outside?

Maybe he wanted to fall, and been preparing for it all these years. Each blog entry reflected that process, that journey down.

But it cant be a guide for anyone else.. as it is subjective process, journey... (but, like everyone else, he too would read wise words of others to find, that inside).

And the questions that now haunt him is.. what is happening inside?

What emotions am i feeling?

What are my inner constructs?

How come so many dualities or even multiplicities exist, as we go deeper? Shouldn't everything become sharper, clearer?

Why is pain at times perceived as pleasure and vice versa?

Is there a right & wrong? ... and is there a point in finding out any answer? Or is it that the pupose of life – to keep looking for a purpose?

And only when you are honest to yourself, flashes of understanding will hit you?

And its always flashes.. maddeningly so. Never long enough to transform.

(just as i got a flash of insight, or epiphany at the beginning of this blog, i started writing this.. but, it has disappeared now.. leaving me more confused).

Seems like, its the same fight, same game with same rules that's been going on at my 20's, and 40's.. and will be there when i reach the 60's as well.

Yes, this is milestone.. i am addressing that, I, myself now... looking in directly at myself.

Its frightening and very unknown.. but i am there.. and waiting for new experiences to register..

difference between sex and gender...

pedophiles and many other type of sex offenders, such as rapists, sadists,(all the types of sexual behavior, where human right of another person is infringed, and violence and cruelty is done)... they seem to be males... and never female.. is that possible? 

 

Violent crimes done by females in comparison to males would be a very low.. or could it be that, some of it doesnt reach popular media.. ?

anyway, is it okay to make such a group difference based on gender? Could it be, based on the way females are suppressed? If females are allowed to develop as they want, and males too, maybe such a difference might not exist, that is, in a genderless world.. hypothetically that is..

and, what is the difference between 'sex' and 'gender'? What is politically correct? What should be the heading, when you want to write, whether a person is male or female? Should it be noted down, under 'sex' or 'gender'?? (to be honest, i didnt have a clear idea earlier, and just google it).

Wikipedia says, “The sex and gender distinction is not universal. In ordinary speech, sex and gender are often used interchangeably. Some dictionaries and academic disciplines give them different definitions while others do not”.

I am really surprised – there should be some universal standards, definitions for some concepts at least.. (its another big argument, we dont have a metric system, or which side of road should we drive, and so on as world standards yet).

Anyway, the basic problem I think is, the need to define a person on the basis of these 2 labels, male & female.. define people on the basis of physical characteristics... (in his book, 'identity and violence' amartya sen gives example of, dividing people on the basis of size of feet... similarly, why do you want to know my sex/gender or size of feet? To me, size of feet should matter, only when I am buying footwear.

But, humans seem to enjoy differentiating people into different categories, and creating groups. It only seem to add to suppression and violence and infringement of human rights.

I started thinking – are all animal species, bird species, bug species.. or in short, various other life forms in the world, divided into these 2 sex categories?? can every life form be divided in such a way?

Can even humans be divided in such a way? There are intersex people, who are born without fully developed sex organs, or with more than one sex organ and so on. Strictly speaking, from the medical point of view, this dual category could be more for convenience than, for scientific reasons. (there is a complex article, on who can be standardized as male and female, when it comes to athletics, olympics etc.. which came out, when an indian athlete was disqualified, after this person won a medal in Asian games (maybe in 2012 or so)... this person competed in female section of athletics, but based on complex hormone etc categories, lost out, as didn't qualify as a female.

So, why insist on such a duality? Why not allow multiplicity as nature again and again shows us as nature's way?? (I was about to refer to nature as her, but why should nature have such a thing? If I refer to nature as male or female, am I referring to sex or gender? …. maybe there is no need to so much analysis.. just realize, that there is no need to categorize humans into sex/gender/other physical based categories.. just as I should oppose, noting down my skin or hair color, or other physical descriptions, such as tall, short, or fat, or any other aspects like whether I have 11 or 12 fingers instead of 10... we should maybe start opposing noting down sex or gender down on forms, our self descriptions.

We have to start small... take one thing, which can lead to a genderless society... and oppose the norms.. any ideas?

2 movies... "boyhood" and "whiplash"

boyhood and whiplash... 2 hollywood movies, i saw recently..  made me feel like, writing something about each of them. 

(i generally try not to reveal details/script of a movie, but, sometimes its not possible.. so, there is a **spoiler alert** if you haven't watched these movies)

Boyhood, with its Oscar 2015 nominations is already famous...  that it took 12 years to make where each actor ages naturally, during the 12 years, especially the protagonist / narrator, from a little child to gangly teenager and on the door of adulthood. 

for me, the cultural comparisons provided lots to think on.  how does people around the 'boy' in boyhood behave, in specific situations in Texas, USA... and how would it have been, had it been elsewhere, especially India.. or Indian movies??  of course, how does Hollywood movies typically show it and how much more realistic 'boyhood' is, can be another comparison. 

there's lots of instances of 'parenting' in boyhood... how do the kids in boyhood, the narrator and his elder sister behave? (here, inconsistencies in this elder sister character can irritate viewer, as she behaves sometime as too self centered and at other times very different).. 

though, how adults think they 'know' whats good and bad and tend to give advice in a confident manner... seems very realistic.  another thing i could identify a lot was, the disdain and boredom which the narrator shows as a child and a teen - whenever adults try hard to connect with him, and try to show they are cool.. (its not easy to figure it out, as its often subtle, or subtly sarcastic).

of course, showing the new generation, the 21st century children as so chilled out and connected with each other, especially the level of maturity and forgiveness shown by narrator was redeeming, but maybe a bit unrealistic?

the second movie, 'whiplash' is finely made, but tries to coverup a sado-masochistic relationship, between a student and a teacher in a sugar coated way... especially in the end, made me feel, its an anti human rights encourager through and through.

i would go to the extent of saying, its a "50 shades of music"... just like 50 shades of grey, which shows a sado-masochistic relationship (haven't seen that movie, but read the book)... and what irritated me most was, this movie almost try to state, hurt and anxiety is what makes good music... rather than someone enjoying it.

fortunately, many articles online, have criticized 'whiplash' for what it is, including jazz musicians, and others.  the 'control' factor in teachers, and how can a masochistic teacher argue that, he/she is doing it for the 'good' of the student seems to be shown in a positive light, rather than derided.  and, i always felt that, by being in the 'flow' is how beautiful music is created..  rather than in an anxious state, rather than through trying hard, and pushing themselves... like they are doing a bench press.  and as one reviewer had put it, this movie insults music intelligence. 

*i remember, a friend telling me about the directors cut and commercial movie cut can be different.  A Hindi movie, 'Mrutyudand' (1997) director talked about it in an interview.  In this movie, the women in a north Indian village, suffer harassment & discrimination by men/patriarchal society, and towards the end, fight back and beat all the harassers). the director said, in an interview, that last scene was 'dream like'... and unrealistic.  directors cut would have happened before that, and ended in the realistic, but pessimistic note.  similarly, i felt, Whiplash could have ended, before that last scene, where in typical movie style, the 'hero' miraculously pulls out amazing performance.  the thing is, would all the viewers have the courage to understand and accept it as a dream like scene? 

the answer my friend is... Obvious ;)

have i rushed headlong into someone?
inviting whatever that comes along with it?

the guilt then follows without a remorse
due to lack of patience, to assess the next step...
before letting someone else know me,
before getting to know them well?

i guess the questions make the answers obvious.


but would you walk up a mountain slow,
or strain every fiber in your body
in a rush up ahead to reach the peak?
breathlessly to the point of going blind,
test the limits of time and space...

to figure when you risk the very existence,
whether realization of 'being' gets spilled out
like sweat on the very ground your feet tread...


relationships may not be like a trek on speed,
or like, thunderous wind rushing to your ears,
when you pump with your feet and try to fly...
to make time move in slow motion,

as you near your meeting point, that connection
with all the dangers that may exist there,
when you reach your destination or exhaustion..

there is nothing more to go ahead!

there maybe thrill in the chase,
but is that all there's to life?
and am i ever going to mature,
accept and act my age...
slow down?

(*apologies to anyone, whom i might have hurt, even unintentionally...  and for my hurts, none needed..  as the quote goes; “How wild it was, to let it be.” ― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail )

2 questions...

rape – what does that mean?

And how and where did that word originate?

-  the banned documentary, India's daughter, which is on rape of Nirbhaya in Delhi and related controversies, i was forced me to rethink on those 2 questions above. Does a similar stigma is connected with men who get raped?

Why do women as a gender group have to face a different stigma, when a penetration happens related to genital regions of the body? (here, i am assuming, a similar stigma is not connected with men who get raped).

Where does it start? Isn't it strongly connected to a patriarchal mind set, which sets a different value to women and their body... and physical contact with a man.. why does it have to be so fragile a virtue? Why can't any human being, feel free to use their body the way they want and enjoy physical intimacy, without bothered by moral and philosophical dilemmas?

Why should sex be such a concern of society and other people? Is it because, marriage and life long commitment is considered so sacred and freedom to use own body to convey emotions with each other the way they want? Does mental sex, where one imagines it, goes with the same amount of guilt? Can any one human being say, they never imagined, or fantasized anything sexual outside their marriage, or with a married person?

Of course, people's interest in sex, or whatever else like music, food, traveling, etc. Varies from person to person. According to Dr. Alfred Kinsey, there are heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, pan sexuals, autosexuals and asexuals. Its a range. Similarly, there are people addicted to music and people who are not interested in music can also be there int his world.

Again, rather than accepting, each individual as a complex package of multiple likes and dislikes and neutrality, and thus celebrating uniqueness of each person (even identical twins are not same mentally), why do we try to suppress it and try to create groups of people with similar likes/dislikes? A really free world, where each one can enjoy music of their type, or not listen to it at all according to their preference can exist?

A genderless, a world without coercion and pressure to be uniform... and where we can live without judging each other within couple of seconds of meeting them??

i don't know thinking in this way makes me even worse than a rebel... and whether such thoughts should be shared at all.. what if i feel same way about religion, god and other such human constructs?

 

Where would you put thoughts of nudism as an accepted practice, in the range of rebelliousness?

2 things...

1) what is cliche and what is original?
2) can alcohol be called as 'self medication'?

cliche and original - how do you seem, when you communicate? 
i have seen many people, communicating in very cliched way - and seem to have copied from old books... or directly lifted from advices they'd received as children...

but, how to figure out what sounds like cliche and what sounds as original?  and can any one person claim to be able to judge such a thing? no..  and it will depend on the audience/listener -

but, nobody likes to sound cliched. and of course, one should not neglect old learnings completely..  nor should we close our eyes to new learnings, and think everything has already been discovered.  so, its important to strike a balance.

I see, people who have exposure to mono-culture, mono-language have lots of difficulty in understanding or realizing what is cliche.  Lack of exposure, often makes people sound like parrots, and leave their audience... but they go on without realizing it.

but there are no short cuts, to become original. one has to have exposure to information from different parts of the world...  to keep evolving our minds / our self in pace with the world.  its tough but possible. 

Short cuts can make you 'appear' as a suave or a person with wide knowledge..  but it just makes you 'appear' as one..  doesn't make you one. 

the pursuit should be to become a person with exposure and understanding of various view points (even contradictory ones) - to have an in-depth realization / insight about reality around us.  then you dont have to bother to present yourself as an intelligent and sensitive person..

you won't have to learn to quote or say things just to present such an image... and that also takes away the stress to appear smart / good communicator.  and when that over stress / extra tension goes away, you naturally shine..

2nd thing, is alcohol self medication?
ever thought, why is alcohol so popular, despite many health risks?  & social & financial risks too..

there are many people, who can't loosen up without alcohol..  and use it to deal with stress/tension of facing others, and enjoy themselves (as one is supposed to enjoy, as shown in media)..

can this 'party preparation' be called as self medicating with alcohol?  or stress reduction?

and if they are self-medicating... what is the problem that they are fixing? what could be such a major failure of health systems, which do not identify and give a solution to?

can it be termed as social anxiety? or 'difficulty in overcoming inhibitions' disorder? or as a way to forget their tensions for a short period, so that they can feel like a king?

the above symptoms would indicate, its not just a health or medical problem, but a social problem as well..  a society, which suppresses freedom of thinking, fails to encourage critical thinking and overall force from infancy to confirm to social and cultural norms to such an extent..  that a person has to use alcohol to free themselves up.

of course, in India, majority of women do not consume alcohol..  but, they are suppressed from even using alcohol, as its men-only self medication... probably faith and devotion are the self-medications, which women are allowed / encouraged to use ;)

even man, generally dont declare openly that - they are gonna drink alcohol, just because they feel so, or as self medication, to escape inhibitions which keep them tied up.  alcohol drinkers come up with various excuses and rituals to consume it (its shown in many movies, and Malayalam movies have it almost as a common theme in majority of movies..  and indicate close observations of such groups or persons who use alcohol, which is generally kept hidden).

these rituals and excuses are to put the responsibility of getting drunk and related destruction on something else.  because either they don't know its a self medication for an problem, which is not exactly classified/categorized.. or they are denying it exists.  or does such a social disease exist?

a social disease, with symptoms of, refusal to take responsibility for own actions & emotions..refusal to overcome social restrictions and question conditioned dogma..  and, yes, its very complex disease.

a social change will have to happen, rather than just banning its availability - the war on drugs showed, how it can lead to many more problems - as the change should come from within... and not through force and imposition.  maybe a long way ahead, or maybe its not so far off ;)

agency & communion?

a masculine person goes into a 'role' - when there is a need to show control. its a show, and its to state, "I can manage a situation, where control reigns supreme"...

Its a beast (control), whose horns he's tackling and sometimes there can be disastrous consequences...  but that adds to prove the manhood by willingness to take high risks, and once you do that, you try to reach even higher levels of risks...

the feminine role seem to have another feature, that of managing a situation by being compatible, supporting... to prove one's worth.  If anger seem to be dominant in masculinity, then fear of not being compatible seem to drive feminine style.

of course, masculine and feminine are too closely connected with gender types of man and woman.  so, i should switch to other terms like agency and communion. (gender based segregation of human qualities, i.e. grouping some human qualities into one gender, divides us as human beings..  genderless is the way to go...  just like- caste less, race less, age less, skin color less society, where every human is accepted and treated the same).   But what is agency & communion?

Agency refers to an individual’s striving to master the environment, to assert the self, to experience competence, achievement, and power. In contrast, communion refers to a person’s desire to closely relate to and cooperate and merge with others (taken from: Bakan D. The duality of human existence: Isolation and communion in Western man).  

thus, agency would be the male thing, and communion the female thing.  

the media, TV, Movies, Newspapers, Advertisement and literature (stories), keep repeating these 2 types, for male and female.  so, a female, behaving in a communion style, would have a strong sense to prove, she can be compatible with another person, to show her own self worth.  

its basically because, women would be brought up in that way, trained to believe and behave in that way mostly, through repeated conditioning.  and men too get conditioned in Agency style since childhood. 

what could evolve, when these 2 styles clash with each other?
the agency mindset, might not be able to fathom that, through communion, someone might be trying to prove their self worth'....agency mindset would see it as a sign of submission... and keep suppressing the communion style people.  

Even big groups get dominated by ONE ideology or style of few dominant members of that group.  others in the group, who do not share that ideology try to bring about a change...  and a revolution or slow evolution could be the result of this rebellion.  

of course, these 2, agency & communion are just 2 facets like yin and yang... keep balancing!

while watching a movie, i thought... (series 1)

movie name: 'satya' (hindi)...
 this movie happens in Mumbai..  while sitting near sea shore, the hero gives a ring to the heroine, and she coyly accepts it.  then they both get up and walk.  the hero is beaming from within... and while walking he steps on a puddle - but is unaware of it and walks away happily.

don't know whether it was an intentional thing by director of that movie. but it nicely shows, when we are so happy, we can ignore many things ;)
and chances are its intentional, as in that scene, the surrounding area seems dry, but there are couple of puddles, just in the area, where hero is about to walk.

... movie name: 'beautiful mind' (english) 
the scene where john nash (hero) is in a psychiatric hospital, and is dragged in by attendants.  john is shouting, i am john nash, and i am being held against my will.
Should a person, be held against their will..  even if they have a medical condition? 
(in this movie, the hero suffers from 'paranoid schizophrenia'... so, is it justified?)

How does an MHP (Mental Health professional) react to such aspects in their profession?
Would a decision to force another person against their will, affect this MHP?

How's it different from being a sniper, who has to to sniff out life cold-blooded, again & again?
(Do health professionals have 'burn out'.. like soldiers have PTSD... do they have too?)

Should bunched up concepts related to our brain, mind, psychology be grouped up under one subject heading?

(Just read, an article, which examines counter-transference, or on impact on psychotherapist: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/psychotherapy/rorschach-and-case-countertransference?GUID=5F38BC0F-88AE-4812-8359-088FC5BC8DA8&rememberme=1&ts=21022015

i had to ask some of these questions... maybe almost anyone who has to influence (manipulate) others in their work, might have done the same thing..

some would have questioned themselves, about this aspect.. some never become aware enough - to ask /raise to self, such questions.

and, strangely, we (humans) seem dual - one one side, a highly developed socializing need, with bundles of sympathy, empathy and emotional swings..  occurring from feeling of loneliness.

and at the same time, a fierce need to be independent, self-made, not-being-a-slave, ethical person..  and this part (to say), can create a guilt kind of thing... when we do oppressive actions;  just like sniffing out a life can take a bit of your soul away (basically, i mean, it can add a layer of guilt in most people).

some could be there... sociopaths or psychopaths, as they used to be called..  But, wouldn't they too need some reasons, rational to defend their actions..  otherwise, even they too feel guilty??

...girl with dragon tattoo: another movie, gives an example.  the villain or killer (Martin) in the Hollywood version of this movie (there is Swedish version, which is more raw/intellectual), is talking with the hero Blomkvist, who is tied up to be tortured by this killer.  "everyone came on their own will, i didn't tie them up and drag them here.  even you came when i invited you.  this shows, people don't trust their instincts... saying no to someone is more painful for them, than their own death"... philosophizes this killer in a chilling manner.

of course, this killer doesn't consider any other factors, of human psyche... which makes him really fearful.  and is trying to justify, why he can torture and kill other people..  but, even such a cold serial killer needs to have some reason, otherwise he might feel guilty.

so.. overall, its a fine balance - you have to keep independence at a level & sociability too at a level..  interdependence is more easily typed than practiced.

thus, life can be like balancing a see-saw...   

barefoot comic strip

Hmm..  another comic strip idea..  How much waste does a person generate, by using footwear? (how much of this waste is spread around his environment?  - i.e.. when they walk, are they adding bits of plastic or synthetic material, on the floor, with each step??  lots and lotsa questions.. 

dont be greedy... and work hard...

hmm..  couldn't find the actual quote...  its basically from a speech made recently..  but, the point is, how do we see hard work?  (of course, multiple viewpoints will be there..  and maybe will reflect in comments ;)

val day adjectives ;)

hmm..  how does a comic strip reach final stage of getting published? ..  through few revisions.  first there is a thought, an idea..  contradictions in human nature... gets presented through some twist (no wonder there are so many comic strips, we have that many contradictory views within ourselves).

then, you draw it on a page, or draw it on computer... the finished product looks slightly different from the one you imagined..  and then you feel, it could be changed slightly, into more sharper form.  then you make those changes, and show it to someone, to get an overall reaction to it.  sometimes you burn it, and sometimes, you think, to hell with it and send it for blogging ;)

there could be multiple interpretations... hope they appear in comment section.